Online Dating at 36 - The Good, the Bad, & WTH?

It's no big secret that I took myself off the dating scene for a long time.  I always had a valid -- at least to me -- reason.  I was in grad school.  Relationships during a grueling degree are difficult, if not impossible.  I'd be moving soon after graduation for a job, and was it fair to someone to get in a relationship only to ask them to move?  I could rationalize just about anything. The last time I was really dating someone was when AIM was a big deal.  Yep, I just seriously dated myself there.  We'd chat for hours on AIM, even after a date.  This was before phones could download your email.  This was before polyphonic ringtones.  This was before text messaging. Which brings us to how Bachelor #2 and I came to an end, so to say.  Late Saturday night as he was leaving the show I was supposed to attend with him, he texted me, asking if I needed anything.  Honestly, it was probably the first outw...

A few days ago -- Thursday, I think -- Bachelor #2 asked me out for a second date.  This time, tickets to a theater show on Saturday evening.  Against my gut feelings, I agreed, and not just because of the odd agreement we came to, either. I've alluded in a former post why I'm increasingly disenchanted with him.  Tonight, when I cancelled on the date, many things were confirmed. Let us start with the odd arrangement we came to surrounding the logistics of date #2.  First of all, the show started at 8:00 on a Saturday evening.  I was hesitant because that meant it wouldn't be over before 10:30, 11:00 at best.  Sunday is a work day for me with a very early alarm clock -- usually 5:15, 5:30 -- and I don't do well for a full work day on a few hours of sleep.  Not anymore, that is.  Tomorrow happens to be a bigger Sunday than usual for me, too.  Our senior pastor and our youth/children's pastor are both out of town.  This leaves me to h...

Welcome back, friendly readers!  Time for another installment in this craziness that is my fledgling love life. Don't get your hopes up -- I haven't been on another date.  Which is fine.  The biggest excitement of my day came when I smashed my finger between a couple of 15 pound free-weights at the gym today.  But that isn't to say there haven't been other goings-on. First, let's introduce Bachelors #3 and #4.  Bachelor #3 is a 42 year old flight nurse working on a graduate degree.  I've actually been chatting with him as long as I have Bachelor #2, but #3 has yet to actually ask me out in spite of broad hints being dropped by yours truly.  (It is times like this that I have to remember that men typically need things spelled out clearly.  Sometimes, even written out on a 2x4.  Which is then applied with great force to the head.)  Bachelor #4 is very new to the roster, as we have only exchanged a couple of "emails" via the dating webs...

I don't plan on this being a twice-a-day blog.  I hardly believe it will be more than a twice-a-week blog once I get the initial ideas out of my system and into cyberspace.  Nonetheless, here is today's second post. First, the update.  Bachelor #2 texted, and less than 24 hours after our date.  Hmm.  During our conversation, he asked me out for date #2, and ostensibly tonight.  I asked for a rain check for two reasons: 1., I had just left the gym and call me lazy, but I didn't want to take a shower and get all gussied up again.  It's been a long week.  And 2., I'm on call to sub for a colleague at the gym tomorrow morning.  A 5:40 a.m. class.  Yeah.  Which means my booty will be in bed about 9:00, not out on a date.  So we've left date #2 for some ambiguous day next week. Now, the possible dilemma.  Bachelors #1 and #2 aren't the only irons in the fire, so to say.  Bachelor #3 and I have been chatting about as lon...

Today's blog post isn't a recap of a date.  I know, you're shocked since it's been a whole 15 hours since I got home from my last date, but a girl's gotta sleep and work at some point... LOL!  Today I'm doing a bit of a retrospective and commentary on that infamous vehicle of the first impression: the profile. This isn't my first time doing the online dating thing.  It isn't even my second.  It's my third.  Third time's the charm?  Strike three?  We'll soon see.  But it also means I've been around the block a couple of times, and like most women, I have my opinions.  Having read hundreds of profiles, here are some thoughts and, shall we say, loving suggestions. 1. Use the space.  The "about me" section is where you get to really sell yourself, guys, and tell us ladies all about you.  It is where we can get an idea of your personality, and what you like to do -- that which comes to your mind when you are writing your profiles...

Tonight's date was with a very outgoing guy, a 45 year old medical IT guy who recently moved to KC from a very large metro area in the south.  Our communication online was, from the start, some of the best communication I've had so far -- keeping in mind that I've been a member for less than 3 weeks.  His emails were well-written, at times very long, and had a great balance of sharing information about himself and inquiring about me and my life.  Based on my suggestion, we decided for our first date to go mini golfing, followed by dinner. Here's where he starts to vary from Bachelor #1.  C learned my schedule, which for this week was really pretty crazy with church/work activities, and we set a day/time.  He then said he'd make plans and get back to me. Wait.  HE'S going to make the plans?  I'm not going to have to drag them out of him?  Looking better already! He found what he deemed to be the "best" mini golf course he could find reasonabl...

T is, honestly, the reason I finally joined this website.  I posted a profile -- free to anyone -- several months ago but never spent any time checking out my "matches" and never received any interest from anyone I was reciprocally interested in.  T's profile changed that enough, along with an email from the site with a great price, for me to sign on the dotted line.  Or at least, fork over my credit card information. Based on his profile, he wasn't necessarily "my type."  His pictures showed a kind of rocker-looking guy, with longish hair, bandanas, very California looking.  He'd recently returned to KC after being in a metro area that I knew to be fun and fairly liberal.  His profile made him out to be self-assured, confident, maybe even a little bit cocky.  His subsequent communiques were the same way.  In our chatting, he was the first to share his name, his private email address, his phone number... and the first to ask me out on ...