Online Dating at 36 - The Good, the Bad, & WTH?

It was only two days ago.  Two days.  A little after 10:30 a.m. on Wednesday was when my friend L sent her sly little "confirmation email" about next week's gathering/blind date which also served as a way of putting me and BDJ in more direct contact.  It was at 9:00 that same evening that I received my first direct email from him. I blogged about the "two words."  So now we continue the story. The emails on Thursday -- yes, plural -- were considerably longer and we've been having a good time exchanging information and starting to get to know each other.  That, in and of itself, isn't really blog-worthy material.  He isn't the first guy that I've zipped back and forth multiple emails in a day with.  I do have to say, though, the more I learn about him, the more interested I am.  And, I was pretty interested to begin with. Today as the email exchanging continued, the following happened: 4:19 p.m. -- I send email reply #2 of the day.  As...

Two words.  Specifically, "Likewise" and "Soprano?"   To quote Megara from Disney's   Hercules, "are you always this articulate?"   See, my friend L, the sassy British lady who has set me up on this blind date next week, did something pretty sneaky today.  She sent an email to me, her hubby, and BDJ (the bachelor) that simply said she was looking forward to hanging with us next week and reconfirmed the details.  It was all of two, maybe three sentences, but what it did was share our personal email addresses.   Sneaky, sneaky, sneaky.   BDJ did a "reply all" and wrote only "Likewise."  He's someone with an MBA, and based on his LinkedIn profile, he's a pretty busy guy.  I am sure he gets a lot of email each day and replies as efficiently as he can.  (I'll save my diatribe about the loss of social graces via electronic communication for another time -- and probably my other blog.)  I did the same, but with...

Guess who is going on a blind date? I have a week to fuss and fret over this.  10 days, actually, since it isn't until next Friday.  This is with the gentleman that my good friend L is setting me up with.  L is a hoot.  She's a 50-something British lady, a fellow  Zumba  instructor and classical music lover.  She is also a deeply-rooted Christian, and this blind date goes to her church.   I've seen his  LinkedIn  profile, I know what church he attends, and he has the recommendation of a friend.  So far, a good foundation.  In some ways, more than I would get via Match. But this isn't a completely blind date, in that we are just meeting without any buffers such as talking beforehand.  In this case, it'll be a "double date" with my friend L and her husband: Happy Hour, a local art event called "First Fridays," and perhaps a nightcap, depending on how the evening goes.  If he and I don't hit it off, at leas...

Most of us have heard the stories of being set up on blind dates.  Many, if not all, of those stories are shared because the blind date turns out to be disastrous, unless it is the rare exception, the answer to the question posed to a married couple asking "how they met."  I have honestly never been on a blind date, nor have I even been set up on one. Yes, there are elements to dating someone from a site like Match or eHarmony that make it like a blind date.  Although you've seen a profile and been communicating in some way, there's plenty you don't know about each other, such as the accuracy of the pictures.  In this day of email and texting, chances are you don't know what the other person's voice is going to sound like.  (Personally, I'm not a big fan of talking on the phone except to a very, very short list of people.  I've never talked to a date before meeting them in person.) That may change, though.  Not the phone part, the blind date pa...

(NOTE: This was supposed to be published on Sunday, but I was experiencing technical difficulties.) Since we last left off, I embarked upon a very intense, intimate, and tumultuous yet short-term relationship.  I'm still recovering from it.  It came on suddenly and yet is lingering oddly, no matter how done I want to be with it.  We met, surprisingly, on Wednesday morning.  We spent all day Thursday in bed together -- about 38 hours, actually.  Scantily clad, sometimes sleeping, watching some TV, and sometimes writhing about.  Friday morning, I finally kicked him out of my bed.  Yet still his effects linger on even today.  I think of him and my tummy gets all fluttery.  Still, I want him gone.  Gone completely . His name?  Norovirus Sydney.  Yeah.  The nasty, nasty, NASTY flu bug going around. The two advantages of having the stomach flu (although technically the Norovirus isn't the flu) are that I'm sure I've lost w...

In my last post, I wrote about how my Match profile was once again getting a lot of attention.  It was as if it was one of those Internet memes... "Suddenly: Attention."  Well, it wasn't a fluke or a one-time occurrence.  Even the same day I posted about it, I got more notifications.  So far, the tally for the past 5 days is winks from 7 different guys and 6 emails from 4 different guys. 6 emails, but only 4 different guys?  Does this mean I'm conversing with someone?  Yes and no. But first, the winks.  None of them have I reciprocated.  None.  Zero.  Zilch.  Nada.  Zip.  The vast majority fell into the, well, creeptastic category.  If your picture looks like a "cleaned up" version of that guy on the news who used to drive an ice cream truck until he was arrested for molesting a 7 year old, I'm not gonna be jumping for joy and excitedly hitting the reply button.  Granted, I'm probably projecting irrationally,...

I have Match set up to send me a text message whenever I receive a "wink" or an email from a Match member.  A few months ago, I assigned that number its own text tone so I knew when I needed or didn't need to jump for my phone upon receiving a text.  That tone sounds like a spring going "boing."  Why did I choose that one?  Why not? I haven't heard that sound for a while.  Aside from a couple of winks in mid-February, it's been since late January since I have heard that tone.  Today I heard it again.  And again. And again. Three times.  Three texts.  Three winks.  Three profiles for me to go through. What caused this sudden increase?  Easy.  I updated my profile again.  I went out on Match a few days ago, sorted through my "Daily Matches," finding very little interesting.  After that, I decided to overhaul the "About Me" section of my profile.  Being recently active and updating one's profile causes the s...

Everybody has their own way of finalizing a lost, missed, or ended connection.  For some, it might be destroying emails or photos.  Others might "defriend" or block someone on Facebook or other social media sites.  For me, it is deleting someone from my contacts on my phone. The list of people who get deleted from my phone is very short.  That former boss who fired me is one example.  A person who changed their number and didn't give me the new one (because it's been years and years since we've actually communicated) will get deleted.  Oddly enough, I can't bring myself to delete former Match connections from my phone, even the creepy ones.  I really need to, but for some reason I just can't.  I admit to scrolling through my contacts and sometimes scratching my head at a name and number listed -- often it is someone I've gigged with as a musician -- and I know I should just remove them but... call me a phone number hoarder: I just can't get rid ...

Okay, okay, okay!  I last posted a month ago, saying I'd be taking a break, a hiatus, from Match.  I've been true to that.  In spite of only one or two winks and emails, I haven't been out on the site.  I just haven't felt up to it.  Maybe it's been the incessant winter weather.  Maybe it's the 12 or so pounds that have found their way back after being "lost," screwing with my self-esteem.  Maybe it's just a little round of my old faithful friend depression.  Regardless, I haven't been out on the site, nor have I been out dating. That's not to say there hasn't been drama, though.  I've written once before about "Shark Attacks," guys who show up, churn the waters of drama, and then disappear... only leaving a "da-dum... da-dum... da-dum..." in their wake and a little frisson of trepidation mixed with excitement as to whether or not they'll ever return.  When the first attack hit, I was not all that surprised...