Online Dating at 36 - The Good, the Bad, & WTH?

Yesterday was our "2 week anniversary", which neither of us made any mention of because we're not in middle school. Okay, we did get a little silly last week when we hit the one week mark, but that was because we'd come so far and were, at the moment, working through our first... crisis. See, we'd gone out to breakfast and came out to discover I had a flat tire. Really, a real test of a relationship is: can you kill an hour and a half in WalMart without killing each other? We hit the "official" one week mark while strolling through the aisles of WalMart waiting for them to take their sweet time changing my tire. We each made some purchases, laughed a lot, did some PDA, and largely just enjoyed each other's company. Which was good, because it would be a week before we would get to see each other again. As I joked with a few friends, relationships are easy when you only see each other once a week. He works a lot.  I have 3 jobs, and he keeps cr...

I am now officially in a relationship with the Tinder guy that I initially cancelled on. We've both deleted our Tinder, and I also ended my Match subscription. The first "I love you"s have been exchanged -- and for the record, he said it first. It's only been a week since we actually met, but what a hell of a week. When something is right, it's just right. We've shared things about ourselves with each other that literally only the fewest of other people know. Deep things about our pasts. The baggage each of us brings from previous relationships and life circumstances. We know what we're getting into with the other person. To us, it feels like it's been longer than a week -- in a good way. I'm definitely not used to sharing my space with another person, but it feels very natural to have him here. We didn't even have to talk about what side of the bed each of us prefers, because it just happens that we each prefer a different side. He loves c...

I know that the title of this might seem scandalous. You’re probably thinking, “Geez, we know you have a busy schedule and your Tinder has been particularly active, but c’mon now!” Ah, dear friends, you’re making the assumption these dates are with different guys. Yesterday I had a lunch date with a guy from Tinder, one that I had been seriously talking with and not just flirting. As I wrote yesterday, there was definitely chemistry. It was at a level I hadn’t expected. I wasn’t expecting the attraction and connection on both a mental and physical level. To say it caught me by surprise would be an understatement. Were I not behind at work, the date could have easily lasted the rest of the day and well into the night. So after work for me, we met up for a drink. In the back booth of a local bar & grille, we talked. And talked. Deep things about our pasts, ourselves. Current struggles and dreams. What each of us was looking for in a relationship. How would my family react t...

So I'm currently at work and completely unable to focus. Part of me wants to blame it on the fact that not quite two hours ago I went and got a Trenta iced coffee with two shots from Starbucks, but I know that's not the case. I've gotten some  work done, just not nearly what I'd planned to accomplish today. Why? Because my brain -- and my heart -- is very confused right now. Last week (yikes, was it really just last week?) I cancelled a date with a very nice guy I'd met on Tinder in order to go on a date with a guy I'd met on Match who I thought was a better, well, match. That first date went great, and we set up a second. Tinder guy got mad that I had cancelled, and I figured that was that with him. (This is T4 from the first Tinder blog post, if you're playing the home game.) You would think by now, after doing this on and off for over 6 years, that nothing would surprise me anymore. Ha. Match date #2 started off great, or so I thought, and ended a...

Comparing Tinder and Match isn't even like comparing apples and oranges. It's more like comparing a complex Bruckner symphony with a top 40 pop song. Match requires the dedication, depth, and analysis of a Bruckner symphony (and ultimately you may not find much... a little music nerd joke there). Tinder is that ear worm that you can't quite get rid of, no matter how many times you change the dial. And yet... it's catchy. You find yourself singing along in spite of it. You even add it to your Apple Music playlist. A couple days ago, I was talking with a friend about the guy I'd been chatting with on Tinder, had set up a date with, and then canceled on. The guy who got upset. I thought I would never hear from him again. My friend thought otherwise. I hate it when I'm wrong. I admit it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Yesterday I was headed to my dinner break at work and pulled my phone out of my back pocket. Sure enough, I had a Tinder message f...

So it has now been a week since I reactivated Match and also joined Tinder. And good Lord in heaven above, what a week. This past week, I set up 2 Tinder dates and canceled both. One was understanding. The other got angry. The latter had already been sending messages about how he was thinking I might be "the one" and other things that had me thinking he'd fallen too hard too fast already. We hadn't even met yet. I was honest with him why I was canceling the date. Apparently my honesty wasn't appreciated and his response started with "So you're dumping me before you've even met me?" How can you "dump" someone you aren't dating? That you haven't even met in person? And if that's going to be your response, then I'm glad I canceled on you. One stalker is enough. I did have a date off of Match, with a second follow-up date. He's a great guy, and that's all I'm going to publicly say on the matter. Last nigh...