Online Dating at 36 - The Good, the Bad, & WTH?

So after being ghosted by 3 different guys, I was trying hard to stay positive and keep myself out there. It's not easy. If you're someone who is trying to date, you understand. If you are happily in a relationship, have patience with your friends who are trying to date. It's hard on your self-esteem. However, it was a good thing I did stay out there, because I matched with a guy we'll call Larry. (Not his real name, obvs.) His profile was quirky, his pictures were reasonably handsome, and he came across in his "card", as Tinder calls them, as an intelligent and nice guy. His first message to me was a question about a well-known Baroque composer. Not exactly the usual line I get, to say the least. So we exchanged a few messages about that, then he sent me a video about a certain kind of musical rhythm and asked me about that. I obliged, although I was starting to feel like I was teaching music appreciation via Tinder message. But a few messages later, an...

After dallying around with a couple younger guys who were mostly interested in the physical, I considered my Cougar Card punched and retired. I made a rule for myself: no more younger guys. (When I say younger, I mean 7+ years younger.) They can be fun, but usually not looking for what I'm looking for. Now a pro -- and a con -- to Tinder is that there is no such thing as search criteria. No way to limit age, distance, etc. After being on eHarmony and Match in the past, there's something to be said for a wider field. But when the age range of guys swiping right on you is upper twenties through mid-fifties, sometimes you wish for a little more control. I have some guidelines when I'm going through my Tinder likes. Generally not too much younger than me. The list of reasons I'm guaranteed to swipe left (to which I add a new one, any picture of a guy wearing a MAGA hat). Too far away. No profile information. And sometimes, you just have to take a chance. A gentleman...

Things seemed to be going really well. The gentleman I talked of in my previous post, we were texting, flirting. On paper, we seemed like a great match. Over texting, everything seemed to be going well. Until I kept pressing to actually meet him. Those who know of the stalked saga would understand why I have some trust issues with guys I meet online. Until we've met in person, I take everything a guy tells me with a grain of salt. So if I haven't met you, I'm going to be skeptical. The texting was going fine until his side started getting... monotonous. He has a slightly freaky sexual side that I'm okay with; frankly it's something that is not uncommon. But the texts focused on that. He claimed to be looking for a long term relationship, not a hookup, but only texted about sex. Sent me images from porn sites, wanted me to do the same. He also said he wanted me to be in control, be the alpha female. So I told him, based on what he'd told me about his sche...

Well, I've started chatting in earnest with a gentleman off Tinder. Our conversations have been great. The more we get to know each other, the more intrigued I am. I'm very anxious to meet him. The problem is, our first date had to be cancelled and is yet to be rescheduled. A little bit about him, without sharing too much: he's tall and extremely fit. How fit? He does "ultra" races for fun. If you don't know what an ultra race is, it's usually at least 50 miles running, over 100 miles cycling. Last weekend, he did a 100 mile off-road bike race. On his bucket list is to run a 100 mile race. Run. 100 miles. That's just shy of 4 marathons. But he's not one of those scrawny, zero body fat, all-I-do-is-run body types. I'd probably die trying to run a 5k, and I work out regularly. He's very good looking and very successful at his job, where he's ascended the ranks to be a Vice President. Being a Capricorn and very much attracted to su...