Online Dating at 36 - The Good, the Bad, & WTH?

Welcome back, sports fans! In the last update episode, "Larry" (not his real name) and I had agreed to be friends, and even friends with benefits. He had spent the night. I was calling him -- on this blog -- weird for still using terms of affection with me. Things were left open-ended. That was a week and a half, and yet a lifetime ago. Since then, I've met more of his friends. I've been to his house, met his roommates. We text daily, frequently. He's been over a couple of times since the last post. In fact, when he left at 6:30 this morning, we were coming off spending just shy of 36 non-stop hours together. Two nights and a full day. He and I work in the same basic industry, and as such our schedules are somewhat inconsistent. We both get two days off per week, but there's little stability in which days those are. His hours are set, always the same the days he works. Mine are not, both in what hours I work and how many. He has one consistent day off ...

I honestly don't know a single person who would disagree with the title of this post, male and female and non-binary alike. And in the interest of fairness and equality, women are pretty odd, too. But if I ever understand the creature that is the male human, I will write a book and make eleven million dollars and then be shredded on Reddit, Twitter, and a bunch of other sites I rarely go on for "getting it all wrong". Then I'll write a follow-up, make another eleven million dollars, and retire to an island somewhere where my internet will only allow me to watch Netflix and Hulu and YouTube, get on to Facebook, email my literary agent, watch cat videos, and play my games. Until then, though, we are at the present. It is shortly after 8:00 in the morning. I have mostly finished my cup of coffee, which is why I can put words together into sentences after a night where sleep was at times fleeting. That's what happens when you share your bed with someone who is worse...

So obviously, it has been quite the week or so. There have been ups, and there have been downs. In fact, let's recap the past 10 months. October: Get catfished and then stalked, file police report. Meet a guy from Match, have a fabulous date. Cancel a date with another guy to go on date #2, which ends up being a dud. Make reparations with the guy I canceled on, go on a date, fireworks, relationship. December: get dumped by relationship guy. Merry Christmas. Reconnect with Match guy and go on several dates. Continue to realize just how weird Match guy is. Early January: contract life-threatening infection, go to ER and get admitted to hospital. Have a 4 hour emergency surgery, spend 8 days at the Hospital "Hilton", then 6 weeks on full disability. February: contemplate life. Heal. Get strong enough to sit up without needing my heavy duty brace. Go back to "light duty" at one job. Random chatting with Match guy, who is now firmly in my mind just a friend. ...

So about 20 minutes or so ago, I blocked one of the "gentlemen" I had been chatting with. Why? Because he was a scammer. Yep, another one. Fortunately, because this one had given me so many red flags -- and frankly, once bitten, twice shy -- I shut him down early. So I thought I should pass along My Guide to Spotting Scammers. 1. They are usually out-of-town on "business", which is why they can't meet just yet. Sometimes they are "in the military" and their locations "have to be kept secret", which is clearly BS because secret locations won't allow you to be on Google Hangouts. In this case, he "owned his own business" and was "in California on a job". 2. They get evasive when you ask for any truly identifiable information, and then claim they've never been evasive. Phone number? Never got one. Name of his "business"? Never got that. Pointed out he was evasive? "I've answered all your questio...

It is almost 10:00 at night on the Fourth of July, and I can hear around my apartment the rapid-fire explosions of multiple firework shows. Given that the summer days are getting longer, it hasn't been dark enough, really, all that long for a show. But rain is in the forecast. From my third story vantage, I can barely make out a few colored flares of light from my north-facing bedroom window. Any other firework shows are obscured by trees and buildings. I am in bed, waiting for the blissful peace of slumber to draw me into its depths. For many people, days like today are fun and festive. Family gathers, the barbecue grill is fired up, and children squeal with the snap! of a firecracker. Pies are celebrated, and somewhere a local band is playing Sousa's "Stars and Stripes Forever", where I can assure you the piccolos are out of tune yet no one cares because they are decked out in their red, white, and blue and everyone is simply enjoying the live music. For some ...

Really, I don't know what to title this blog post. But "ugggggggh" is very much how I'm feeling right now. So I'll just lay out what is going on, and then you all can join me in the "uggggggh" chorus. I think on this blog I called him MG, or Match Guy. To recap, we went on a couple dates. I was more into him than he was into me and after date #2 that was that. Then I met someone else, got into a relationship, that ended, and MG started texting again. We went on a few dates that were nebulous, then I got sick. Since then, it's only been texting (and also blowing up my FB messenger, which we've had a few conversations about). He's suggested plans only to not follow through. A common friend thinks he's on the spectrum and I tend to agree. Well, today he finally followed through on plans and we're meeting for dinner at 5:00. So why the "ugggggggh"? A couple months ago we agreed we were just friends. Today, when he mentioned ...

Years ago, maybe 20 or so, I read a statistic that said that the more education a woman had, the less likely she was to ever find a fulfilling relationship. Actually, I believe it said she was less likely to get married, but same difference, really. Ever since I read that, I've lived in fear of it. I always hoped I'd be an exception, that somewhere there was a guy who wouldn't be threatened by my degrees and successes. I thought because "Larry's" attraction required intellectual compatibility, he might actually be one of those guys. Nope. On Saturday, I met up with him and a dozen or so of his friends at a party for one of their birthdays. Apparently, this was quite a Big Deal, as he had never before brought a woman around to his friends. I could tell he was a little bit on the fringe of the friends, but I'd been warned they were all extroverts and neither of us were. So I get it. I began to connect with his friends and have a good time. When he was ar...