Online Dating at 36 - The Good, the Bad, & WTH?

Right now, I'm supposed to be having lunch with #6, G, because we're supposed to be on date #2. Except I'm sitting at my computer, 30 minutes away from the restaurant we'd agreed to meet at, wearing jeans shorts and the t-shirt I taught two fitness classes in this morning, watching my cat chase bugs on the patio through my office window. At least I have a beer next to me. G called about 1.5 hours before we were supposed to meet. He actually called, first on Face Time and then as a regular phone call, but I was teaching. The Cliff Notes version of his voicemail was that he'd put his car for sale on Craigslist and it sold unexpectedly rapidly, leaving him with a load of cash and no car (other than his motorcycle). He needed to remedy the car situation ASAP, understandably. What I don't understand is why he saw the person buying his car today, knowing he had this date, but I've also sold cars that way and I know that is someone is cash-in-hand, you take the...

Just popping up on the blog to post a very quick update. Lunch with #6 has been postponed until tomorrow. He texted last night saying he "was a dummy" and got his work schedule wrong. We actually had a text conversation arranging the new day and time, and it's fortunate for both of our schedules that I can be somewhat flexible with mine. So we're on for Wednesday instead of today. I have finished the transcription that D (the ex) asked me to do. We've been in conversation quite a bit about it through the process, and today when I texted him to let him know I'd dropped it off at his house, a couple texts later he asked a loaded question: what did I think of the piece? Professionalism versus sentimentality! The bell rings! The heart and brain both come out swinging! And both got to answer, because they realize they have no beef with each other. A friend and devoted follower of this blog has speculated that perhaps all this with his composition is a ...

Many years ago, I used to work for a boss who another colleague speculated intentionally let things get just enough crazy where the boss could swoop in and fix everything and be the hero, even though he was the one who, through questionable management choices, created the chaos in the first place. Who would realize that? He would be seen as the knight in shining armor, the rescuer of the day. Frankly, it got tiring. Quickly. I do realize that I, myself, seem to live within a certain need of drama and chaos. I don't necessarily go around intentionally creating it or specifically letting things get too kooky, but I can't deny that when there's drama in my life I'm more alive. Psychologists would have a field day with this, I'm sure. I admit it, I have a need for excitement and a desire for activity; a life where nothing really happens just isn't appealing. Some people like quiet and predictable, but apparently I need a little bit of chaos. Yesterday was a bi...

It's a two post kind of day, apparently. I mentioned in my previous post of maybe an hour ago that I got an unexpected text from my ex, D.  He was thanking me for the birthday card I had sent him. As I said, I told him he was welcome blah blah blah, and he said thank you to that. I thought that would be it. There was more than enough in his long initial text to throw me into ponder mode. And, to realize I may have been given a truly legitimate escape hatch from #7, on a silver platter no less. Then not too long later, he sent another text. Responding to that was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make to date. I have a web-based business where I do custom musical score creations. Generally I edit from preexisting scores, although I do have a couple of transcriptions to my credit. D trained as a musician, specifically as a pianist and composer. Our shared love of classical music was one of our many bonds. When we first met, he had just started working on an ...

Recently, I read an article making a case for a sixth sense. Not the ability to be psychic or see dead people, but to make "intuition" a bona fide sense. Some people call it their gut, others say they just have a feeling, but we've all experienced it, and many of us have benefited from it. However, like our other senses, it can be easily ignored. How? Just like seeing something, and yet not believing it. When I've listened to that inner voice, it has most always led me in the right direction. Years ago in undergrad, when it led me to dye my hair almost purple, okay, that wasn't so good. Or to fire off certain emails, one of which led to the end of a relationship, not such hot advice. It's not infallible, that is for sure. How it speaks to us is another matter. Sometimes it's just a little mental tickle, a teeny itch that says, "Something is not right." Sometimes it is waving a caution flag like it's trying out to work for NASCAR. And then...

There's an old adage, "be careful what you wish for." We've all heard it, we've probably said it, and we've most likely all experienced it at some level. For example, today when I was teaching my Zumba class it started with all regulars, so I was going to skip over my usual intro spiel, but then did an abbreviated one and laughed with them, saying it was "in case one of them was like a spy for my boss or something." Fast forward 15 minutes into class, and my boss was right around the corner, working out on the cardio machines, and well aware of my class, watching periodically in the mirror. She wasn't officially observing me or anything, but still... I don't necessarily remember asking for more activity on Match, but here it is. It's been a crazy day, starting around 7:30 this morning with an initial email from a gentleman we'll now call Bachelor #7. As the day progressed, I received emails from 4 other gentlemen, most worthy of a r...

An update and a dilemma. Because after all, this is my blog-o'-drama. Let's tackle the dilemma first. Tomorrow is D's birthday. Yes, D, the most recent ex, the amicable break-up, the we-can-still-be-friends (after a suitable amount of time) former boyfriend. Ever since the break-up, I've been pondering - well, okay if I'm going to be honest about myself, planning - about his birthday. I texted him on Father's Day, and he was very appreciate of it. I texted again a couple days before the 4th of July, wishing him a good holiday. He replied nicely. I had considered doing something ballsy yet completely within the vein of being friends, such as offering to take him for a cup of coffee or lunch for his birthday. By and large, my friends were not terribly supportive of the idea. I had reason to think I'd be with someone else by then (ha!) so if I wasn't single, that would take a large part of the pressure off. As the days and weeks passed and the distance ...