Online Dating at 36 - The Good, the Bad, & WTH?

If you had told me on Thanksgiving I'd be spending Christmas in my moose onesie with the drop seat (a game changer in onesie pajamas, let me tell you) drinking Jack & sours with Beef Bourguignon simmering away, I wouldn't have disagreed. If you had said I'd be doing it with only the cats, I probably would have looked at you funny. Yet here we are. I slept until 11:00, and it was delicious. I'm in my fuzzy moose onesie, and Zen the Cat is next to me on the couch. My third Jack & sour is on the coffee table, and my Beef Bourguignon, this year made with tips of filet mignon thanks to a neighbor, is simmering away and smelling delectable. And I'm alone, as I have been for most of my adult Christmases. I've never been in a relationship on Christmas, my birthday (which is in 3 days), New Years, or Valentines. I will admit that last night after the festivities of Christmas Eve services were over, I felt a deep loneliness like I haven't felt in a very ...

Welcome back, sports fans! In our last episode, we found out: 1. I had been dumped 2. MG (Match Guy) had started texting again 3. LAE (Long-Ago Ex) wanted to hook up Well, I’m still dumped. Nothing has changed there. And, I haven’t taken LAE up on his offer. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, we’re going behind Door #2 tonight! At some point over the past 7 weeks, MG de-friended me on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he said he was thinking of getting rid of it or only having family, and couldn’t remember when he removed me. Fair enough; social media is actually part of what he does and as a result he is extremely private for his personal stuff: rarely posts, very few pics of himself, none of family, incorrect location, etc. I long ago got over being de-friended, and can you really blame someone who is so private for removing a woman he’d only gone on two dates with? The point of this, though, is that he had ZERO idea that I had been in a relationship or that I had been d...

My Life: A Soap Opera in innumerable acts Tonight's cast of characters: TG: Tinder Guy/boyfriend.... well, not anymore. MG: Match Guy, from right before the boyfriend LAE: Long Ago Ex, a guy I dated briefly who periodically pops up All events have actually happened in the past 3 days or so. Only the names have been changed to protect the identities of the men involved. So... on Thursday I got dumped. Except he didn't actually have the cajones to say as much, and it took him almost 2 days to be able to tell me. The same day TG and I got tickets to a concert in late January and had made plans to get together the following night, his ex-girlfriend called. That was Tuesday. I got dumped on Thursday. Now, I knew about her. And I knew there was some serious unresolved issues there. I am more empathetic than many of you might be, or are willing to be, because it was over 2 years and a painful email before I got closure from the break-up with D. I certainly went through a...

Yesterday was our "2 week anniversary", which neither of us made any mention of because we're not in middle school. Okay, we did get a little silly last week when we hit the one week mark, but that was because we'd come so far and were, at the moment, working through our first... crisis. See, we'd gone out to breakfast and came out to discover I had a flat tire. Really, a real test of a relationship is: can you kill an hour and a half in WalMart without killing each other? We hit the "official" one week mark while strolling through the aisles of WalMart waiting for them to take their sweet time changing my tire. We each made some purchases, laughed a lot, did some PDA, and largely just enjoyed each other's company. Which was good, because it would be a week before we would get to see each other again. As I joked with a few friends, relationships are easy when you only see each other once a week. He works a lot.  I have 3 jobs, and he keeps cr...

I am now officially in a relationship with the Tinder guy that I initially cancelled on. We've both deleted our Tinder, and I also ended my Match subscription. The first "I love you"s have been exchanged -- and for the record, he said it first. It's only been a week since we actually met, but what a hell of a week. When something is right, it's just right. We've shared things about ourselves with each other that literally only the fewest of other people know. Deep things about our pasts. The baggage each of us brings from previous relationships and life circumstances. We know what we're getting into with the other person. To us, it feels like it's been longer than a week -- in a good way. I'm definitely not used to sharing my space with another person, but it feels very natural to have him here. We didn't even have to talk about what side of the bed each of us prefers, because it just happens that we each prefer a different side. He loves c...

I know that the title of this might seem scandalous. You’re probably thinking, “Geez, we know you have a busy schedule and your Tinder has been particularly active, but c’mon now!” Ah, dear friends, you’re making the assumption these dates are with different guys. Yesterday I had a lunch date with a guy from Tinder, one that I had been seriously talking with and not just flirting. As I wrote yesterday, there was definitely chemistry. It was at a level I hadn’t expected. I wasn’t expecting the attraction and connection on both a mental and physical level. To say it caught me by surprise would be an understatement. Were I not behind at work, the date could have easily lasted the rest of the day and well into the night. So after work for me, we met up for a drink. In the back booth of a local bar & grille, we talked. And talked. Deep things about our pasts, ourselves. Current struggles and dreams. What each of us was looking for in a relationship. How would my family react t...

So I'm currently at work and completely unable to focus. Part of me wants to blame it on the fact that not quite two hours ago I went and got a Trenta iced coffee with two shots from Starbucks, but I know that's not the case. I've gotten some  work done, just not nearly what I'd planned to accomplish today. Why? Because my brain -- and my heart -- is very confused right now. Last week (yikes, was it really just last week?) I cancelled a date with a very nice guy I'd met on Tinder in order to go on a date with a guy I'd met on Match who I thought was a better, well, match. That first date went great, and we set up a second. Tinder guy got mad that I had cancelled, and I figured that was that with him. (This is T4 from the first Tinder blog post, if you're playing the home game.) You would think by now, after doing this on and off for over 6 years, that nothing would surprise me anymore. Ha. Match date #2 started off great, or so I thought, and ended a...