Online Dating at 36 - The Good, the Bad, & WTH?

So after being ghosted by 3 different guys, I was trying hard to stay positive and keep myself out there. It's not easy. If you're someone who is trying to date, you understand. If you are happily in a relationship, have patience with your friends who are trying to date. It's hard on your self-esteem. However, it was a good thing I did stay out there, because I matched with a guy we'll call Larry. (Not his real name, obvs.) His profile was quirky, his pictures were reasonably handsome, and he came across in his "card", as Tinder calls them, as an intelligent and nice guy. His first message to me was a question about a well-known Baroque composer. Not exactly the usual line I get, to say the least. So we exchanged a few messages about that, then he sent me a video about a certain kind of musical rhythm and asked me about that. I obliged, although I was starting to feel like I was teaching music appreciation via Tinder message. But a few messages later, an...

After dallying around with a couple younger guys who were mostly interested in the physical, I considered my Cougar Card punched and retired. I made a rule for myself: no more younger guys. (When I say younger, I mean 7+ years younger.) They can be fun, but usually not looking for what I'm looking for. Now a pro -- and a con -- to Tinder is that there is no such thing as search criteria. No way to limit age, distance, etc. After being on eHarmony and Match in the past, there's something to be said for a wider field. But when the age range of guys swiping right on you is upper twenties through mid-fifties, sometimes you wish for a little more control. I have some guidelines when I'm going through my Tinder likes. Generally not too much younger than me. The list of reasons I'm guaranteed to swipe left (to which I add a new one, any picture of a guy wearing a MAGA hat). Too far away. No profile information. And sometimes, you just have to take a chance. A gentleman...

Things seemed to be going really well. The gentleman I talked of in my previous post, we were texting, flirting. On paper, we seemed like a great match. Over texting, everything seemed to be going well. Until I kept pressing to actually meet him. Those who know of the stalked saga would understand why I have some trust issues with guys I meet online. Until we've met in person, I take everything a guy tells me with a grain of salt. So if I haven't met you, I'm going to be skeptical. The texting was going fine until his side started getting... monotonous. He has a slightly freaky sexual side that I'm okay with; frankly it's something that is not uncommon. But the texts focused on that. He claimed to be looking for a long term relationship, not a hookup, but only texted about sex. Sent me images from porn sites, wanted me to do the same. He also said he wanted me to be in control, be the alpha female. So I told him, based on what he'd told me about his sche...

Well, I've started chatting in earnest with a gentleman off Tinder. Our conversations have been great. The more we get to know each other, the more intrigued I am. I'm very anxious to meet him. The problem is, our first date had to be cancelled and is yet to be rescheduled. A little bit about him, without sharing too much: he's tall and extremely fit. How fit? He does "ultra" races for fun. If you don't know what an ultra race is, it's usually at least 50 miles running, over 100 miles cycling. Last weekend, he did a 100 mile off-road bike race. On his bucket list is to run a 100 mile race. Run. 100 miles. That's just shy of 4 marathons. But he's not one of those scrawny, zero body fat, all-I-do-is-run body types. I'd probably die trying to run a 5k, and I work out regularly. He's very good looking and very successful at his job, where he's ascended the ranks to be a Vice President. Being a Capricorn and very much attracted to su...

So as I said in my last post, I'm back on Tinder. And I'm sure I've made a post like this before, but here's my updated list of things that are pretty guaranteed to make me swipe left. 1. No picture, or making me dig for one. Now, you might think me having to check out your profile to see a picture of you is cunning. I find it annoying. What are you hiding? Why won't you put your face out there for all to see? Are you cheating on someone? Are you that unattractive? Are you that technologically inept where you don't know how to make an actual picture of you the first thing I see? 2. Bad pictures of yourself. In this day and age, 99% of the population has a phone that has a camera. There's no excuse for bad selfies. Or blurry selfies. Have a friend who knows how to focus take a picture of you. Watch a YouTube video on how to take a good selfie. Do a Google search. There's probably a library book if you're that much of a luddite. 3. Lots and l...

My last post was January 2. I was excited to "reclaim my body" and slightly annoyed with MG (Match Guy). Little did I know what would happen beginning just 2 days later. For those who are not my Facebook friends, here is what happened -- and why I've been absent for almost 6 months. On Friday, January 4, I felt like I was coming down with the flu. I took my temperature and it was elevated. I took Tylenol and started to do All The Right Things (TM). My fever spiked at 103.2*, but quickly came back down and settled in the 100.5*-101.5* range.  Over the weekend my temperature remained consistent in that low grade fever, but I continued to add worsening symptoms. By Saturday at noon, I just wanted to be in bed. Monday morning, I called my doctor's office. Being the daughter of a nurse and well versed in medicalese, when they called me back that afternoon I was honest and thorough with the nurse about everything that was happening. Her conclusion was that I had eithe...

I did end up hearing from MG yesterday while I was a work. He sent a perky text wishing me a Happy New Year and that he was at his grandma's a couple hours away. My first thought was, "his grandmother is still alive?" (MG is about 8 years older than me.) But I lost all grandparents I had any emotional attachment to in the late 1980's, so I have to stop and remember that my situation is not the norm. Then I have to admit I was pleased to hear from him, and that he didn't mention any food. Me, being me, replied with a sassy text, and I texted him today along the lines of his favorite subject. But in spite of that, I've made a decision. I'm not calling it a "New Year's Resolution" or anything like that. It's merely a decision. I'm taking back my body. I am who I am. I am the size that I am. If I want to be thinner, then by all means I know how to do it and I will take those steps. If I want to be heavier (God only know why ), I...