Finally, It Is Time
Over the past few months, I've certainly been vacillating about my dating life. The pendulum swung between "I'm ready!" to "Who am I kidding?!" weekly if not daily. Whether I chose to admit it or not, my brief but extremely intense relationship with my ex left me with a lot of baggage. And what he didn't contribute to, my screwed up body chemistry thanks to the Depo added the rest.
But now I can say with certainty that I am ready to go back out there! How do I know that? Three reasons.
1. I've been continuing to shrink and, as such, having to buy new clothes. Usually my criteria for a new dress is: can it be worn to church or to teach in? Many dresses can do both, and some are too nice to chase after Kindergartners in. But in the past few weeks, I've come across dresses at amazing clearance prices that fall into the "total maneater date dress" category, and I've bought them thinking, "Now all I have to do is get a date!" Doesn't seem like that big of a deal, until you consider that I've spent more time than I care to admit contemplating whether or not to buy something based on upon the chances that my ex will see me in it and regret his decision.
2. A friend mentioned to me that one of her coworkers is single, and I'm actually quite interested in this. No, this isn't a blind date. This is someone who we both know in common, and who I've always wondered about. He will talk about his sons, but doesn't wear a wedding ring. Now there are many men who choose to not wear a wedding ring, so the lack of one can never be a determiner in a man's status. I've even seen articles and such related to that topic, with women complaining and wondering why their man doesn't wear a ring. It turns out this gentleman is indeed single; he's a widower. So cue the awkwardness the next time I see him, and it will be awkward for two reasons: first, I'm a Briggs-Meyer introvert. Small talk terrifies me, and so I totally suck at it. Secondly, he's technically a client of mine, and there are certain ethical rules about pursuing one's clients for personal reasons. I have to maintain a professional distance there, unless he comes after me.
3. This is the biggest reason, and I haven't even told my closest girlfriend confidantes about this. I had a long -- 35-40 minutes long -- text conversation with the ex earlier this week, and it hasn't set me back one iota. I'm probably more excited than ever to more forward. Our conversation was quite normal, pretty much how we chatted before the split, friendly with that comfortable level of flirting that two friends who have acknowledged a mutual interest in each other can have. I will admit I started it, sent the first text. I had a very legit reason for doing so, and the text did not necessitate a reply. But, he chose to reply. Three times. Then, and only then, could I get a word in. It is very nice to know that is well on its way to being truly mended; I don't quite have that bizarre sense of uncertainty hanging over me.
Within the next week or so, I'll be updating ye old Match profile, changing my pictures, and renewing my membership. And then I can return to providing regular drama installments into your lives via the crazy profiles and unusual dates. Bring on the rollercoaster!
But now I can say with certainty that I am ready to go back out there! How do I know that? Three reasons.
1. I've been continuing to shrink and, as such, having to buy new clothes. Usually my criteria for a new dress is: can it be worn to church or to teach in? Many dresses can do both, and some are too nice to chase after Kindergartners in. But in the past few weeks, I've come across dresses at amazing clearance prices that fall into the "total maneater date dress" category, and I've bought them thinking, "Now all I have to do is get a date!" Doesn't seem like that big of a deal, until you consider that I've spent more time than I care to admit contemplating whether or not to buy something based on upon the chances that my ex will see me in it and regret his decision.
2. A friend mentioned to me that one of her coworkers is single, and I'm actually quite interested in this. No, this isn't a blind date. This is someone who we both know in common, and who I've always wondered about. He will talk about his sons, but doesn't wear a wedding ring. Now there are many men who choose to not wear a wedding ring, so the lack of one can never be a determiner in a man's status. I've even seen articles and such related to that topic, with women complaining and wondering why their man doesn't wear a ring. It turns out this gentleman is indeed single; he's a widower. So cue the awkwardness the next time I see him, and it will be awkward for two reasons: first, I'm a Briggs-Meyer introvert. Small talk terrifies me, and so I totally suck at it. Secondly, he's technically a client of mine, and there are certain ethical rules about pursuing one's clients for personal reasons. I have to maintain a professional distance there, unless he comes after me.
3. This is the biggest reason, and I haven't even told my closest girlfriend confidantes about this. I had a long -- 35-40 minutes long -- text conversation with the ex earlier this week, and it hasn't set me back one iota. I'm probably more excited than ever to more forward. Our conversation was quite normal, pretty much how we chatted before the split, friendly with that comfortable level of flirting that two friends who have acknowledged a mutual interest in each other can have. I will admit I started it, sent the first text. I had a very legit reason for doing so, and the text did not necessitate a reply. But, he chose to reply. Three times. Then, and only then, could I get a word in. It is very nice to know that is well on its way to being truly mended; I don't quite have that bizarre sense of uncertainty hanging over me.
Within the next week or so, I'll be updating ye old Match profile, changing my pictures, and renewing my membership. And then I can return to providing regular drama installments into your lives via the crazy profiles and unusual dates. Bring on the rollercoaster!
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