Online Dating at 36 - The Good, the Bad, & WTH?

Well, good evening blog followers. It's a lovely, if not slightly chilly evening in mid-April. It is my first evening at home in quite a while - at least three weeks. I am relaxing on the couch, enjoying a cocktail after a delicious homemade dinner, and obviously blogging. There's much to catch up on, and yet nothing to report. We'll take it one gentleman at a time. Mr. M The most recent candidate, Mr. M and I are casual acquaintances at best right now. He is needing to focus on his divorce and how hard that is on his daughters, and that is understandable. We play the occasional Trivia Crack game and text maybe once or twice a week. At some point, probably in a few weeks, I'll ask for us to Talk. I just need to know if I was only a ONS. If I was, so be it. If I wasn't, then what the hell is going on? I can't wait forever in limbo. He's a guy worth having around, or so he seems. But maybe I'm just stupid. D I promised to never really blog about D ev

It's a lovely spring evening. I'm sitting out on my balcony, swathed in my Snuggie because there's still the slight chill in the air that comes as winter slowly concedes to the new season. Obviously my laptop is on my lap, and over the rooftops in front of me I can see beautiful pinks and greys of the setting sun. I also have tears silently streaming down my face. When I last blogged, I was all upset over how things had seemed to change. I wish I could say that things have gotten better, but they have not. There has been practically no flirting whatsoever. No funny pictures sent to me, almost no simple "good morning" or "good night" texts. Today, in spite of me texting him twice, I have not heard from him. He's had time to play several rounds of Trivia Crack, though. Two night ago we got into a political discussion via text. Now there are two key things to remember about he and me, and politics. First, we are not of the same party. Secondly,

So it's been a couple weeks since I met Mr. M and we really clicked beyond the initial texting. We met a couple more times for drinks and conversation, and had very enjoyable times. The second time we did that, a late-night meeting after a busy concert weekend for me, we had a fairly serious conversation. He spent a good 45 minutes unburdening himself on me. He wanted me to know exactly  where he was with his marriage (he's currently separated), why he cheated on his wife, why he did that with the person he did, and other such things. In his words, he wanted to tell me all this information for two key reasons: 1. If any of it was going to be a deal breaker, he wanted me to break the deal sooner rather than later. 2. He felt he "could not move forward seriously with me" unless he did. I had told him before the conversation that while I don't condone infidelity, I do believe that people can find themselves in situations not of their own choosing/making wherei

Some people you just click with. Some, you don't, even though you may enjoy their company. Some people you just "get." Some, you don't, no matter how hard you try. And thus begins the tale of two dates, a week apart. Last weekend, I met Bachelor #I-have-no-idea-anymore for coffee. Here is how we "met" on Match: 1. I winked at him. 2. He winked back. 3. I emailed him thanking for the wink and asking about his week. 4. He replied asking for a date. Which means prior to meeting him, what I knew about him was pretty much only what was on his profile. Normally I don't do that. I want to start to get to know someone through communication, be it via Match emails or texting. But more than once I have talked about this with my good friend, the (in)famous D. He is someone who prefers to just meet and see if there is chemistry. Knowing that not everyone is like me is why I agreed to the date. We met for coffee at hipster mecca, chosen because

Once again, I've been remiss about blogging when there's information to share and discuss. It's partly been a lack of time, and partly the self-imposed "gag order" on certain subjects. It isn't that I haven't had thoughts to blog about, although several I can't because... I just can't. But today, three (mostly) unrelated topics for your reading pleasure! Dates As of my last posting, I was, I believe preparing for date #1 with M. We, of course, went on said date, which was simply meeting at a local sports bar for a couple of beers and some "get to know you" kind of chatting. I was pleasantly surprised to find he was more attractive in person than in his pictures, but I still wasn't sure of the true level of attraction. The date was... okay. It wasn't great, it wasn't scintillating, I didn't leave it thinking I was super excited. But, it was  reasonably enjoyable, and first dates can be weird anyway. Connections and perso

A week ago, I renewed my Match subscription. Not really sure I'm actually ready to be back out there, but aware this is key to me getting back on track, I only signed up for a 3 month membership. After all, last time it was about 3 months in when I said "screw this" and stopped going on the site. Like I said, it's been a week. And already I have my self ass-deep in drama. There are 3 gentlemen that I've been chatting with and have, at some point, agreed to meet. But as of this morning, that shifted. I'm going to introduce them in the order of drama, since they all came onto the scene about the same time. First up is G. G and I had actually started chatting right around the time I met D, so we were able in many ways to pick up where we'd left off. He's a 40 year old accountant with a 4 year old daughter. He also happens to be African-American. I have no problems with interracial dating, although I've never done it. He seems like a really nice gu

Since my dating life is quiet and without blog-able drama, some of my followers have started sending me "interesting" articles and other blogs on dating, looking for me to comment upon them or address them on my own blog. On Sunday, one of my best friends showed me a blog post that had been shared on Facebook by one of her friends. Over lunch, I skimmed it on her phone. Later that evening while hanging out at my other best friend's house, I read it in more detail. It has taken me until now to be able to be in a calm enough frame of mind to even address parts of it. The blog post is titled "Ten Women Christian Men Should Not Marry." It is written by a conservative pastor in New York. And when I say "conservative," I mean "so fundamentalist, many fundamentalist Christians thinks he's a whack job." Seriously. This is the same person who reached minor internet fame when he proclaimed that Starbuck's lattes are flavored with the semen of

Almost 130 of you read my cathartic post about current stresses with D and our friendship. Many of you reached out to me with messages of love and support. But I am certainly not without my own mistakes. The biggest one I've made in my friendship with D so far was writing and posting that blog. I have taken that post down because some things are more important than drama blogs. D and I have talked, and things are back where they should be, in the comfortable realm of good friends who truly care for each other. I've agreed to be better about my communicating; I am someone who tends to bottle up pain, hurt, and frustration rather than talk about it, and that is no way to handle any kind of interpersonal relationship. I have found D to be an excellent and open listener: he doesn't jump to defenses, he hears me out, asks good questions, and sorts through what I have to say in a fair way while remaining calm. It will be a struggle for me to be what I perceive as confrontationa