And, Scene.
After me spending about 48 hours analyzing and reviewing the date and wondering why he hadn't yet called, he called. Sure, there were plenty of reasons for the delay in calling. We chatted for 35 minutes. Turns out, the reason he called was the reason I was dreading.
He really enjoyed talking and meeting me. He had a great time. But, the spark wasn't there for him.
I understood. I was thankful he actually called to say that to me, rather than texting, or worse yet, just disappearing. He even said that; after he himself going through Match and numerous women who just disappeared, he swore to never do that to another person.
Doesn't make it any easier.
Right now, my self-esteem, which is often low, is non-existent. I'm not saying that, fishing for an outpouring of love and warm fuzzies. It's just where my brain is right now, not to mention my heart.
If there's a silver lining, situations like this usually cause my appetite to pull a Houdini. Maybe another big drop in weight will come from this. I also have a recital coming up; not only is my time limited for dating but now I will have more recent emotions to draw upon when I sing of unrequited love. (On the flip side, the songs that are all joyous about love will be that much harder.)
I feel hollow and sad, and a little nauseous. But tomorrow the sun will rise (somewhere behind the snow clouds) and another day will begin. I will move forward. It might start slow, with heavy footsteps, but it will happen.
And for now, once again, this blog will go quiet. Cheers, friends.
Postscript: A few days, maybe a week or so ago, I changed my Facebook cover photo to a quote. It reads, "In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you." How gracefully you let go of things not meant for you... grace. My goal.
He really enjoyed talking and meeting me. He had a great time. But, the spark wasn't there for him.
I understood. I was thankful he actually called to say that to me, rather than texting, or worse yet, just disappearing. He even said that; after he himself going through Match and numerous women who just disappeared, he swore to never do that to another person.
Doesn't make it any easier.
Right now, my self-esteem, which is often low, is non-existent. I'm not saying that, fishing for an outpouring of love and warm fuzzies. It's just where my brain is right now, not to mention my heart.
If there's a silver lining, situations like this usually cause my appetite to pull a Houdini. Maybe another big drop in weight will come from this. I also have a recital coming up; not only is my time limited for dating but now I will have more recent emotions to draw upon when I sing of unrequited love. (On the flip side, the songs that are all joyous about love will be that much harder.)
I feel hollow and sad, and a little nauseous. But tomorrow the sun will rise (somewhere behind the snow clouds) and another day will begin. I will move forward. It might start slow, with heavy footsteps, but it will happen.
And for now, once again, this blog will go quiet. Cheers, friends.
Postscript: A few days, maybe a week or so ago, I changed my Facebook cover photo to a quote. It reads, "In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you." How gracefully you let go of things not meant for you... grace. My goal.
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