Explanation (Updated)

Almost 130 of you read my cathartic post about current stresses with D and our friendship. Many of you reached out to me with messages of love and support. But I am certainly not without my own mistakes. The biggest one I've made in my friendship with D so far was writing and posting that blog. I have taken that post down because some things are more important than drama blogs.

D and I have talked, and things are back where they should be, in the comfortable realm of good friends who truly care for each other. I've agreed to be better about my communicating; I am someone who tends to bottle up pain, hurt, and frustration rather than talk about it, and that is no way to handle any kind of interpersonal relationship. I have found D to be an excellent and open listener: he doesn't jump to defenses, he hears me out, asks good questions, and sorts through what I have to say in a fair way while remaining calm. It will be a struggle for me to be what I perceive as confrontational, but I do know in the end it will save a lot of pain and suffering for both of us.

This is also most likely the last time I will write about D. Unless something truly odd and unexpected happens, he is a friend. A good friend. One of my best friends. But, he is no longer fodder for my blog-o-drama. Back in May/June he was, but he and our connection has moved beyond that.

I do want to share with you, though, an article/blog I found on another site via a Facebook friend posting and sharing it. Many of the things the author says hit very close to home for me, as I am continuing to make adjustments in my friendship with D, how I handle that gift, and what happened that got us to this pain - what did I do, that is. Many of the things the author says are not applicable to my situation. However, I do know that I have friends and followers of this blog who are in similar friendships/relationships. Take much of what this author says to heart, and if nothing else, realize you and I are not alone in all this.

You will find the blog/article here: The New Side Chick

In the meantime, it's time for another hiatus. When I'm ready to return to dating (inevitably Match), you will know, and the drama will continue. But right now, I'm very happy to be single.

Comments

Post a Comment

We are all adults here. Comments are welcome, but they are also moderated because there has been a marked increase in spam, trolling, and generally snarky and nasty comments being submitted. Different opinions are welcome when expressed maturely; rude comments and links will not be published.

Popular posts from this blog

Two and Done (Late Post)

NOTE: This post was supposed to be posted on November 9. Whoops. Fair warning: I'm pretty blue right now. It seems two and done is the name of the game right now. First there was NDD. Now the Doctor seems to be a two and done. The second date went really well. Then he got sick with a cold and the texting dwindled. And dwindled. I asked him if he was ghosting me, and if he was, to just be upfront about it. "After last night, why do you think I would be ghosting you?" It was a valid point, but didn't explain the behavior. Yesterday I texted him asking to get on his calendar for Tuesday. He thought it might work, said he needed to check his schedule. He was going out of town on Wednesday and hadn't decided if he was leaving "early, early Wednesday morning" or Tuesday evening. Even though we exchanged a few texts, I never really heard back. Today I texted him that I hoped he was feeling better, that I felt his interest in me was waning, if I wa
Read more

Even Bach Had His Mondays - Part 1

For those who may not know, my actual life is that of a classical musician. One of my professors in grad school used to say when things went awry that "even Bach had his Mondays". That was his way of saying that even people who are considered masters of their art form have off days and don't produce their best work. It's been about 3 months since I last blogged, and in that time there have been quite a few Mondays. "Larry" and I decided to be FWB, and that has had more ups and down than a rollercoaster. Granted, a lot of ups. Fundamentally, he is a good guy who doesn't know what the heck he wants out of life and is staring down the barrel of the shotgun known as turning 50. And if we're going to be perfectly honest, he's also a functional alcoholic. Last night I was asked what exactly I meant by that, a "functional alcoholic". I am not opposed to unwinding in the evening with a cocktail or two, or the occasional beer. Sometimes, I o
Read more

It's Getting Cloooooser....

...and Leo's getting laaaarrrrger!! Bonus points if you know what movie I just quoted. We are at T minus 44 hours, give or take, until the ball game.  THE ball game.  The one where me, my good friend, her boyfriend, and her son are being joined by P and his son.  "Date" #2, with an audience and offspring. In the meantime, we've continued our usual texting and such.  Sometimes it's been flirty, even "adults only."  Sometimes it's been strictly business, if you will, such as dealing with the logistics of the tickets for Saturday.  And, nothing new, I keep vacillating between convinced he's into me and convinced he's still actively keeping his options open. What I do know is that about 85% of the time when I text him, I get an immediate reply.  I don't know of anyone else who I text where the response rate is that high.  However, relationships are not built on texting alone.  Leave it to my friend to ask me, "You guys have actua
Read more