Happy 4th!
Yes, I know. It has been about 6 weeks or so since I've blogged. It isn't because there hasn't been anything happening, it's just that what has been happening hasn't been related to my love life.
When we left off, I'd posted about a brief sighting of the ex. A few days later, I was the musician at L & T's wedding ceremony. While there was a moment of panic for me there when, prior to the ceremony my friend L made a comment that I (mis)interpreted as the ex having reversed his decision to attend a different event that day, all in all it was a quiet day. I was glad that L had freely commented to me at the rehearsal dinner that she knew how hard being part of a wedding was, given where I was at the time.
So now to really catch everyone up. May 10 was the last time I heard from the ex in any way, shape, or form. Between May 10 and today, he received two emails from me -- both as part of a long list of recipients. I didn't get a reply to either one, but neither did I expect one nor did I get a reply from pretty much anyone else on the recipient lists.
During the interim, I focused on getting me back to optimum health. I decided I was ready to get back out on "the scene," and even looked into a couple different online dating sites. Then life went in a different direction.
It started with one of my fur babies, Tabitha, exhibiting symptoms of having had a stroke. Over the following 5-6 weeks, she had two more. Her health declined in a way that was excruciating to watch, and her last 3 weeks I was feeding her a liquid diet 2-3x a day with a medicine dropper and creating ways for her to be able to climb up on the furniture so she could have some independence. On the morning of June 18, she passed away in my arms.
During that time, my mother, who has suffered with chronic acute pancreatitis for over a decade, was hospitalized with C-Diff. My parents live in California, and while I have gone through numerous hospitalizations from a distance, that doesn't make any of them any easier. C-Diff is a particularly nasty intestinal virus, and it laid my mother up for two weeks.
Sick cat, sick mother a thousand miles away, juggling 3 jobs, having to carefully watch my finances... yeah, I took a break from online dating, no matter how "ready" I felt. One major reason I wanted to get back into dating is because I felt that getting back out there was going to be the only way I could finally get over the ex.
Yes, I said it. Over the past 2 months, the ex has still been haunting my thoughts, showing up unwelcome in my dreams at night, and coloring some of my decisions. Time has softened and loosened his grip on my brain, but when those random nights where my subconscious decides he needs to be the star of the B-rated movie playing in my mind, the next few days feel like a major setback.
In spite of desires, in spite of the concoctions of my imagination, I never once reached out to him. My good friends assured me he'd eventually be in touch, that I was "very hard to forget." As the days passed, I had less and less confidence in their words, and I was actually okay with that. Being summer, I've returned to reading voraciously, and one of my favorite authors would use the phrase "brief but intense affair." That is what we had, in my opinion. For some reason, it sounds better to me than ex-boyfriend of 2 whole weeks.
Tonight he texted. Just a simply 'happy 4th' text, but as the cats can attest, the first words out of my mouth when I heard his text tone were, "what the hell?!" Cynical me has determined two reasons to explain why he texted tonight. Reason 1: he's drunk. We all have those friends who have texted an ex when they were drunk, and I'd be very surprised if he's sober right now. Reason 2: the Depo.
Huh? If you don't remember the saga of the Depo, read back through the last couple dozen posts. Here's why am willing to consider the Depo as a reason: women on that drug are supposed to get their shots every 3 months. July 3 -- yesterday -- was when I was supposed to go get my next shot. I know I mentioned the date to him, and that's the kind of odd factoid he'd remember.
Or, maybe not. Maybe he's just making small overtures towards the friendship we have both said we want. And while I may seriously consider his text as "drunk texting," if it really was, I'd probably have gotten more than one. Part of me doesn't care. If I were to be asked out tomorrow by a man I found reasonably attractive, I'd take him up on it.
And part of me is pretty sure the ex will be part of my dreams tonight. All I know is, honestly and truly, I have no idea what I really think about this right now. So, I turn things over to my pal, Time, and I'll let him take care of this.
When we left off, I'd posted about a brief sighting of the ex. A few days later, I was the musician at L & T's wedding ceremony. While there was a moment of panic for me there when, prior to the ceremony my friend L made a comment that I (mis)interpreted as the ex having reversed his decision to attend a different event that day, all in all it was a quiet day. I was glad that L had freely commented to me at the rehearsal dinner that she knew how hard being part of a wedding was, given where I was at the time.
So now to really catch everyone up. May 10 was the last time I heard from the ex in any way, shape, or form. Between May 10 and today, he received two emails from me -- both as part of a long list of recipients. I didn't get a reply to either one, but neither did I expect one nor did I get a reply from pretty much anyone else on the recipient lists.
During the interim, I focused on getting me back to optimum health. I decided I was ready to get back out on "the scene," and even looked into a couple different online dating sites. Then life went in a different direction.
It started with one of my fur babies, Tabitha, exhibiting symptoms of having had a stroke. Over the following 5-6 weeks, she had two more. Her health declined in a way that was excruciating to watch, and her last 3 weeks I was feeding her a liquid diet 2-3x a day with a medicine dropper and creating ways for her to be able to climb up on the furniture so she could have some independence. On the morning of June 18, she passed away in my arms.
During that time, my mother, who has suffered with chronic acute pancreatitis for over a decade, was hospitalized with C-Diff. My parents live in California, and while I have gone through numerous hospitalizations from a distance, that doesn't make any of them any easier. C-Diff is a particularly nasty intestinal virus, and it laid my mother up for two weeks.
Sick cat, sick mother a thousand miles away, juggling 3 jobs, having to carefully watch my finances... yeah, I took a break from online dating, no matter how "ready" I felt. One major reason I wanted to get back into dating is because I felt that getting back out there was going to be the only way I could finally get over the ex.
Yes, I said it. Over the past 2 months, the ex has still been haunting my thoughts, showing up unwelcome in my dreams at night, and coloring some of my decisions. Time has softened and loosened his grip on my brain, but when those random nights where my subconscious decides he needs to be the star of the B-rated movie playing in my mind, the next few days feel like a major setback.
In spite of desires, in spite of the concoctions of my imagination, I never once reached out to him. My good friends assured me he'd eventually be in touch, that I was "very hard to forget." As the days passed, I had less and less confidence in their words, and I was actually okay with that. Being summer, I've returned to reading voraciously, and one of my favorite authors would use the phrase "brief but intense affair." That is what we had, in my opinion. For some reason, it sounds better to me than ex-boyfriend of 2 whole weeks.
Tonight he texted. Just a simply 'happy 4th' text, but as the cats can attest, the first words out of my mouth when I heard his text tone were, "what the hell?!" Cynical me has determined two reasons to explain why he texted tonight. Reason 1: he's drunk. We all have those friends who have texted an ex when they were drunk, and I'd be very surprised if he's sober right now. Reason 2: the Depo.
Huh? If you don't remember the saga of the Depo, read back through the last couple dozen posts. Here's why am willing to consider the Depo as a reason: women on that drug are supposed to get their shots every 3 months. July 3 -- yesterday -- was when I was supposed to go get my next shot. I know I mentioned the date to him, and that's the kind of odd factoid he'd remember.
Or, maybe not. Maybe he's just making small overtures towards the friendship we have both said we want. And while I may seriously consider his text as "drunk texting," if it really was, I'd probably have gotten more than one. Part of me doesn't care. If I were to be asked out tomorrow by a man I found reasonably attractive, I'd take him up on it.
And part of me is pretty sure the ex will be part of my dreams tonight. All I know is, honestly and truly, I have no idea what I really think about this right now. So, I turn things over to my pal, Time, and I'll let him take care of this.
Comments
Post a Comment
We are all adults here. Comments are welcome, but they are also moderated because there has been a marked increase in spam, trolling, and generally snarky and nasty comments being submitted. Different opinions are welcome when expressed maturely; rude comments and links will not be published.