Waiting on Number 3
It is said that things often come in threes. Celebrity deaths, for example. Or, "good things". The Holy Trinity, for the religious readers. Christians believe Jesus of Nazareth arose from the grave after three days. In numerology, the number 3 is associated with creativity and, at times youthful joy and impulsiveness. Many composers believe in certain "powers" of the keys of Eb and A -- each having 3 of their respective sharps or flats in the key signature.
So far today, I've had two. Two reminders of the past. Very unexpected ones, and not necessarily unpleasant.
The first came at 9:15 or so this morning. I was on my phone working on an email to my boss. Suddenly a text message appeared! Although my phone is quieter in this A.D. period (After D), texts aren't completely rare. However, the person texting me hadn't texted in 14 months. We hadn't otherwise communicated in at least 8 or 10.
You would have to go back practically to the beginning of this blog to read up on him. It was about 4 years ago we dated. Briefly. The breakup was unpleasant. Highlights: we fell too quickly. MUCH too quickly. I agreed to try the birth control Depo Provera. It made me certifiably crazy, a convenient little side effect the nurse practitioner failed to mention. 3 days later, he dumped me via text. It took my body 9 months to get rid of that one little evil shot.
Unlike previous text exchanges, today's was completely benign. We'd met through a mutual friend who knew we both had musical backgrounds. He has been a supporter of an ensemble I regularly perform with. He periodically forwards me one of their marketing emails, asking if I am singing or other conversational questions about the concert being advertised. Today was essentially the same thing. (The last text 14 months ago encouraged me, in explicit language, to hook up with his best friend.)
Now hindsight being usually 20/20, I know better than to think of him as anything other than a friend. Sadly, my hormones disagree. I've been officially single for 2.5 months. I haven't had sex since April. I'm happy to be free -- and I'm hor…monal. He and I were not relationship material and to this day we still are not. But, we were extremely compatible in one regard.
One of my favorite authors' main character is a woman who, over the dozens of books, has had a tumultuous relationship with another character. The books, narrated from the woman's point of view, often use the phrase "my stomach did that weird flip thing" when she thinks of the on-again, off-again lover.
Remembering those times with this ex… may or may not currently yield a similar reaction. Just saying.
Reminder number two came thanks to Facebook. Of course.
During a lull with D, during that ambiguous period where we weren't dating but we were still often intimate, I was back out on Match and I met a guy who I broke one of my cardinal rules for. Cardinal rule: if their relationship status says "separated", move on. Why I broke my rule, I don't know. But, I did.
Oh, he was so separated. He only still shared a roof with his psycho bitch soon-to-be-ex-wife for sake of the two young daughters, and because he needed to pull together the money to move out. He was sleeping on the couch. They hardly talked. They never saw each other. And once he met me, he was certain he was ready to finally file and move out. He set a date to talk to her, to tell her it was O-V-E-R. He'd suggested counseling and gone himself. She hadn't complied. He'd done everything to try to save the marriage.
Now, again, there was NO way we would've been compatible in the long run. And by "long run", I mean more than 2 or 3 months. We were politically incompatible. He thought Sarah Palin was a brilliant VP choice and good politician. I think she's a complete bimbo. Although he and I haven't talked in 18+ months, I'm sure he is voting for Donald Trump.
Like I said, politically incompatible.
We didn't make it past 3 weeks because when he finally told his wife the marriage was over, she had her epiphany and agreed to try counseling. He agreed to give the marriage another shot for sake of the girls, since she was finally complying. I resumed living by my cardinal rule.
He didn't text today. He didn't message me on Facebook, or "like" something I had posted. Instead, it was simply a notification that he had been tagged in something. That something? A post by his wife fawning over and celebrating their 15th wedding anniversary to her amazing guy. The one who cheated on her twice.
I'm glad things apparently worked out. And I don't miss him one iota. But on top of 4-years-ago-ex texting me…
Well, I wonder if there will be a #3, when it will be, and who it will be.
So far today, I've had two. Two reminders of the past. Very unexpected ones, and not necessarily unpleasant.
The first came at 9:15 or so this morning. I was on my phone working on an email to my boss. Suddenly a text message appeared! Although my phone is quieter in this A.D. period (After D), texts aren't completely rare. However, the person texting me hadn't texted in 14 months. We hadn't otherwise communicated in at least 8 or 10.
You would have to go back practically to the beginning of this blog to read up on him. It was about 4 years ago we dated. Briefly. The breakup was unpleasant. Highlights: we fell too quickly. MUCH too quickly. I agreed to try the birth control Depo Provera. It made me certifiably crazy, a convenient little side effect the nurse practitioner failed to mention. 3 days later, he dumped me via text. It took my body 9 months to get rid of that one little evil shot.
Unlike previous text exchanges, today's was completely benign. We'd met through a mutual friend who knew we both had musical backgrounds. He has been a supporter of an ensemble I regularly perform with. He periodically forwards me one of their marketing emails, asking if I am singing or other conversational questions about the concert being advertised. Today was essentially the same thing. (The last text 14 months ago encouraged me, in explicit language, to hook up with his best friend.)
Now hindsight being usually 20/20, I know better than to think of him as anything other than a friend. Sadly, my hormones disagree. I've been officially single for 2.5 months. I haven't had sex since April. I'm happy to be free -- and I'm hor…monal. He and I were not relationship material and to this day we still are not. But, we were extremely compatible in one regard.
One of my favorite authors' main character is a woman who, over the dozens of books, has had a tumultuous relationship with another character. The books, narrated from the woman's point of view, often use the phrase "my stomach did that weird flip thing" when she thinks of the on-again, off-again lover.
Remembering those times with this ex… may or may not currently yield a similar reaction. Just saying.
Reminder number two came thanks to Facebook. Of course.
During a lull with D, during that ambiguous period where we weren't dating but we were still often intimate, I was back out on Match and I met a guy who I broke one of my cardinal rules for. Cardinal rule: if their relationship status says "separated", move on. Why I broke my rule, I don't know. But, I did.
Oh, he was so separated. He only still shared a roof with his psycho bitch soon-to-be-ex-wife for sake of the two young daughters, and because he needed to pull together the money to move out. He was sleeping on the couch. They hardly talked. They never saw each other. And once he met me, he was certain he was ready to finally file and move out. He set a date to talk to her, to tell her it was O-V-E-R. He'd suggested counseling and gone himself. She hadn't complied. He'd done everything to try to save the marriage.
Now, again, there was NO way we would've been compatible in the long run. And by "long run", I mean more than 2 or 3 months. We were politically incompatible. He thought Sarah Palin was a brilliant VP choice and good politician. I think she's a complete bimbo. Although he and I haven't talked in 18+ months, I'm sure he is voting for Donald Trump.
Like I said, politically incompatible.
We didn't make it past 3 weeks because when he finally told his wife the marriage was over, she had her epiphany and agreed to try counseling. He agreed to give the marriage another shot for sake of the girls, since she was finally complying. I resumed living by my cardinal rule.
He didn't text today. He didn't message me on Facebook, or "like" something I had posted. Instead, it was simply a notification that he had been tagged in something. That something? A post by his wife fawning over and celebrating their 15th wedding anniversary to her amazing guy. The one who cheated on her twice.
I'm glad things apparently worked out. And I don't miss him one iota. But on top of 4-years-ago-ex texting me…
Well, I wonder if there will be a #3, when it will be, and who it will be.
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