Back on Match, Back to the Drama
A week ago, I renewed my Match subscription. Not really sure I'm actually ready to be back out there, but aware this is key to me getting back on track, I only signed up for a 3 month membership. After all, last time it was about 3 months in when I said "screw this" and stopped going on the site.
Like I said, it's been a week. And already I have my self ass-deep in drama. There are 3 gentlemen that I've been chatting with and have, at some point, agreed to meet. But as of this morning, that shifted. I'm going to introduce them in the order of drama, since they all came onto the scene about the same time.
First up is G. G and I had actually started chatting right around the time I met D, so we were able in many ways to pick up where we'd left off. He's a 40 year old accountant with a 4 year old daughter. He also happens to be African-American. I have no problems with interracial dating, although I've never done it. He seems like a really nice guy and we have many interests in common. So, we had set up yesterday - Sunday - to meet over coffee. All Sunday morning the weather was doing a nasty rain/wind/snow mix and after church I just wanted to go home and hibernate, not drive across town to meet someone. So I texted him asking to reschedule and he was cool with that. We texted back and forth for about an hour and a half, and that was that. We never finalized another date. As far as I'm concerned, that's up to him since I've suggested several options in my busy week.
Secondly is M. M I am very interested in. He's 43 and has 15 year old twin sons. His background is in the arts - visual art compared to my performing arts - but ultimately went into a practical career. He lives quite close to me, a bonus given my kooky schedule. We texted all afternoon and much of the evening yesterday, long after we'd set up a meet date for Tuesday evening. So far the communication seems great and the interest is equally mutual. I'm looking forward to Tuesday quite a bit.
Lastly comes the crazy drama, J, although after this morning I shall refer to him as my stalker. He's 37 and an entrepreneur, running his deceased parents' import business. He had an articulate profile, a graduate degree, and in pictures is attractive. So I replied to his initial email. After exchanging a couple Match emails, he wanted to go to regular email. This was my first warning flag. You can learn a lot about someone from an email address and a little bit of computer savvy. So I set up a completely blind email account, not linked to any other account, my Facebook, my Google account, nothing. What shows up in the inbox "from" are my initials. That in place, we started emailing. And by emailing, I mean I write normal length emails while he sends me epic epistles telling me EVERYTHING. I know way too much about him for this point. Today's chapter of War and Peace included saying how he was looking forward to making our "special friendship permanent and starting a family together."
What. The. Fuck?
So naturally I turned to my best friend D asking for his thoughts, as I was unsettled by it. Initially he thought it not something to be overly concerned about but the more we chatted he agreed it was ridiculously fast and if the tables were turned he'd drop the woman like a hot rock. He has also suggested I close the email account. I have mixed feelings about that. It seems harsh to me to shut down an account without an explanation after a guy has poured out his heart to me about how his ex-fiancée cheated on him with his friend and other deeply personal information. He left today to go out of the country on business, but said he could be reached by phone and email. So my plan, as of now, is to do this: I'm not going to reply to his email. He will probably email me again, and if he pushes it then I'll tell him I've met someone else and I'd like to see where that may go (which may or may not be true). If that causes him to flip out, then I'll close the account and block him on Match.
D thinks, and he's right, that there's no reason to be polite in the online dating game, and that I shouldn't drag anything out. Unfortunately, that's just not in my character.
So I'm just going to let this go as best as I can. I'm going to look forward to my date with M tomorrow night. I'm going to keep texting with G, who just sent me a good morning, etc. text. I'm going to keep enjoying my lazy times with D, because great friends like him don't grow on trees. And of course, I'm going to keep blogging.
Like I said, it's been a week. And already I have my self ass-deep in drama. There are 3 gentlemen that I've been chatting with and have, at some point, agreed to meet. But as of this morning, that shifted. I'm going to introduce them in the order of drama, since they all came onto the scene about the same time.
First up is G. G and I had actually started chatting right around the time I met D, so we were able in many ways to pick up where we'd left off. He's a 40 year old accountant with a 4 year old daughter. He also happens to be African-American. I have no problems with interracial dating, although I've never done it. He seems like a really nice guy and we have many interests in common. So, we had set up yesterday - Sunday - to meet over coffee. All Sunday morning the weather was doing a nasty rain/wind/snow mix and after church I just wanted to go home and hibernate, not drive across town to meet someone. So I texted him asking to reschedule and he was cool with that. We texted back and forth for about an hour and a half, and that was that. We never finalized another date. As far as I'm concerned, that's up to him since I've suggested several options in my busy week.
Secondly is M. M I am very interested in. He's 43 and has 15 year old twin sons. His background is in the arts - visual art compared to my performing arts - but ultimately went into a practical career. He lives quite close to me, a bonus given my kooky schedule. We texted all afternoon and much of the evening yesterday, long after we'd set up a meet date for Tuesday evening. So far the communication seems great and the interest is equally mutual. I'm looking forward to Tuesday quite a bit.
Lastly comes the crazy drama, J, although after this morning I shall refer to him as my stalker. He's 37 and an entrepreneur, running his deceased parents' import business. He had an articulate profile, a graduate degree, and in pictures is attractive. So I replied to his initial email. After exchanging a couple Match emails, he wanted to go to regular email. This was my first warning flag. You can learn a lot about someone from an email address and a little bit of computer savvy. So I set up a completely blind email account, not linked to any other account, my Facebook, my Google account, nothing. What shows up in the inbox "from" are my initials. That in place, we started emailing. And by emailing, I mean I write normal length emails while he sends me epic epistles telling me EVERYTHING. I know way too much about him for this point. Today's chapter of War and Peace included saying how he was looking forward to making our "special friendship permanent and starting a family together."
What. The. Fuck?
So naturally I turned to my best friend D asking for his thoughts, as I was unsettled by it. Initially he thought it not something to be overly concerned about but the more we chatted he agreed it was ridiculously fast and if the tables were turned he'd drop the woman like a hot rock. He has also suggested I close the email account. I have mixed feelings about that. It seems harsh to me to shut down an account without an explanation after a guy has poured out his heart to me about how his ex-fiancée cheated on him with his friend and other deeply personal information. He left today to go out of the country on business, but said he could be reached by phone and email. So my plan, as of now, is to do this: I'm not going to reply to his email. He will probably email me again, and if he pushes it then I'll tell him I've met someone else and I'd like to see where that may go (which may or may not be true). If that causes him to flip out, then I'll close the account and block him on Match.
D thinks, and he's right, that there's no reason to be polite in the online dating game, and that I shouldn't drag anything out. Unfortunately, that's just not in my character.
So I'm just going to let this go as best as I can. I'm going to look forward to my date with M tomorrow night. I'm going to keep texting with G, who just sent me a good morning, etc. text. I'm going to keep enjoying my lazy times with D, because great friends like him don't grow on trees. And of course, I'm going to keep blogging.
Comments
Post a Comment
We are all adults here. Comments are welcome, but they are also moderated because there has been a marked increase in spam, trolling, and generally snarky and nasty comments being submitted. Different opinions are welcome when expressed maturely; rude comments and links will not be published.