A Tale of Two Dates

Some people you just click with. Some, you don't, even though you may enjoy their company. Some people you just "get." Some, you don't, no matter how hard you try.

And thus begins the tale of two dates, a week apart.

Last weekend, I met Bachelor #I-have-no-idea-anymore for coffee. Here is how we "met" on Match:

1. I winked at him.

2. He winked back.

3. I emailed him thanking for the wink and asking about his week.

4. He replied asking for a date.

Which means prior to meeting him, what I knew about him was pretty much only what was on his profile. Normally I don't do that. I want to start to get to know someone through communication, be it via Match emails or texting. But more than once I have talked about this with my good friend, the (in)famous D. He is someone who prefers to just meet and see if there is chemistry. Knowing that not everyone is like me is why I agreed to the date.

We met for coffee at hipster mecca, chosen because of its proximity to where I thought my 4:45 social obligation was. (More on that in a moment.) The conversation was fine, nothing remarkable. I can't say he scored very many points off the bat by not offering to buy my coffee, but it is 2015. His body language said he was interested and he kept me there as long as he could. He even said he wanted to "do something with me again." I said, "sure, just text me." Overall I was ambivalent about him. 

We've texted once. And that is that.

I shall digress for a moment about my 4:45 social obligation. On Valentine's Day, as I was rapidly losing my sobriety, my ex texted. The Ex. Go back to 2013 Ex, the one who broke up with me via text and has since been wanting to reactivate his page in my little black book. He wanted to get together just to drink wine and catch up before he/we went to a mutual friend's birthday party. I declined, citing my already questionable sobriety, and in response to his "we should do something sometime" I said, "Sure, maybe next weekend."

He actually followed up on that. I agreed to go to a movie with him. His selection? "Fifty Shades of Gray." True story. 

We met at the theater. Our greeting was sufficiently awkward, as was the brief conversation prior to the movie. The movie was its own event, and afterwards we bid each other a lovely evening. He followed up with an appropriate text and we've left it open-ended as to doing something again in the future. No reason we can't be friends.

I am very pleased to report that I have ZERO attraction to him. Absolutely none. I found myself questioning what I ever saw in him in the first place. Which makes him that much easier to continue to turn down.

But now, the important information you have all been waiting for. The story behind yesterday's date. *cue dramatic music*

This gentleman I believe I winked at on Match a little while ago. No response, and that's life on Match. Then a little over a week ago he commented on one of my pictures, which is sent to me as an email. He asked a question, so I responded, and thus the conversation started. Which quickly progressed to texting. And texting. And more texting. 

Finally we found a window for a coffee date. We squeezed it in between one of my Zumba classes and his needing to take his daughters to man (woman?) a Girl Scout cookie booth. I suggested a local indie coffee shop, and then he started really racking up the points. The communication had been really great and we were both looking forward to the date. I was concerned about getting there at the appointed time because I needed to shower and it would be snowing.

His answer to that was to 1. take my time, and 2. text him my coffee order when I was headed that way so he could have it ready for me. Yep, big points. But wait - it gets even better.

Saturday morning we are texting, and one thing leads to another and I mention that after my class I'll be starving - but that coffee would be just fine and I could get something later. His reply to that was to let him know what I would want, like a scone or something. More points. But wait!

He arrived at the coffee place earlier than the agreed upon time. He took a picture of their baked goods and sent it to me so I could choose. He then took a picture of their sandwich menu board and offered me that. I said I'd only do that if he was eating, too. He was. A mere moment or two before I pulled into the parking lot, he sent me a picture of our little table with our sandwiches and drinks on it.

Yeah, major points.

But what is much more important than having coffee or sandwiches ready for me is that our communication had been really solid. I felt comfortable with him long before we met, and he with me. Our date didn't have any of that awkwardness because it was like sitting down to lunch with an old friend. We stayed longer than we were supposed to, and not even 5 minutes after parting ways we were texting.

Now that everyone is all happy for me, here's his "vitals," if you will. He's 46, 6 feet tall, with silver/grey hair and brown eyes. Normal, average body (perfect for me and my taste). He works in sales so he's on the road a bit, but he also works from home so he has a certain amount of flexibility and ability to text and such during the day. And we have almost eerily similar tastes in many, many things.

But of course no one is perfect. He's divorced, of course, and... he's currently separated from his second wife. I was not his first date post-separation, and he's been very, very open and upfront about where that marriage is. That marriage is over, period, but there are steps people have to go through to be able to dissolve a marriage. 

All in all, if that's the worst of it I can live with that. Reconciliation and such is NOT on the table for his marriage. He's done with her and it, but doing what has to be done for sake of his daughters. He's a fundamentally great guy. He's intelligent, funny, good looking. I can't help it, I'm attracted and intrigued, and he feels that way about me. So we shall see where it goes from here. We're both trying to keep it moving slow. He'll be out of town this week on business, which is ultimately a good thing for us. We've agreed we're doing "something" next weekend when he's back.

As usual, stay tuned...