Is That Writing I See on the Wall?
It's a lovely spring evening. I'm sitting out on my balcony, swathed in my Snuggie because there's still the slight chill in the air that comes as winter slowly concedes to the new season. Obviously my laptop is on my lap, and over the rooftops in front of me I can see beautiful pinks and greys of the setting sun.
I also have tears silently streaming down my face.
When I last blogged, I was all upset over how things had seemed to change. I wish I could say that things have gotten better, but they have not. There has been practically no flirting whatsoever. No funny pictures sent to me, almost no simple "good morning" or "good night" texts. Today, in spite of me texting him twice, I have not heard from him.
He's had time to play several rounds of Trivia Crack, though.
Two night ago we got into a political discussion via text. Now there are two key things to remember about he and me, and politics. First, we are not of the same party. Secondly, I believe in discussion, and he believes in trying to convert people to his view. He's known from the first read of my profile that I'm a liberal. Things got interesting, sending back tit-for-tat articles on Obama's fiscal leadership and the National Debt. I about lost it when he asked me, in all seriousness, why I didn't like Sarah Palin, and why I didn't think she was a good role model to show women what they could be.
The next morning, tongue partly in cheek, I asked him how many points I'd lost with him. His reply was "still assessing;)". He said he was thinking of ways for me to "make up the points." His final decision? Would it be me making or paying for dinner? Wine? Something else?
Nope. He wants a political debate. All subjects are fair game. I finally agreed, and we exchanged a couple "insults," such as him calling me a DINO (democrat in name only). I said "just let me know when and where" and wouldn't you know, I have yet to hear from him. In fact, he hasn't replied to my last 5 texts, spread out over more than 24 hours.
I just don't know what the fuck to do anymore.
I'm hurt. I'm sad. I feel used. He insisted he wasn't looking for a ONS, but it's seeming to be that is what I have become and he's just wussing out of ending ... whatever this was. I can't help but question myself: was I not "good enough?" Was there something in my home, my domestic abilities, he found lacking? Hey, I'll admit housekeeping is not my strongest suit, but things are neat, clean, vacuumed, etc.
I just can't understand, since I've gotten no explanation, why after what both of us said was a very enjoyable evening, things have changed so much. I wouldn't be surprised if he's met another woman, even as busy as his schedule is. He's made no attempt to set up time to see me again, let alone even communicate.
I need to walk away. I need to let it go. My Match profile is hidden, and it will probably stay that way. I just can't take this anymore, not right now. Too much rejection, too many rides on the emotional roller coaster.
I give up. I just need to stop. I guess I'll focus on the craziness at work and my approaching move, and men can just ... I don't know, leave me alone or whatever, since that's what they are wont to do anyway.
Too bad my new apartment has a two pet limit. #crazycatlady
I also have tears silently streaming down my face.
When I last blogged, I was all upset over how things had seemed to change. I wish I could say that things have gotten better, but they have not. There has been practically no flirting whatsoever. No funny pictures sent to me, almost no simple "good morning" or "good night" texts. Today, in spite of me texting him twice, I have not heard from him.
He's had time to play several rounds of Trivia Crack, though.
Two night ago we got into a political discussion via text. Now there are two key things to remember about he and me, and politics. First, we are not of the same party. Secondly, I believe in discussion, and he believes in trying to convert people to his view. He's known from the first read of my profile that I'm a liberal. Things got interesting, sending back tit-for-tat articles on Obama's fiscal leadership and the National Debt. I about lost it when he asked me, in all seriousness, why I didn't like Sarah Palin, and why I didn't think she was a good role model to show women what they could be.
The next morning, tongue partly in cheek, I asked him how many points I'd lost with him. His reply was "still assessing;)". He said he was thinking of ways for me to "make up the points." His final decision? Would it be me making or paying for dinner? Wine? Something else?
Nope. He wants a political debate. All subjects are fair game. I finally agreed, and we exchanged a couple "insults," such as him calling me a DINO (democrat in name only). I said "just let me know when and where" and wouldn't you know, I have yet to hear from him. In fact, he hasn't replied to my last 5 texts, spread out over more than 24 hours.
I just don't know what the fuck to do anymore.
I'm hurt. I'm sad. I feel used. He insisted he wasn't looking for a ONS, but it's seeming to be that is what I have become and he's just wussing out of ending ... whatever this was. I can't help but question myself: was I not "good enough?" Was there something in my home, my domestic abilities, he found lacking? Hey, I'll admit housekeeping is not my strongest suit, but things are neat, clean, vacuumed, etc.
I just can't understand, since I've gotten no explanation, why after what both of us said was a very enjoyable evening, things have changed so much. I wouldn't be surprised if he's met another woman, even as busy as his schedule is. He's made no attempt to set up time to see me again, let alone even communicate.
I need to walk away. I need to let it go. My Match profile is hidden, and it will probably stay that way. I just can't take this anymore, not right now. Too much rejection, too many rides on the emotional roller coaster.
I give up. I just need to stop. I guess I'll focus on the craziness at work and my approaching move, and men can just ... I don't know, leave me alone or whatever, since that's what they are wont to do anyway.
Too bad my new apartment has a two pet limit. #crazycatlady
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