A Final Post For a While

When I started this blog over 6 years ago, I did it because I had joined Match, gotten a date, and the date was such an epic and hilarious failure and so many people wanted to hear the story that I found started a blog was the best way to disseminate information. Over the years I’ve shared some very personal things here, and quite a few funny stories. I’ve had trolls comment and threaten to “tell my church leaders” that I was having sex outside of marriage, claiming they would “get [me] fired” and calling me all sorts of uncouth names. I’ve run this blog behind a veil of secrecy, never naming the men I’ve dated or sharing information about them that could get them identified in real life.

What I didn’t anticipate was a loss of a certain amount of privacy from my friends.

I’m guilty of sometimes over sharing, both here on the blog and on social media. But oversharing doesn’t equate an automatic right to be able to pass judgment on my life choices. I understand my friends are concerned and are only wanting me to be happy. I am dating a military man who, by the nature of his job and rank, keeps much of his personal life extremely private. By extension, I have not been sharing the details of our relationship. Or, even many of the “big” or “common” things.

I’m writing this post not to vent any anger towards those who have questioned my choices. I am writing this post to assure you that, when it comes to this long-distance relationship, I have from the start done the following:

1. Run him through 2 extensive membership-only data-mining websites. I have his full name, birthdate, email addresses, phone number, and address.

2. Done reverse Google image searches on the pictures (the MANY pictures) he has sent me.

3. Talked with trusted friends who are either military or military spouses/girlfriends/boyfriends about the circumstances surrounding his deployment and the timeline.

All three of these things have thoroughly checked out. I have no reason to believe he is anything other than who and what he says he is. Under President Obama, the number of troops deployed to war zones was steadily decreasing. Under the new administration, they have been increasing rapidly. As of December 2017 — almost a year ago — troops abroad in war zones had increased by almost 20,000. Given his rank (verified) the sudden and rapid timeline, as well as the unexpected change in his mission, secrecy is part of the package. I’m not allowed to know where he is or what he is doing. In the blink of an eye, we’ve gone from literally hundreds of texts and phone calls a day to silence. I don’t know how long he’ll be gone.

To answer the question most people seem concerned about, no, we have not yet met. We were actively making plans for that to happen. We were looking at schedules and air fares. And within the span of 72 hours, his orders went from “deployment soon, within the month” to “possibly this week” to “going to DC tomorrow for training” to “we leave today”. Obviously, that put all of our plans on hold.

His priorities are 1. God, 2. Family, and 3. Job. One of the first questions he asked me was if I was a Christian. God is central and primary to our relationship. This would not be what it is without that element.

The bottom line is, I understand where my concerned friends are coming from. But at the same time, there are many reasons I haven’t been filling this little corner of the internet with all the juicy details. I’ve been pretty vague on social media. I find it ironic that some of these same friends have kept their own relationships secret for a long time, yet they find it appropriate to publicly question me. (That sentence is not intended to shame anyone.)

Right now, my life is in a stage of upheaval. I had career questions plaguing me long before this happened. I was anticipating change and praying to God for guidance. And I continue to pray for that, and ask the same of my friends who are also of the praying type. If you aren’t, whatever light or clarifying energy you can send my way would be greatly appreciated.

And regardless of what you think about our military and the various wars we are involved in, there are tens of thousands of men and women who are putting their lives on the line simply because our government has asked it and they love our country so much. They deserve our respect and our prayers. 

This will be the last blog post for a long time. It’s time for me to keep my personal life personal and private. Peace and love to all of you who have faithfully read this.