It's Official
I am now officially in a relationship with the Tinder guy that I initially cancelled on. We've both deleted our Tinder, and I also ended my Match subscription. The first "I love you"s have been exchanged -- and for the record, he said it first.
It's only been a week since we actually met, but what a hell of a week. When something is right, it's just right. We've shared things about ourselves with each other that literally only the fewest of other people know. Deep things about our pasts. The baggage each of us brings from previous relationships and life circumstances. We know what we're getting into with the other person.
To us, it feels like it's been longer than a week -- in a good way. I'm definitely not used to sharing my space with another person, but it feels very natural to have him here. We didn't even have to talk about what side of the bed each of us prefers, because it just happens that we each prefer a different side. He loves cats, and Zen loves him. Delilah is still being a chicken when he's around, but she's let him pet her a couple of times.
The newest thing for me, though, is that he is mixed race. At first read, that might come across unintentionally racist, but let me explain. I'm a liberal. I teach in an urban core school district. I deal with all races and the issues around them on a daily basis. But to be in relationship with someone who lives the stories we read about in the paper, all those times where we hear about people of color being targeted for doing every day normal things... that is part of my new reality. I know none of my friends are going to judge me (or him) for dating someone "outside our race" (and if they do, they can go f*ck themselves). My parents have said the only things they care about are 1. if he's a Christian (he is) and 2. how he treats me.
He's met some of my closest friends from school and survived playing games with them. My friends at my other jobs say I have to bring him around for inspection. Hey, after the stalker, I don't blame them. But trust me, he's one of the good ones. How I managed to find him astounds me. Well, actually, he found me. On Tinder. And I almost let him get away.
I'm glad I didn't. He says he's in this for the long haul. And so am I.
It's only been a week since we actually met, but what a hell of a week. When something is right, it's just right. We've shared things about ourselves with each other that literally only the fewest of other people know. Deep things about our pasts. The baggage each of us brings from previous relationships and life circumstances. We know what we're getting into with the other person.
To us, it feels like it's been longer than a week -- in a good way. I'm definitely not used to sharing my space with another person, but it feels very natural to have him here. We didn't even have to talk about what side of the bed each of us prefers, because it just happens that we each prefer a different side. He loves cats, and Zen loves him. Delilah is still being a chicken when he's around, but she's let him pet her a couple of times.
The newest thing for me, though, is that he is mixed race. At first read, that might come across unintentionally racist, but let me explain. I'm a liberal. I teach in an urban core school district. I deal with all races and the issues around them on a daily basis. But to be in relationship with someone who lives the stories we read about in the paper, all those times where we hear about people of color being targeted for doing every day normal things... that is part of my new reality. I know none of my friends are going to judge me (or him) for dating someone "outside our race" (and if they do, they can go f*ck themselves). My parents have said the only things they care about are 1. if he's a Christian (he is) and 2. how he treats me.
He's met some of my closest friends from school and survived playing games with them. My friends at my other jobs say I have to bring him around for inspection. Hey, after the stalker, I don't blame them. But trust me, he's one of the good ones. How I managed to find him astounds me. Well, actually, he found me. On Tinder. And I almost let him get away.
I'm glad I didn't. He says he's in this for the long haul. And so am I.
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