Why Am I Surprised?
So I'm currently at work and completely unable to focus. Part of me wants to blame it on the fact that not quite two hours ago I went and got a Trenta iced coffee with two shots from Starbucks, but I know that's not the case. I've gotten some work done, just not nearly what I'd planned to accomplish today. Why? Because my brain -- and my heart -- is very confused right now.
Last week (yikes, was it really just last week?) I cancelled a date with a very nice guy I'd met on Tinder in order to go on a date with a guy I'd met on Match who I thought was a better, well, match. That first date went great, and we set up a second. Tinder guy got mad that I had cancelled, and I figured that was that with him. (This is T4 from the first Tinder blog post, if you're playing the home game.)
You would think by now, after doing this on and off for over 6 years, that nothing would surprise me anymore.
Ha.
Match date #2 started off great, or so I thought, and ended awkwardly. There's been almost no follow-up communication. I don't quite know where it went off the rails, but it did. I guess it wasn't meant to be, so I'm cutting my losses and moving forward. He's a great guy and we're still friends and I hope there's a great woman out there that's right for him because he deserves it.
Meanwhile, Tinder guy reached out again to apologize for his reaction to my cancelling our date. I found that surprising, and agreed to give him a second shot. We agreed to meet for lunch today. Casual, friendly, slightly open-ended in that I had to go to work but not at a set time. Perfect.
First surprise upon walking in was that he was much more attractive in person than in his pictures, which was a relief. I admit, I had mixed feelings about this one. It was his day off, yet he'd taken the time to make sure he looked sharp -- dress shirt, slacks, tie. And he was nervous, which was cute. Call me cynical or jaded, but I don't get very nervous anymore for first dates. They are what they are. But apparently he doesn't go out on many first dates, which surprises me.
Then again, I'm continuing to learn that Tinder is very much a ladies' choice market, at least in the hetero area. He didn't really believe me when I told him how many "likes" I'd accumulated on Tinder until I showed him.
There was definitely chemistry. Most definitely chemistry. And he's thinks I'm "beautiful" and "a hottie", which is not usually what I get. Usually I'm told I'm "cute". Like a stuffed animal, a kitten, a baby chick... small, chubby, fluffy, slightly awkward but adorable. Not quite the persona I'm going for, but... And, he's now the second serious date that has told me I'm more beautiful in person than in my pictures.
So will there be a second date? Does meeting up for a drink later the same day as the first date count as a second date?
But right now you're probably saying, "Why are you confused? Everything seems clear! Match guy is gone. Tinder guy is on!" Well, there's two Tinder guys. And both are looking for serious relationships, not Tinder hook-ups. (Welcome to the party, T5!)
The other Tinder guy is out of town on business until Christmas (he's in construction and is on a long-term project). So we text regularly. In fact, he is texting me as I'm writing this blog and I had to scold him for texting and driving. We've exchanged pictures (but not any that could get me blackmailed). He's hot and aligns with what I'm looking for, probably more so than today's Tinder guy. But maybe I don't really know what I'm looking for anymore. I think I find a great guy who's "right" for me, and things fizzle.
I feel like today's Tinder guy could really be relationship material. But, I also really want to meet the other Tinder guy, and he won't be back in KC until Christmas.
Good Lord above, when did my life become a soap opera? In the span of less than two weeks, I've been catfished by someone who is STILL contacting me and claiming he's madly in love with me, met a great guy and lost him, and met another great guy while also talking with a third great guy. And I've hung out with a couple other Tinder guys who aren't looking for relationships (one of which calls me every day around 10:30, even though I keep telling him my lunch doesn't start until after 11:00).
At least I'll always have my cats...
Last week (yikes, was it really just last week?) I cancelled a date with a very nice guy I'd met on Tinder in order to go on a date with a guy I'd met on Match who I thought was a better, well, match. That first date went great, and we set up a second. Tinder guy got mad that I had cancelled, and I figured that was that with him. (This is T4 from the first Tinder blog post, if you're playing the home game.)
You would think by now, after doing this on and off for over 6 years, that nothing would surprise me anymore.
Ha.
Match date #2 started off great, or so I thought, and ended awkwardly. There's been almost no follow-up communication. I don't quite know where it went off the rails, but it did. I guess it wasn't meant to be, so I'm cutting my losses and moving forward. He's a great guy and we're still friends and I hope there's a great woman out there that's right for him because he deserves it.
Meanwhile, Tinder guy reached out again to apologize for his reaction to my cancelling our date. I found that surprising, and agreed to give him a second shot. We agreed to meet for lunch today. Casual, friendly, slightly open-ended in that I had to go to work but not at a set time. Perfect.
First surprise upon walking in was that he was much more attractive in person than in his pictures, which was a relief. I admit, I had mixed feelings about this one. It was his day off, yet he'd taken the time to make sure he looked sharp -- dress shirt, slacks, tie. And he was nervous, which was cute. Call me cynical or jaded, but I don't get very nervous anymore for first dates. They are what they are. But apparently he doesn't go out on many first dates, which surprises me.
Then again, I'm continuing to learn that Tinder is very much a ladies' choice market, at least in the hetero area. He didn't really believe me when I told him how many "likes" I'd accumulated on Tinder until I showed him.
There was definitely chemistry. Most definitely chemistry. And he's thinks I'm "beautiful" and "a hottie", which is not usually what I get. Usually I'm told I'm "cute". Like a stuffed animal, a kitten, a baby chick... small, chubby, fluffy, slightly awkward but adorable. Not quite the persona I'm going for, but... And, he's now the second serious date that has told me I'm more beautiful in person than in my pictures.
So will there be a second date? Does meeting up for a drink later the same day as the first date count as a second date?
But right now you're probably saying, "Why are you confused? Everything seems clear! Match guy is gone. Tinder guy is on!" Well, there's two Tinder guys. And both are looking for serious relationships, not Tinder hook-ups. (Welcome to the party, T5!)
The other Tinder guy is out of town on business until Christmas (he's in construction and is on a long-term project). So we text regularly. In fact, he is texting me as I'm writing this blog and I had to scold him for texting and driving. We've exchanged pictures (but not any that could get me blackmailed). He's hot and aligns with what I'm looking for, probably more so than today's Tinder guy. But maybe I don't really know what I'm looking for anymore. I think I find a great guy who's "right" for me, and things fizzle.
I feel like today's Tinder guy could really be relationship material. But, I also really want to meet the other Tinder guy, and he won't be back in KC until Christmas.
Good Lord above, when did my life become a soap opera? In the span of less than two weeks, I've been catfished by someone who is STILL contacting me and claiming he's madly in love with me, met a great guy and lost him, and met another great guy while also talking with a third great guy. And I've hung out with a couple other Tinder guys who aren't looking for relationships (one of which calls me every day around 10:30, even though I keep telling him my lunch doesn't start until after 11:00).
At least I'll always have my cats...
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