Like Sands Through the Hourglass...
Welcome back, friendly readers! Time for another installment in this craziness that is my fledgling love life.
Don't get your hopes up -- I haven't been on another date. Which is fine. The biggest excitement of my day came when I smashed my finger between a couple of 15 pound free-weights at the gym today. But that isn't to say there haven't been other goings-on.
First, let's introduce Bachelors #3 and #4. Bachelor #3 is a 42 year old flight nurse working on a graduate degree. I've actually been chatting with him as long as I have Bachelor #2, but #3 has yet to actually ask me out in spite of broad hints being dropped by yours truly. (It is times like this that I have to remember that men typically need things spelled out clearly. Sometimes, even written out on a 2x4. Which is then applied with great force to the head.) Bachelor #4 is very new to the roster, as we have only exchanged a couple of "emails" via the dating website. He's actually younger than me (gasp!) and what I know so far comes solely from his profile. He's from Greece.
And he's a non-drinking conservative.
Already I can tell you that one is destined for excellence. I know this, just like I know for certain that indeed some random person in South Africa left me a very large sum of money in British pounds, and it will be deposited in my account as soon as I turn over all my financial information.
But back to our story.
Monday was very quiet. I didn't hear from anyone, which was perfectly fine with me. After teaching an aerobics class at the ungodly hour of 5:40 a.m., I was content to have a day where I scrubbed my kitchen, did 3 loads of dishes, and read 2.5 novels. After my 4 hour, post-gym power nap, of course.
Now we come to Tuesday. Bachelor #3 and I have been texting. Although he has yet to actually ask me out, he has expressed jovial displeasure at my other dates. This was further underscored when we had a conversation Tuesday evening and I revealed that Bachelor #2 has asked me out for a second date. When I assured him that I wasn't feeling any "chemistry" at this point, he was clearly relieved. He even said, "Whew! You had me scared there for a moment!" Still, Bachelor #3 remains... reticent, perhaps. At some point I may have to push the issue, the proverbial "shit or get off the pot."
Now this morning, shortly after my alarm went off, I got a text message from Bachelor #2. First of all, very few people can text me early in the morning and not have me be annoyed. Secondly, even fewer of those people can get away with calling me "sunshine." I chose to wait until after I'd had at least one large cup of coffee before responding. Other than the early hour and the cutesy moniker, though, it was a very standard "hope you have a great day" text. I replied in kind, but with fewer exclamation points.
Here is where I need to try to explain why I'm increasingly running cool on #2. I've had time to decompress and analyze our date some more. What I remember is that he tried very hard to impress, telling me about the great concerts he's been to, sporting events, fun things he's done since moving to KC. He'd ask me a question, but then not wait, really, for an answer. For example, he asked me what was the last concert I had attended. In the 20 seconds while I tried to go through my brain (because the last concert would've been classical and featuring some of my friends), he launched into a list of concerts he's attended in the past 9 months. He never asked again for an answer to my question. He asked about my church gig, and started into a spiel about how great his church was, had I ever attended there, etc. He thought I'd be all impressed that he drove a hybrid car until I told him I drive a Prius, and yet he kept trying to show me why his hybrid Chevrolet was the coolest thing ever, like I didn't know what happened when a hybrid car was running.
What I keep remembering -- and perhaps I'm misremembering -- is that it seemed he was shopping for someone who was interested in joining his life, not in someone who would merge lives. When we were comparing experiences on a different dating website, I made a couple of comments about how being in a relationship with someone was also about adapting and being flexible. He didn't disagree -- but he also didn't really agree either.
Hmmm.
My life isn't perfect, but I'm certainly happy. I make it clear in my own profile that I'm looking for someone to be an equal. I'm not going to give up all that I love just because some guy thinks I should attend his church or do his workout routine. Maybe I'm set in my ways. Then again, I watch my friends who are happily in relationships and I see how they have been successful at both sharing their lives and yet continuing to live their own. I know it is possible, and I just have to meet the right guy. Heck, I've only been a member of this site for 3 weeks and 1 day.
Did I mention Bachelor #5? :-)
Don't get your hopes up -- I haven't been on another date. Which is fine. The biggest excitement of my day came when I smashed my finger between a couple of 15 pound free-weights at the gym today. But that isn't to say there haven't been other goings-on.
First, let's introduce Bachelors #3 and #4. Bachelor #3 is a 42 year old flight nurse working on a graduate degree. I've actually been chatting with him as long as I have Bachelor #2, but #3 has yet to actually ask me out in spite of broad hints being dropped by yours truly. (It is times like this that I have to remember that men typically need things spelled out clearly. Sometimes, even written out on a 2x4. Which is then applied with great force to the head.) Bachelor #4 is very new to the roster, as we have only exchanged a couple of "emails" via the dating website. He's actually younger than me (gasp!) and what I know so far comes solely from his profile. He's from Greece.
And he's a non-drinking conservative.
Already I can tell you that one is destined for excellence. I know this, just like I know for certain that indeed some random person in South Africa left me a very large sum of money in British pounds, and it will be deposited in my account as soon as I turn over all my financial information.
But back to our story.
Monday was very quiet. I didn't hear from anyone, which was perfectly fine with me. After teaching an aerobics class at the ungodly hour of 5:40 a.m., I was content to have a day where I scrubbed my kitchen, did 3 loads of dishes, and read 2.5 novels. After my 4 hour, post-gym power nap, of course.
Now we come to Tuesday. Bachelor #3 and I have been texting. Although he has yet to actually ask me out, he has expressed jovial displeasure at my other dates. This was further underscored when we had a conversation Tuesday evening and I revealed that Bachelor #2 has asked me out for a second date. When I assured him that I wasn't feeling any "chemistry" at this point, he was clearly relieved. He even said, "Whew! You had me scared there for a moment!" Still, Bachelor #3 remains... reticent, perhaps. At some point I may have to push the issue, the proverbial "shit or get off the pot."
Now this morning, shortly after my alarm went off, I got a text message from Bachelor #2. First of all, very few people can text me early in the morning and not have me be annoyed. Secondly, even fewer of those people can get away with calling me "sunshine." I chose to wait until after I'd had at least one large cup of coffee before responding. Other than the early hour and the cutesy moniker, though, it was a very standard "hope you have a great day" text. I replied in kind, but with fewer exclamation points.
Here is where I need to try to explain why I'm increasingly running cool on #2. I've had time to decompress and analyze our date some more. What I remember is that he tried very hard to impress, telling me about the great concerts he's been to, sporting events, fun things he's done since moving to KC. He'd ask me a question, but then not wait, really, for an answer. For example, he asked me what was the last concert I had attended. In the 20 seconds while I tried to go through my brain (because the last concert would've been classical and featuring some of my friends), he launched into a list of concerts he's attended in the past 9 months. He never asked again for an answer to my question. He asked about my church gig, and started into a spiel about how great his church was, had I ever attended there, etc. He thought I'd be all impressed that he drove a hybrid car until I told him I drive a Prius, and yet he kept trying to show me why his hybrid Chevrolet was the coolest thing ever, like I didn't know what happened when a hybrid car was running.
What I keep remembering -- and perhaps I'm misremembering -- is that it seemed he was shopping for someone who was interested in joining his life, not in someone who would merge lives. When we were comparing experiences on a different dating website, I made a couple of comments about how being in a relationship with someone was also about adapting and being flexible. He didn't disagree -- but he also didn't really agree either.
Hmmm.
My life isn't perfect, but I'm certainly happy. I make it clear in my own profile that I'm looking for someone to be an equal. I'm not going to give up all that I love just because some guy thinks I should attend his church or do his workout routine. Maybe I'm set in my ways. Then again, I watch my friends who are happily in relationships and I see how they have been successful at both sharing their lives and yet continuing to live their own. I know it is possible, and I just have to meet the right guy. Heck, I've only been a member of this site for 3 weeks and 1 day.
Did I mention Bachelor #5? :-)
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