Technology & Relationships (a.k.a., How #2 Came to an End)
It's no big secret that I took myself off the dating scene for a long time. I always had a valid -- at least to me -- reason. I was in grad school. Relationships during a grueling degree are difficult, if not impossible. I'd be moving soon after graduation for a job, and was it fair to someone to get in a relationship only to ask them to move? I could rationalize just about anything.
The last time I was really dating someone was when AIM was a big deal. Yep, I just seriously dated myself there. We'd chat for hours on AIM, even after a date. This was before phones could download your email. This was before polyphonic ringtones. This was before text messaging.
Which brings us to how Bachelor #2 and I came to an end, so to say. Late Saturday night as he was leaving the show I was supposed to attend with him, he texted me, asking if I needed anything. Honestly, it was probably the first outwardly considerate thing he'd done. But let's face it, at 11:15 at night, even if I did need something, I'm not about to give out my home address to a guy I've met once and whose last name I don't even know.
A few minutes later, he texted again with the question, "Do I have a chance with you?"
Now 11:20 at night isn't necessarily my best time, at least not when I'm working days. My alarm was going to start going off in less than 6 hours. I knew I had three options.
1. Ignore the text and deal with it later.
2. Reply, with some comment about the hour, my early alarm, that I was asleep when he texted, blah blah blah.
3. Be honest and just get the stinking thing over with.
In spite of my increasing passive-aggressive tendencies that normally would have me choosing options 1 or 2, I went with 3. My reply went like this:
"To be honest, there is another guy I'm more interested in. He has nothing to do with tonight, though. Sorry. You're a nice guy and the right woman will be very lucky once she meets you."
He replied that he understood, that it was a pleasure to have met me, and if my circumstances changed -- if I "needed a friend" -- I could always call him. I let him know that the reciprocal was also (basically) true. Really, there's no need to burn a bridge here. We weren't a compatible match, end of story, no matter how attracted he was to me.
Although we certainly weren't in a "relationship," I feel like I dumped the guy via text message. Then again, that was the story of our "relationship" -- emails and text messages. Gotta love dating in the 21st Century!
The last time I was really dating someone was when AIM was a big deal. Yep, I just seriously dated myself there. We'd chat for hours on AIM, even after a date. This was before phones could download your email. This was before polyphonic ringtones. This was before text messaging.
Which brings us to how Bachelor #2 and I came to an end, so to say. Late Saturday night as he was leaving the show I was supposed to attend with him, he texted me, asking if I needed anything. Honestly, it was probably the first outwardly considerate thing he'd done. But let's face it, at 11:15 at night, even if I did need something, I'm not about to give out my home address to a guy I've met once and whose last name I don't even know.
A few minutes later, he texted again with the question, "Do I have a chance with you?"
Now 11:20 at night isn't necessarily my best time, at least not when I'm working days. My alarm was going to start going off in less than 6 hours. I knew I had three options.
1. Ignore the text and deal with it later.
2. Reply, with some comment about the hour, my early alarm, that I was asleep when he texted, blah blah blah.
3. Be honest and just get the stinking thing over with.
In spite of my increasing passive-aggressive tendencies that normally would have me choosing options 1 or 2, I went with 3. My reply went like this:
"To be honest, there is another guy I'm more interested in. He has nothing to do with tonight, though. Sorry. You're a nice guy and the right woman will be very lucky once she meets you."
He replied that he understood, that it was a pleasure to have met me, and if my circumstances changed -- if I "needed a friend" -- I could always call him. I let him know that the reciprocal was also (basically) true. Really, there's no need to burn a bridge here. We weren't a compatible match, end of story, no matter how attracted he was to me.
Although we certainly weren't in a "relationship," I feel like I dumped the guy via text message. Then again, that was the story of our "relationship" -- emails and text messages. Gotta love dating in the 21st Century!
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