Happy New Year!
I haven't made any resolutions for the New Year. The past few years I haven't, and it hasn't been because I don't think I need to change or improve. It's been because those processes have already been in motion, save one: finding a boyfriend. I didn't make that a resolution last year, nor when January 1, 2012 rolled around did I say, "This is the year I get back on the dating horse!"
Frankly, most resolutions are either almost impossible or, at the least, very difficult. What little of the "Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve" I watched (Jenny McCarthy, you are NOT funny, and Fergie, you are hosting a family friendly national TV program, not shooting a porno, you don't need to "make love to the camera") included their poll of the top 5 resolutions. They included the to-be-expected ones of lose weight, be better with money... and, somewhat to my surprise, "to fall in love."
That's easier said than done. And how can you break that resolution? Oh, look, I'm falling in love -- NO! MUST STOP NOW! But really, falling in love isn't something that you can just "do" as if you were going to the grocery store. Wouldn't that be nice, walking down the aisle of WalMart or Kroger or HyVee or Save Mart or Publix (gotta cover all my geographical haunts!) and eggs, check... cheese, check... bread, check... milk, check... fall in love, check... toilet paper, check...
I was off the market for a very long time. I didn't realize, though, how many of my friends were, at some level, concerned about my lack of dating until one little Facebook status posting back in May. All it said was, "So, I have a date tonight, NBD." (NBD stands for "no big deal," for those who aren't text savvy.) I think that status hit 50 "likes," making it perhaps my most popular status ever. After that date, which was the infamous first Match date with T, I started being inundated with friends wanting to know how my dating was going. Ergo, I started this blog, which has gone from journal to therapy and everywhere in between.
Lately I have learned that I am not alone. Particularly this past week I have heard from friends that I've known for years -- I won't say how many -- only to learn they are having the same dating experiences that I am. The drama, the uncertainty, the guys who appear and disappear (one of my friends calls those "shark attacks," where they suddenly show up and then disappear, only to reappear later), the confusion, the ups and downs of singles sex, we are not alone. It's comforting to know what I'm experiencing is "normal," as sad of a thought as that may be. It's also encouraging to know that, in some small way, I'm helping to support and encourage other women in similar situations to me.
But speaking of "being alone..." now I finally get to the juicy, drama part that you were hoping for. (Hey, I know how many of you 'live vicariously' through me via this blog!) J3, "the kid," came over tonight to "hang out." Yeah, right, "hang out." You all know what happened, but let me say that the advice articles I've read about sex during ... "shark week"... are full of crap. My body had lied to me, telling me it was done, so we went there. Nope, I wasn't. Unless you are really into messy situations, don't do it. Just trust me on this one.
Fortunately, that's the only mess of the situation at the moment. I can honestly say I feel very little emotional attraction to him. There's no desire to be more than what we are. I don't yearn to spend time with him, to text him or call him about the little things in life. And so far, we are pretty darn compatible, sexually. We've compared some notes on favorite positions, etc., and all is good for us to happily be "FWB." Well, okay, maybe not really FWB, for as I told another friend, we'll see if we actually do anything that friends would do, or if we just get together for sex. I suspect it'll be the latter, and that's fine. As my dear yenta said, this situation is really pretty perfect for me. I get my needs taken care of (and given how long I was off the market, I have a lot of needs!) and it will allow me to be more patient as I continue my search for a gentleman more worthy of a LTR.
Maybe I should resolve to "have more sex." So far, that seems like a resolution I'll be able to keep... knock on wood... (heh heh, wood...)
Frankly, most resolutions are either almost impossible or, at the least, very difficult. What little of the "Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve" I watched (Jenny McCarthy, you are NOT funny, and Fergie, you are hosting a family friendly national TV program, not shooting a porno, you don't need to "make love to the camera") included their poll of the top 5 resolutions. They included the to-be-expected ones of lose weight, be better with money... and, somewhat to my surprise, "to fall in love."
That's easier said than done. And how can you break that resolution? Oh, look, I'm falling in love -- NO! MUST STOP NOW! But really, falling in love isn't something that you can just "do" as if you were going to the grocery store. Wouldn't that be nice, walking down the aisle of WalMart or Kroger or HyVee or Save Mart or Publix (gotta cover all my geographical haunts!) and eggs, check... cheese, check... bread, check... milk, check... fall in love, check... toilet paper, check...
I was off the market for a very long time. I didn't realize, though, how many of my friends were, at some level, concerned about my lack of dating until one little Facebook status posting back in May. All it said was, "So, I have a date tonight, NBD." (NBD stands for "no big deal," for those who aren't text savvy.) I think that status hit 50 "likes," making it perhaps my most popular status ever. After that date, which was the infamous first Match date with T, I started being inundated with friends wanting to know how my dating was going. Ergo, I started this blog, which has gone from journal to therapy and everywhere in between.
Lately I have learned that I am not alone. Particularly this past week I have heard from friends that I've known for years -- I won't say how many -- only to learn they are having the same dating experiences that I am. The drama, the uncertainty, the guys who appear and disappear (one of my friends calls those "shark attacks," where they suddenly show up and then disappear, only to reappear later), the confusion, the ups and downs of singles sex, we are not alone. It's comforting to know what I'm experiencing is "normal," as sad of a thought as that may be. It's also encouraging to know that, in some small way, I'm helping to support and encourage other women in similar situations to me.
But speaking of "being alone..." now I finally get to the juicy, drama part that you were hoping for. (Hey, I know how many of you 'live vicariously' through me via this blog!) J3, "the kid," came over tonight to "hang out." Yeah, right, "hang out." You all know what happened, but let me say that the advice articles I've read about sex during ... "shark week"... are full of crap. My body had lied to me, telling me it was done, so we went there. Nope, I wasn't. Unless you are really into messy situations, don't do it. Just trust me on this one.
Fortunately, that's the only mess of the situation at the moment. I can honestly say I feel very little emotional attraction to him. There's no desire to be more than what we are. I don't yearn to spend time with him, to text him or call him about the little things in life. And so far, we are pretty darn compatible, sexually. We've compared some notes on favorite positions, etc., and all is good for us to happily be "FWB." Well, okay, maybe not really FWB, for as I told another friend, we'll see if we actually do anything that friends would do, or if we just get together for sex. I suspect it'll be the latter, and that's fine. As my dear yenta said, this situation is really pretty perfect for me. I get my needs taken care of (and given how long I was off the market, I have a lot of needs!) and it will allow me to be more patient as I continue my search for a gentleman more worthy of a LTR.
Maybe I should resolve to "have more sex." So far, that seems like a resolution I'll be able to keep... knock on wood... (heh heh, wood...)
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