On Interracial Dating
Lately my Match inbox has been seeing a remarkable amount of interest from African American gentlemen. Now while getting emails and winks from African American men isn't necessarily new, in the past week or so it has been almost exclusively communiques from non-Caucasians. I include other races in my "acceptable ethnicities" on Match, but the fact is I've never dated anyone who wasn't, well, white.
I can hear some of my gay friends right now whispering, "once you go black, you never go back." And at least one gay friend will loudly proclaim, in his best Jewish accent, "don't listen to 'em, honey." The demographics of my friends cover the spectrum: white, black, Asian, Indian, gay, straight, bisexual, male, female, transgendered, able-bodied, physically-challenged, Democrat, Republican, Independent, and I'm sure I'm forgetting a major or minor subcategory or seven. Frankly, those "classifications" mean nothing to me, because all I see are my friends. So why do I hesitate when I see that the person behind the screen name is not white?
Previously, it has been for reasons that would exclude any man from consideration. It has been things such as distance, a questionably literate profile, or general unattractiveness. Don't get me wrong; there are some very attractive black men out there, and not just movie and TV stars (Shemar Moore, anyone?) but print models and even in my own friends I've got some real hotties. The ones who have come up on Match, so far, haven't fallen into that category.
Until now.
I have two emails in my inbox that I need to address, both from African American men. One I've hesitated on replying to for over a week because, well, of the grammar/spelling/general literacy thing. But, he seems like a nice enough guy and he's attractive. Is it enough for me to get over the bad writing skills? The jury is still out on that one. The other just arrived today, and it's hard to judge literacy by a direct, one-line email, but I've got to give him credit: he went straight for the "date request." Hmm.
I'm sure my great-uncle (or was it my great-grandfather?) is rolling over in his Southern grave at the thought of his kin dating a ... well, my great-uncle was something I am not proud of. Although I never met him, I know one piece of information about him: he was a Grand Wizard in the Klan. Yes, the KKK. So you can imagine what horrid word he would have called a man of African descent, the one that begins with an N and, to my chagrin, modern black boys (certainly not the men) think it acceptable to use when addressing each other. Personally, that is one slur that makes my skin crawl. I'm blessed that my family has progressed well beyond that, and if I were to date a man of a different race, my parents would not have an issue.
So right now my hesitation is coming for a different reason: G. Oh, yes, that is still an active Match after all. I finally heard from him on Tuesday morning, and in spite of myself getting the notification of his email caused me to burst into a ridiculously stupid grin. He apologized for "being MIA," explaining he'd opened several emails to reply to me but then his ADD would get the better of him (grrrreat) and blah, blah, blah... here's my phone number. I've responded, and then waited a good 36 hours before texting him. He's warned me his an awful texter, so much so that it has become a joke among his friends. At least I know what to expect, although he has responded to my text. Put a check in the "plus" column, at least for now!
You would think after fabricating a false persona behind text messages with the last one, M, that I'd be wary of getting too interested too soon with G. Nope. Heck, if I'd actually and truly learned from my mistakes, this blog would be much more boring!
So will anything happen with G? Will I respond favorably to the emails and/or date requests from either of the African American gentlemen?
Stay tuned...
I can hear some of my gay friends right now whispering, "once you go black, you never go back." And at least one gay friend will loudly proclaim, in his best Jewish accent, "don't listen to 'em, honey." The demographics of my friends cover the spectrum: white, black, Asian, Indian, gay, straight, bisexual, male, female, transgendered, able-bodied, physically-challenged, Democrat, Republican, Independent, and I'm sure I'm forgetting a major or minor subcategory or seven. Frankly, those "classifications" mean nothing to me, because all I see are my friends. So why do I hesitate when I see that the person behind the screen name is not white?
Previously, it has been for reasons that would exclude any man from consideration. It has been things such as distance, a questionably literate profile, or general unattractiveness. Don't get me wrong; there are some very attractive black men out there, and not just movie and TV stars (Shemar Moore, anyone?) but print models and even in my own friends I've got some real hotties. The ones who have come up on Match, so far, haven't fallen into that category.
Until now.
I have two emails in my inbox that I need to address, both from African American men. One I've hesitated on replying to for over a week because, well, of the grammar/spelling/general literacy thing. But, he seems like a nice enough guy and he's attractive. Is it enough for me to get over the bad writing skills? The jury is still out on that one. The other just arrived today, and it's hard to judge literacy by a direct, one-line email, but I've got to give him credit: he went straight for the "date request." Hmm.
I'm sure my great-uncle (or was it my great-grandfather?) is rolling over in his Southern grave at the thought of his kin dating a ... well, my great-uncle was something I am not proud of. Although I never met him, I know one piece of information about him: he was a Grand Wizard in the Klan. Yes, the KKK. So you can imagine what horrid word he would have called a man of African descent, the one that begins with an N and, to my chagrin, modern black boys (certainly not the men) think it acceptable to use when addressing each other. Personally, that is one slur that makes my skin crawl. I'm blessed that my family has progressed well beyond that, and if I were to date a man of a different race, my parents would not have an issue.
So right now my hesitation is coming for a different reason: G. Oh, yes, that is still an active Match after all. I finally heard from him on Tuesday morning, and in spite of myself getting the notification of his email caused me to burst into a ridiculously stupid grin. He apologized for "being MIA," explaining he'd opened several emails to reply to me but then his ADD would get the better of him (grrrreat) and blah, blah, blah... here's my phone number. I've responded, and then waited a good 36 hours before texting him. He's warned me his an awful texter, so much so that it has become a joke among his friends. At least I know what to expect, although he has responded to my text. Put a check in the "plus" column, at least for now!
You would think after fabricating a false persona behind text messages with the last one, M, that I'd be wary of getting too interested too soon with G. Nope. Heck, if I'd actually and truly learned from my mistakes, this blog would be much more boring!
So will anything happen with G? Will I respond favorably to the emails and/or date requests from either of the African American gentlemen?
Stay tuned...
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