Shifting Sands
Just two days ago, I blogged that there were no gentlemen around, or at least "in the running." I mentioned that D had decided to text me again, and that I'd gotten an email from an interesting widower, but that otherwise life was quite quiet. Perhaps even boring.
Never fear! This is internet dating! For your viewing pleasure, shall we take a look back into what this kind of stuff was like before the internet?
Now here we are in 2013, and frankly things haven't improved all that much. Even the hairstyles. We do now have Photoshop and text messaging, though.
Which brings us to D. I never did reply to the "morning beautiful" text message. So tonight he decided to text again. The electronic communication to rival Hemingway? "Hi" This time I thought I'd be somewhat polite and reply.
"Hi, stranger. Long time."
His answer: "I know boo... what are you up to?"
Maybe I'm hypersensitive, maybe I've been spoiled by others who are better at communicating, but there are two things about that reply that bother me. First is being called "boo." *Twitch, twitch* Second is that there is absolutely no attempt at an explanation for his two weeks of silence. No, "sorry, I've been busy at work" or any even remotely pathetic excuse.
I did reply to that, saying I was getting ready for bed (which I thought was better than saying, at 7:50 on a Saturday night, that I was already in bed), that it had been a long day and tomorrow was an early alarm. Almost 15 minutes later he sent, "working?"
This is a man who has been, theoretically, pursuing me since late October -- the texting started in very early November. You'd think he'd remember that I have listed on my profile that I am the Director of Worship for my church, but apparently not. I tempered my extremely sarcastic reply, which started "I'm Director of Worship for a church. Tomorrow is Sunday" by adding on that it doesn't always feel like work. His response to that was that he was glad it makes me happy.
This brings us to a word I use a lot: perspective. To some, that reply might have been seen as sweet. To me, it was patronizing, as his texts often seem to me. He's previously expressed "concern" that I "work too hard" and similar things, which to me doesn't show that he either understands or respects that I am an independent woman. I do what I need to do -- and what I want to do -- to keep a roof over my own head, food in my pantry, the lights on, etc. I'm not looking for a sugar daddy. I don't need a man to take care of me.
However, the other gentleman I'm currently communicating with... this one is G. He's 43 and, as I've said, a widower. We've been emailing and it has been a very pleasant change to receive emails that are both articulate and humorous, as well as appropriately complimentary of me. I appreciate that his vocabulary includes words like "vernal." As of late this afternoon, I'd sent him an email with my phone number in it, but I haven't heard from him.
I made it clear when I sent that email that he was to do with my number as he wished. He's fairly new to Match and still figuring out the ropes a little, according to him. I said that because people moved at different speeds on Match, I wasn't asking for him to reciprocate, but that I often accessed Match via my phone and sometimes typing emails gets annoying. (In hindsight, I would've phrased that better, or at least explained it better, but such is life.) So it is up to him if he wants to send me a text or call me, or if he wants to stick with Match email for a while.
I can be patient. For now. *wink*
Never fear! This is internet dating! For your viewing pleasure, shall we take a look back into what this kind of stuff was like before the internet?
Now here we are in 2013, and frankly things haven't improved all that much. Even the hairstyles. We do now have Photoshop and text messaging, though.
Which brings us to D. I never did reply to the "morning beautiful" text message. So tonight he decided to text again. The electronic communication to rival Hemingway? "Hi" This time I thought I'd be somewhat polite and reply.
"Hi, stranger. Long time."
His answer: "I know boo... what are you up to?"
Maybe I'm hypersensitive, maybe I've been spoiled by others who are better at communicating, but there are two things about that reply that bother me. First is being called "boo." *Twitch, twitch* Second is that there is absolutely no attempt at an explanation for his two weeks of silence. No, "sorry, I've been busy at work" or any even remotely pathetic excuse.
I did reply to that, saying I was getting ready for bed (which I thought was better than saying, at 7:50 on a Saturday night, that I was already in bed), that it had been a long day and tomorrow was an early alarm. Almost 15 minutes later he sent, "working?"
This is a man who has been, theoretically, pursuing me since late October -- the texting started in very early November. You'd think he'd remember that I have listed on my profile that I am the Director of Worship for my church, but apparently not. I tempered my extremely sarcastic reply, which started "I'm Director of Worship for a church. Tomorrow is Sunday" by adding on that it doesn't always feel like work. His response to that was that he was glad it makes me happy.
This brings us to a word I use a lot: perspective. To some, that reply might have been seen as sweet. To me, it was patronizing, as his texts often seem to me. He's previously expressed "concern" that I "work too hard" and similar things, which to me doesn't show that he either understands or respects that I am an independent woman. I do what I need to do -- and what I want to do -- to keep a roof over my own head, food in my pantry, the lights on, etc. I'm not looking for a sugar daddy. I don't need a man to take care of me.
However, the other gentleman I'm currently communicating with... this one is G. He's 43 and, as I've said, a widower. We've been emailing and it has been a very pleasant change to receive emails that are both articulate and humorous, as well as appropriately complimentary of me. I appreciate that his vocabulary includes words like "vernal." As of late this afternoon, I'd sent him an email with my phone number in it, but I haven't heard from him.
I made it clear when I sent that email that he was to do with my number as he wished. He's fairly new to Match and still figuring out the ropes a little, according to him. I said that because people moved at different speeds on Match, I wasn't asking for him to reciprocate, but that I often accessed Match via my phone and sometimes typing emails gets annoying. (In hindsight, I would've phrased that better, or at least explained it better, but such is life.) So it is up to him if he wants to send me a text or call me, or if he wants to stick with Match email for a while.
I can be patient. For now. *wink*
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