Facepalm Parts 1 and 2
This is a tale of two facepalms. Times like this make me wonder if it is really worth it when it comes to dating. After all, there's only so much I can do with makeup to cover the evidence of multiple facepalms.
Facepalm, Part 1
We continue the saga of the 28 year old wanting to help me renew my cougar card. Last night I thought I had made it clear that I didn't want to be a cougar again, that I didn't want a casual sex relationship, and that I wasn't going to be having him over. Thing is, and I should know better, men and women communicate differently. When women think they are being clear, men still don't understand. It usually takes language akin to a "Dick and Jane" book for successful communication.
So why was I surprised to see him texting me at a little before 9:30 today? Inquiring if we were getting together tonight? I ignored the messages for an hour or so. It was a teaching day for me, and I don't have a lot of time for texting. Then I got a text that was only "?!"
How rude.
So I told him I was at work, teaching K-8, and that I was also sick. It wasn't the first time I had told him I was sick; I have a nasty cold that is being passed around the teachers at school. His response to that was, "So can I stop by your place on my way home from work?"
*smack* There's the first facepalm. I'm sick. Sure! Come on over! I definitely feel like getting it on with a stranger while my sinuses are producing enough snot to lubricate industrial machinery.
I told him I wouldn't be home until late. I then said to him that 1., I was not interested in renewing my cougar card, 2., I prefer older men, 3., I'm not a prostitute that just gives bj's to random men, and 4., he should find someone else.
"Don't you think we could have fun?"
*smack* Facepalm number two.
Find. Someone. Else. I reiterated.
Silly me thought that was the end of it. I didn't hear anything else as the day went along. I started to breathe a sigh of relief. Then at 7:14 p.m., he texted again. "Still working?"
*smack* That's the third facepalm. I think it might have left a mark.
After frustratedly texting a good girlfriend, I find dug deep and found my inner bitch, which admittedly wasn't really all that bitchy. I just don't do nasty and bitchy very well because I don't like hurting people - even random guys from Match. So I said, "Hey, I don't do blunt or bitchy very well, but I'll try to make this clear. I don't want this to happen. You need to find someone else."
Once again, he was worried he'd made me mad. I told him he didn't, and that I just didn't want this right now.
There's no guarantees he is gone for good. He's been so tenacious, I wouldn't be surprised if I hear from him again in a few days or a week or so. Earlier I had used the "I'll keep your number if I need it" line, but remember this Mensa candidate replied to me saying I was sick by asking if he could come by on his way home from work.
Facepalm, Part 2
This story takes place last night and into this morning. First, a little background. Match profiles have what they call "headlines." It's a blurb at the top of your profile and hanging out with your thumbnail that you create that is supposed to be cute, catchy, intriguing, something like that. For a long time, mine was "Sweet yet sassy," which I'd give a B- to for creativity but an A for accuracy. In honor of Star Wars day and other similar discussions, I changed my headline to "Something, something Dark Side... something, something Complete."
Bonus points if you know what it comes from.
Around 10:30 last night, just as I was winding down and getting ready to fall asleep, I get a Match notification. I have a new email! So I pull up this email, thinking it will be like most of them: a handful of sentences at best with very little interesting information.
Wrong.
Here is the text of the email. Unedited.
"So let me get this straight. You are a worship director/pastor for a liberal church yet your title says "something something Dark Side...something something Complete." Hmm...? That is awfully confusing. How liberal is that church? ; )
Wow...115 lbs! That is impressive. Congratulations!
Well, you seem like a nice lady, you like the outdoors, and it doesn't sound like you practice "man made" legalism to "control the flock". It is interesting because in "today's" culture most American men are emasculated and our kids and women have a sense of "entitlement". What ever happened to "work" for what you earn, men being men, women being women, and kids being kids doing something other than xbox? No apologies for the questions... just conversation starters. Maybe you could enlighten me with a new perspective. = )
Okay, well let's see. Oh yes.. the ball is in your court, but I'm cheating and stealing your turn. You are pretty cute, nice body, great smile, sweet, caring, thoughtful, affectionate, and sarcastic, professional, and educated. Yeah.. that sounds awesome. However, I'm perplexed because I cannot wrap my head around the "something something Dark Side...something something Complete". Cannot something be complete and not dark? Cannot something be real and not complete? Interesting twist you have... my mind wonders what exist in that soul of yours. It is good, yet perhaps maybe a little twist of naughty. I don't know... I am purely speculating because of the oxymoron. Perhaps you will need to explain it to someone that finds shades of gray difficult to decipher yet entertaining."
It wasn't until later today when I reread the email that I even processed the whole misogynistic paragraph about emasculated American men and women being "entitled." I was just so dumbfounded by the attempt at philosophizing my headline quote with my religious views that it didn't sink in. So I replied.
"My headline is a quote from a special Family Guy episode and has no deep meaning. It is merely a mix of two things I like: Family Guy and Star Wars. Does that clear things up for you some?"
His response:
"LOL! That is hilarious. Too funny. Here I was trying to pull the meaning out of something senseless. Wrapping my mind around the depth and magnitude of a imaginary persona. LOL!
Ugh.. I am so foolish. You got me. Congratulations. Probably 99% of the guys don't even read the profiles and here I am deciphering one. Sorry, I'm kind of a deep and detailed person so I find these challenges intellectually entertaining. LOL! Well that was fun. = ) I should kick your butt. LOL!"
So this gentleman who is in his 40s with 4 kids is deep and philosophical, yet he uses "LOL" four times in an email. Four times. For good measure, are we surprised that he is conservative and one of his pictures has him showing off his huntin gun? And he "should kick my butt" because he made himself look like a fool?
I'd facepalm, but my face hurts from the annoying kid.
Facepalm, Part 1
We continue the saga of the 28 year old wanting to help me renew my cougar card. Last night I thought I had made it clear that I didn't want to be a cougar again, that I didn't want a casual sex relationship, and that I wasn't going to be having him over. Thing is, and I should know better, men and women communicate differently. When women think they are being clear, men still don't understand. It usually takes language akin to a "Dick and Jane" book for successful communication.
So why was I surprised to see him texting me at a little before 9:30 today? Inquiring if we were getting together tonight? I ignored the messages for an hour or so. It was a teaching day for me, and I don't have a lot of time for texting. Then I got a text that was only "?!"
How rude.
So I told him I was at work, teaching K-8, and that I was also sick. It wasn't the first time I had told him I was sick; I have a nasty cold that is being passed around the teachers at school. His response to that was, "So can I stop by your place on my way home from work?"
*smack* There's the first facepalm. I'm sick. Sure! Come on over! I definitely feel like getting it on with a stranger while my sinuses are producing enough snot to lubricate industrial machinery.
I told him I wouldn't be home until late. I then said to him that 1., I was not interested in renewing my cougar card, 2., I prefer older men, 3., I'm not a prostitute that just gives bj's to random men, and 4., he should find someone else.
"Don't you think we could have fun?"
*smack* Facepalm number two.
Find. Someone. Else. I reiterated.
Silly me thought that was the end of it. I didn't hear anything else as the day went along. I started to breathe a sigh of relief. Then at 7:14 p.m., he texted again. "Still working?"
*smack* That's the third facepalm. I think it might have left a mark.
After frustratedly texting a good girlfriend, I find dug deep and found my inner bitch, which admittedly wasn't really all that bitchy. I just don't do nasty and bitchy very well because I don't like hurting people - even random guys from Match. So I said, "Hey, I don't do blunt or bitchy very well, but I'll try to make this clear. I don't want this to happen. You need to find someone else."
Once again, he was worried he'd made me mad. I told him he didn't, and that I just didn't want this right now.
There's no guarantees he is gone for good. He's been so tenacious, I wouldn't be surprised if I hear from him again in a few days or a week or so. Earlier I had used the "I'll keep your number if I need it" line, but remember this Mensa candidate replied to me saying I was sick by asking if he could come by on his way home from work.
Facepalm, Part 2
This story takes place last night and into this morning. First, a little background. Match profiles have what they call "headlines." It's a blurb at the top of your profile and hanging out with your thumbnail that you create that is supposed to be cute, catchy, intriguing, something like that. For a long time, mine was "Sweet yet sassy," which I'd give a B- to for creativity but an A for accuracy. In honor of Star Wars day and other similar discussions, I changed my headline to "Something, something Dark Side... something, something Complete."
Bonus points if you know what it comes from.
Around 10:30 last night, just as I was winding down and getting ready to fall asleep, I get a Match notification. I have a new email! So I pull up this email, thinking it will be like most of them: a handful of sentences at best with very little interesting information.
Wrong.
Here is the text of the email. Unedited.
"So let me get this straight. You are a worship director/pastor for a liberal church yet your title says "something something Dark Side...something something Complete." Hmm...? That is awfully confusing. How liberal is that church? ; )
Wow...115 lbs! That is impressive. Congratulations!
Well, you seem like a nice lady, you like the outdoors, and it doesn't sound like you practice "man made" legalism to "control the flock". It is interesting because in "today's" culture most American men are emasculated and our kids and women have a sense of "entitlement". What ever happened to "work" for what you earn, men being men, women being women, and kids being kids doing something other than xbox? No apologies for the questions... just conversation starters. Maybe you could enlighten me with a new perspective. = )
Okay, well let's see. Oh yes.. the ball is in your court, but I'm cheating and stealing your turn. You are pretty cute, nice body, great smile, sweet, caring, thoughtful, affectionate, and sarcastic, professional, and educated. Yeah.. that sounds awesome. However, I'm perplexed because I cannot wrap my head around the "something something Dark Side...something something Complete". Cannot something be complete and not dark? Cannot something be real and not complete? Interesting twist you have... my mind wonders what exist in that soul of yours. It is good, yet perhaps maybe a little twist of naughty. I don't know... I am purely speculating because of the oxymoron. Perhaps you will need to explain it to someone that finds shades of gray difficult to decipher yet entertaining."
It wasn't until later today when I reread the email that I even processed the whole misogynistic paragraph about emasculated American men and women being "entitled." I was just so dumbfounded by the attempt at philosophizing my headline quote with my religious views that it didn't sink in. So I replied.
"My headline is a quote from a special Family Guy episode and has no deep meaning. It is merely a mix of two things I like: Family Guy and Star Wars. Does that clear things up for you some?"
His response:
"LOL! That is hilarious. Too funny. Here I was trying to pull the meaning out of something senseless. Wrapping my mind around the depth and magnitude of a imaginary persona. LOL!
Ugh.. I am so foolish. You got me. Congratulations. Probably 99% of the guys don't even read the profiles and here I am deciphering one. Sorry, I'm kind of a deep and detailed person so I find these challenges intellectually entertaining. LOL! Well that was fun. = ) I should kick your butt. LOL!"
So this gentleman who is in his 40s with 4 kids is deep and philosophical, yet he uses "LOL" four times in an email. Four times. For good measure, are we surprised that he is conservative and one of his pictures has him showing off his huntin gun? And he "should kick my butt" because he made himself look like a fool?
I'd facepalm, but my face hurts from the annoying kid.
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