Phone Calls
At the risk of dating myself horribly, I remember the days when we would be excited for phone calls, especially if they were coming from our crushes. We both had to be home, of course, and when the phone rang our hearts would jump as we either waited for our parents to answer the phone or as we ourselves picked up the receiver. Was it our crush? Was it someone else? Then if we were fortunate, we would spend a chunk of time talking to our crushes, chatting about anything and everything, while our parents or whoever complained we were tying up the phone.
Of course, there was also the flip side: being the one to make the call. Would he be home? What would his parents think if they answered? Your hands sweat and your heart beats crazily as you push the button to "dial" the touch-tone phone. You listen to the ringing on the other end, wondering if his dad would answer, if he would answer, or if you'd get the answering machine. Should you leave a message? I mean, anyone can hear that, like his mom or his little sister. Seriously! What to do?
I'm sure, in this day and age of texting, that teens and pre-teens still get anxious like that over a text, but I dare say it just isn't the same. Meanwhile, being an adult has made me much less excited for phone calls. Is it the doctor's office, wanting to schedule an appointment because there was something not quite right with a test result? Is it one of my student loan guarantors, wondering when I'll make my next payment? Is it someone I minister to at my church, calling because they or a loved one is in the hospital? Mix into all that the fact I'm an introvert, and it adds up to me having a phone plan with unlimited texting and more unused talk minutes that have rolled over than anyone could ever use.
Since moving to texting on Sunday, Bachelor #4 and I haven't exactly been burning through our text messages. Sunday we sent quite a few. Monday was just a handful of exchanges, mostly wishing the other a good day or saying good night. Tuesday started the same, until I did that thing that can sometimes be hilarious and a problem at the same time.
I sort of drunk texted him.
I was out with a good friend for a long, long overdue catch-up evening. We, as almost always, went to a favorite Mexican restaurant and sat at the bar, because another of our good friends is the bar manager there. We eat tons of chips and salsa (well, at least I eat tons of chips and salsa), order dinner, and consume copious amounts of top shelf margaritas made by our friend, who often forgets to put them on our bills. I had three, over three hours, and while I'd been eating the whole time they really kind of hit me.
As I was starting on margarita #3, and while my friend was in the restroom, I texted Bachelor #4. Unlike the typical drunk text, this one had nothing to do with sex or anything like that. In a nutshell, I said it was kind of a bad thing I had a bartender friend who fed me free margaritas, and I hope he'd had a good day. Then my friend and I continued on with our evening for about another 45 minutes and said our goodbyes.
I live less than 2 minutes from this restaurant. I can walk to and from if I need to. Last night I was extremely careful, driving the path I could find in my sleep. I wasn't drunk, just wonderfully buzzed. Then my text tone sounded.
"You still awake?"
I told him I was, that I was just pulling into my place. He then asked me to call him. I said that I was a bit inebriated and didn't think that would make the best first impression. He said please. I relented.
After getting into my pj's, I found out my phone also works if it is held up to my ear. This odd little rectangular thing has a function where I can talk into it, and people far away can hear me! And I can also hear them! It's more than words, and games, and Facebook feeds, and cat videos. Amazing!
Unlike previous bachelors, both in this round on Match and before, this conversation was easy. We were both relaxed (in my case, I'm sure the margaritas helped; in his case, he'd poured a little scotch to sip while chatting with me so maybe that helped him). We shared many laughs and were just very comfortable with each other. We made plans for our first date which will be Saturday.
Okay, maybe "making plans" doesn't mean quite what we think it means. We figured out a day, time, and place to meet up. And maybe what we're going to do, which at this point is dinner and perhaps going for a walk. We live only 5 or so minutes away from each other, so we're meeting up locally and then heading into urban KC for dinner and such.
Given my last few recent experiences, I'm a little hyper-sensitive to red flags. Talk of the future prior to even meeting is a big one for me. At the same time, my gut is often more accurate than my head and heart combined. He was careful about any future talk, but there was one phrase that stood out to me. Well, it was more like a paragraph.
He had talked about his limited, so far, dates on Match, and how most of them had been dinner or something fairly brief. While he didn't specifically say it, it was clear between the lines he wanted the dates to have an end time. To me, though, he flat out said he honestly thought I was someone he would want to spend quite a bit of time with on our first date, so let's keep it somewhat open-ended. We could do dinner and a movie, but he thought that "somewhat cliched," and besides he's not a huge movie fan.
Finally. A Match bachelor who isn't a movie nerd, who won't judge me or give me that condescending look when I admit I haven't been to the movies in forever. Because, I generally only go to the movies when I'm on a date. But, I digress.
Hence our current plan is to eat dinner (specific location TBD) and then walk around, chatting, people-watching, etc. We're planning on heading down to the Plaza, which is a great area for this kind of stuff: a great mix of people, shops, places to eat. And after the ease of last night's conversation and today's casual texting, I agree with him. I think this could be a very enjoyable multi-hour date.
Another positive sign: while there's been a little bit of flirting, there's been zero sexual innuendo talk. Zero. This is quite the nice change, especially after two guys in a row who went straight for the sexual jugular. Even Bachelor #2, in his semi-awkwardness, cracked some sex jokes prior to us meeting. With Bachelor #4, the connection is so far quite intellectual, chemistry and personality being key hallmarks.
This is a huge hook for me, I'll admit it. I've experienced guys who get... overwhelmed, perhaps, when they grasp the reality of my extensive education, my musical talents and connections, my resume, things like that. Bachelor #4 actually likes all that about me, and not in a "here's a woman I can use to network" kind of way.
Of course, physical attraction is an element of any romantic relationship. Based on his pictures, he's certainly more attractive than many of the other guys whose profiles I have sorted through or who have contacted me. Besides, when you are attracted to the person, it is interesting how they become more physically attractive as well. We shall see if that carries through when we meet in person!
Of course, there was also the flip side: being the one to make the call. Would he be home? What would his parents think if they answered? Your hands sweat and your heart beats crazily as you push the button to "dial" the touch-tone phone. You listen to the ringing on the other end, wondering if his dad would answer, if he would answer, or if you'd get the answering machine. Should you leave a message? I mean, anyone can hear that, like his mom or his little sister. Seriously! What to do?
I'm sure, in this day and age of texting, that teens and pre-teens still get anxious like that over a text, but I dare say it just isn't the same. Meanwhile, being an adult has made me much less excited for phone calls. Is it the doctor's office, wanting to schedule an appointment because there was something not quite right with a test result? Is it one of my student loan guarantors, wondering when I'll make my next payment? Is it someone I minister to at my church, calling because they or a loved one is in the hospital? Mix into all that the fact I'm an introvert, and it adds up to me having a phone plan with unlimited texting and more unused talk minutes that have rolled over than anyone could ever use.
Since moving to texting on Sunday, Bachelor #4 and I haven't exactly been burning through our text messages. Sunday we sent quite a few. Monday was just a handful of exchanges, mostly wishing the other a good day or saying good night. Tuesday started the same, until I did that thing that can sometimes be hilarious and a problem at the same time.
I sort of drunk texted him.
I was out with a good friend for a long, long overdue catch-up evening. We, as almost always, went to a favorite Mexican restaurant and sat at the bar, because another of our good friends is the bar manager there. We eat tons of chips and salsa (well, at least I eat tons of chips and salsa), order dinner, and consume copious amounts of top shelf margaritas made by our friend, who often forgets to put them on our bills. I had three, over three hours, and while I'd been eating the whole time they really kind of hit me.
As I was starting on margarita #3, and while my friend was in the restroom, I texted Bachelor #4. Unlike the typical drunk text, this one had nothing to do with sex or anything like that. In a nutshell, I said it was kind of a bad thing I had a bartender friend who fed me free margaritas, and I hope he'd had a good day. Then my friend and I continued on with our evening for about another 45 minutes and said our goodbyes.
I live less than 2 minutes from this restaurant. I can walk to and from if I need to. Last night I was extremely careful, driving the path I could find in my sleep. I wasn't drunk, just wonderfully buzzed. Then my text tone sounded.
"You still awake?"
I told him I was, that I was just pulling into my place. He then asked me to call him. I said that I was a bit inebriated and didn't think that would make the best first impression. He said please. I relented.
After getting into my pj's, I found out my phone also works if it is held up to my ear. This odd little rectangular thing has a function where I can talk into it, and people far away can hear me! And I can also hear them! It's more than words, and games, and Facebook feeds, and cat videos. Amazing!
Unlike previous bachelors, both in this round on Match and before, this conversation was easy. We were both relaxed (in my case, I'm sure the margaritas helped; in his case, he'd poured a little scotch to sip while chatting with me so maybe that helped him). We shared many laughs and were just very comfortable with each other. We made plans for our first date which will be Saturday.
Okay, maybe "making plans" doesn't mean quite what we think it means. We figured out a day, time, and place to meet up. And maybe what we're going to do, which at this point is dinner and perhaps going for a walk. We live only 5 or so minutes away from each other, so we're meeting up locally and then heading into urban KC for dinner and such.
Given my last few recent experiences, I'm a little hyper-sensitive to red flags. Talk of the future prior to even meeting is a big one for me. At the same time, my gut is often more accurate than my head and heart combined. He was careful about any future talk, but there was one phrase that stood out to me. Well, it was more like a paragraph.
He had talked about his limited, so far, dates on Match, and how most of them had been dinner or something fairly brief. While he didn't specifically say it, it was clear between the lines he wanted the dates to have an end time. To me, though, he flat out said he honestly thought I was someone he would want to spend quite a bit of time with on our first date, so let's keep it somewhat open-ended. We could do dinner and a movie, but he thought that "somewhat cliched," and besides he's not a huge movie fan.
Finally. A Match bachelor who isn't a movie nerd, who won't judge me or give me that condescending look when I admit I haven't been to the movies in forever. Because, I generally only go to the movies when I'm on a date. But, I digress.
Hence our current plan is to eat dinner (specific location TBD) and then walk around, chatting, people-watching, etc. We're planning on heading down to the Plaza, which is a great area for this kind of stuff: a great mix of people, shops, places to eat. And after the ease of last night's conversation and today's casual texting, I agree with him. I think this could be a very enjoyable multi-hour date.
Another positive sign: while there's been a little bit of flirting, there's been zero sexual innuendo talk. Zero. This is quite the nice change, especially after two guys in a row who went straight for the sexual jugular. Even Bachelor #2, in his semi-awkwardness, cracked some sex jokes prior to us meeting. With Bachelor #4, the connection is so far quite intellectual, chemistry and personality being key hallmarks.
This is a huge hook for me, I'll admit it. I've experienced guys who get... overwhelmed, perhaps, when they grasp the reality of my extensive education, my musical talents and connections, my resume, things like that. Bachelor #4 actually likes all that about me, and not in a "here's a woman I can use to network" kind of way.
Of course, physical attraction is an element of any romantic relationship. Based on his pictures, he's certainly more attractive than many of the other guys whose profiles I have sorted through or who have contacted me. Besides, when you are attracted to the person, it is interesting how they become more physically attractive as well. We shall see if that carries through when we meet in person!
Comments
Post a Comment
We are all adults here. Comments are welcome, but they are also moderated because there has been a marked increase in spam, trolling, and generally snarky and nasty comments being submitted. Different opinions are welcome when expressed maturely; rude comments and links will not be published.