Tough Decisions

If there is one thing I love to do, it is admit I made a mistake, especially if it is a mistake I've made before.  Isn't that the definition of insanity, to repeatedly do something expecting a different outcome?  Then again, that makes all who date insane, for we are constantly meeting people and going on dates expecting one encounter to be different and ultimately better than the others.

We come to the update on J3.  I last blogged about our third date, the one that ended up in my bed.  In the days that followed, the text conversations started off promising.  In a nutshell, "Reader's Digest" compilation, they started:

Me: So do you have time next weekend...?
J3: Yeah, probably.
Me: Well, I'm sure we'll talk this week.
J3: Yeah, definitely.  (Note: that is word-for-word.)

They continued during the week, discussing overall inane things.  Thursday he told me his weekend was pretty busy but that he might have time on Sunday evening.  I told him I could make that work, but that I didn't want to be an obligation.

I haven't heard from him since.

I texted him on Friday, just reaching out a little because I'm a K-8 teacher on Wednesdays and Fridays, and you'd have to have been living on Pluto to not know about the tragic and horrific shooting in Connecticut on Friday.  I learned of the news mere minutes before seeing my own Kindergartners, and I was quite shaken all day.

Saturday, I laid low.  Sunday, I simply sent a message that said, "Hello?"

In the past when there's been a delay in him replying to me, he always apologizes and explains.  Sometimes, it's been really unnecessary but still appreciated.  I have yet to hear from him.  Things have supposedly been busy at work for him, but we all leave work at some point.  It is always possible I'm reading way too much into this, but this blog wouldn't be nearly as interesting if there wasn't crazy drama on my end.

I'm not happy that I may have allowed myself to fall into the ONS category again, but is it a ONS if it was the third date?  I'm also kicking myself because I've been down this road before... becoming sexually active with a guy only to get promises of more time together immediately followed by him gradually not responding to text messages.  I have to ask myself some tough questions, though.

I know I'll text him again.  That's just me, frankly.  What I'm trying to decide is what kind of text to send.  Should it be a "hey, what's up" text?  An "are you mad at me?" text?  A "do you just want to move on?" text?  If he does want to move on, that's fine, but I think I deserve the courtesy of some sort of notification.  But do I have the guts to send that text, knowing the answer might very well be "yes, I do?"  Am I really strong enough to directly seek possible rejection?

Yeah.  Merry Christmas...

Comments

  1. UnknownDecember 18, 2012 at 3:41 AM

    But then there is no sense in thinking about the pay for dates because free online dating sites in the USA do not limit you to dating just one person, you can date as many people there is possible.

    USA Dating Site

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

We are all adults here. Comments are welcome, but they are also moderated because there has been a marked increase in spam, trolling, and generally snarky and nasty comments being submitted. Different opinions are welcome when expressed maturely; rude comments and links will not be published.

Popular posts from this blog

Even Bach Had His Mondays - Part 1

For those who may not know, my actual life is that of a classical musician. One of my professors in grad school used to say when things went awry that "even Bach had his Mondays". That was his way of saying that even people who are considered masters of their art form have off days and don't produce their best work. It's been about 3 months since I last blogged, and in that time there have been quite a few Mondays. "Larry" and I decided to be FWB, and that has had more ups and down than a rollercoaster. Granted, a lot of ups. Fundamentally, he is a good guy who doesn't know what the heck he wants out of life and is staring down the barrel of the shotgun known as turning 50. And if we're going to be perfectly honest, he's also a functional alcoholic. Last night I was asked what exactly I meant by that, a "functional alcoholic". I am not opposed to unwinding in the evening with a cocktail or two, or the occasional beer. Sometimes, I o
Read more

Two and Done (Late Post)

NOTE: This post was supposed to be posted on November 9. Whoops. Fair warning: I'm pretty blue right now. It seems two and done is the name of the game right now. First there was NDD. Now the Doctor seems to be a two and done. The second date went really well. Then he got sick with a cold and the texting dwindled. And dwindled. I asked him if he was ghosting me, and if he was, to just be upfront about it. "After last night, why do you think I would be ghosting you?" It was a valid point, but didn't explain the behavior. Yesterday I texted him asking to get on his calendar for Tuesday. He thought it might work, said he needed to check his schedule. He was going out of town on Wednesday and hadn't decided if he was leaving "early, early Wednesday morning" or Tuesday evening. Even though we exchanged a few texts, I never really heard back. Today I texted him that I hoped he was feeling better, that I felt his interest in me was waning, if I wa
Read more

It's Getting Cloooooser....

...and Leo's getting laaaarrrrger!! Bonus points if you know what movie I just quoted. We are at T minus 44 hours, give or take, until the ball game.  THE ball game.  The one where me, my good friend, her boyfriend, and her son are being joined by P and his son.  "Date" #2, with an audience and offspring. In the meantime, we've continued our usual texting and such.  Sometimes it's been flirty, even "adults only."  Sometimes it's been strictly business, if you will, such as dealing with the logistics of the tickets for Saturday.  And, nothing new, I keep vacillating between convinced he's into me and convinced he's still actively keeping his options open. What I do know is that about 85% of the time when I text him, I get an immediate reply.  I don't know of anyone else who I text where the response rate is that high.  However, relationships are not built on texting alone.  Leave it to my friend to ask me, "You guys have actua
Read more