The Big Post
Finally! I can fill you all in on what has happened!! I will start back a week ago and work forward chronologically. A great deal has happened, so you may want to grab a cup of coffee or an adult beverage and get comfortable -- this is going to be a long read.
Let us review the cast of characters:
BDJ: Blind Date J
L: the friend setting me up with BDJ
J3: the boy toy "friend with benefits"
Match.com: the dating website
Saturday, March 30
BDJ and I have been texting with such frequency that Homeland Security could probably pinpoint our location within inches at any given moment. While texting, we both agree that we'd like to meet sooner than the scheduled "blind date." How about tomorrow? Oh, and let's not tell L, the mutual friend.
How convenient that I was shopping for a new dress as we were setting this up.
Sunday, March 31 (Easter)
BDJ and I have set up 7:00 tonight as our meeting time. As has been the case the previous few days, the text messages have been flying. By all accounts, we are both very excited for this date.
However, BDJ isn't the only one texting me. J3, the boy toy, decides tonight would be a good night for some action. I actually had had a dream of sorts where I was on a date with BDJ, and J3 texted. In the dream, hadn't changed J3's text tone, which was (in real life) a movie announcer-type voice saying, "You have a text from your... booty call." The dream scared me enough that I changed J3's text tone. So I let J3 know that I had a date, and that this, I felt, was something significant. It wasn't an easy conversation, because although we were only FWB, I was essentially dumping him. Whatever. He's young and cute, he'll bounce back with no problem.
Meanwhile, BDJ and I decide meeting earlier than 7:00 would be good. I put on the new linen & eyelet Little Black Dress and my fabulous 5" fuchsia suede heels and nervously head on out. The in-person connection turns out to be just as good as the email and text connection, perhaps even better so. A beer at one place, then we headed to dinner at another, and then we went to his house for a "quiet place to talk."
Monday, April 1
8:00 am, BDJ drops me off at my car. What has happened in the previous 12 hours, give or take, was nothing short of amazing. As always, I will not kiss and tell, but know that sleep deprivation can be an evil mistress.
Two important things happened during the evening. First, we agreed that the connection was so right, that even though it was only our first date, we wanted to focus on this and this alone. BDJ, "Blind Date J," is now my boyfriend, and shall henceforth be called the BF. Second, because of that, I both cancelled and deactivated my Match.com membership. (Cancelling means at the end of my pre-paid subscription it will not renew, but I can still use the site fully until the end of the subscription. Deactivating means my profile is hidden, members cannot communicate with me, and I will no longer receive emails with matches.) If you think that seems a little extreme or knee-jerk, know that I can reactivate it within a year if I so choose.
Tuesday, April 2
On our first date, the BF and I set up dinner and "dessert" on Wednesday as date #2. Tuesday morning as we're texting, he says "9 more hours!" I had to reply: "I hate to disappoint you, but it's actually 33 more hours. Today is only Tuesday." Mutual interest can cause things to change, and I ended up packing a bag and preparing to see him after work on Tuesday. Instead of Wednesday. Thankfully, I'd gotten over 9 hours of sleep the night before!
Now the BF knows all about J3, the boy toy. In fact, the BF calls J3 "Gerber," referring to his youthful age. Even on our first date, the BF jokingly wanted to text J3 and let him know that I was off the market, but I wouldn't let him. So, when my text tone sounded on Tuesday as we were getting dinner ready, we both got quite the laugh when the display showed J3.
Sunday then Tuesday. Persistent little thing. Well, at least very horny.
When I told the BF who it was, he said, "Tell him I say hi!" So, I did. Evil me sent this reply to his "Hey, what's up?" text: "Hey there! My boyfriend says hi."
I never got a response. Which is good.
Wednesday, April 3
Before I get to the date, today was the day I started gradually going public with the relationship. I had posted a Facebook status the night before about being ridiculously happy and lucky, and one of our mutual friends commented on it. So, I messaged her telling her why I was so happy... and who was making me so happy. I'll admit, I was a little uncertain about telling her who, because what if her response was, "HIM? Why are you dating that jerk?" My fears were unfounded, though, as she gave him a glowing endorsement and said she was over-the-moon happy for us both.
Tonight was the night we had originally set up for our second date, which was now our third, and at the same time just felt in many ways like our 300th -- and I mean that in a good way. While we still have a lot to get to know about each other, it really feels to me like I've known him so much longer than I have.
Maybe those romance writers have something right after all.
Simple dinner, bottle of wine, and then our musical geek-ness came out as we started sharing recordings and stories. Right now, I'm one up on the choral geek scale from him; we got into a rather intense discussion about a recording and what the piece was. (It was on a cassette tape -- yes, cassette -- and there was no listing of what was on it other than what Honor Choir it was.) After going round and round and both of us pulling up YouTube on our phones, I won. Don't doubt me when it comes to Mozart v. Vivaldi!
During that time, another mutual friend called, responding to a text message I'd sent him. I intentionally dropped the word "boyfriend" while on the phone with him, and he wasted no time in grilling me. Getting the green light from the BF, I told the friend who I was dating. He was ecstatic, gave us his blessing, all good things. Now the BF and I are debating as to how long it will be before the entire KC choral community knows we're dating.
Frivolity aside, the evening also included some very deep discussions. I've let him into some of the dark corners of my psyche and my self esteem issues; he opened up in great detail about previous hurts and struggles. I've not only even told him about this blog, but he's read the entries I've written about him. This is a connection that runs deep.
So, I left my spare toothbrush at his house. I think it looks better in his toothbrush holder than it does in my travel toiletries bag.
Thursday, April 4
Both the BF and I can be pranksters. We've been talking ever since we met about how to prank our friend L. He suggested we get cheap, fake "wedding rings" and announce we eloped. I said that would probably give her a heart attack. We discussed sending her messages about getting "cold feet" after our emailing and texting, or that I had been talking to some of my singer friends and was getting bad reports about him and I was concerned for my professional reputation, but we didn't do either of those.
I did send her an email that was about confirming the evening, but also "letting her know" that I had "recently met someone" that I felt a "really deep connection with." I went on to say that I was going to try to stay open-minded about this meeting with [BDJ] for good reasons, asked her not to ask about this "new guy," and encouraged her to not feel bad should there be no connection between me and [BDJ], because I really appreciated all that she had done.
I ran the draft past the BF, who loved it. He then decided that since I'll be getting there before him -- part of our friend L's plot, we discovered -- when he arrives he'll go for maximum shock value and just kiss me hello. I told him I was great with that, because no matter how much acting training I have had, I probably won't be able to hide the big, stupid, glowing grin on my face when I see him.
Friday, April 5 -- the "Blind Date"
Well... we didn't get the shock factor we'd been hoping for. No stunned reactions from our friends when we kissed hello. But, as the evening went on, their shock gradually became apparent because the evening was obviously going in a different direction than they had planned. They had expected to be facilitating conversation with two people who were just meeting, and instead they were on a double date with another couple.
The hardest part was the time there prior to his arrival. L, her husband, and I are sitting outside on a beautiful Spring evening. We have a pitcher of sangria and are ordering our tapas. Happy Hour and it's discounted prices were winding to a close, and "BDJ" (the BF) was not yet there. L's and her husband are trying to figure out if and what they should order for "BDJ," and complaining that he "isn't a very good texter." Meanwhile, I'm drawing on all my acting training to keep a straight, even disinterested, face, because I know the answers to all their questions. I could place an order for him, easily, and my phone is going nuts with messages, all messages coming from him, keeping me posted on where he was.
L did grill me, some, about what had happened. She then shared with me two things she and her husband had said after connecting us via email. Right now, I will only share one of those, which is that they somehow knew we'd meet before Friday.
Three pitchers of sangria, some tapas, some great conversation, then another cocktail at a private club, and a very enjoyable evening was had by all. Pictures of "the happy couple," as L calls us, were taken and posted on Facebook. And as we all know, once something is "Facebook official," then it's really, truly official.
So now that the relationship is out in the open, this blog will quietly wind down. If and when major, interesting, or humorous things happen, I may post. If, for some reason, I need the therapy that this blog has given me during the time I was on Match, I'll post. Otherwise, thank you, dear readers, for your love, humor, and support!! It's been an ... interesting ... 10 months to say the least!
Let us review the cast of characters:
BDJ: Blind Date J
L: the friend setting me up with BDJ
J3: the boy toy "friend with benefits"
Match.com: the dating website
Saturday, March 30
BDJ and I have been texting with such frequency that Homeland Security could probably pinpoint our location within inches at any given moment. While texting, we both agree that we'd like to meet sooner than the scheduled "blind date." How about tomorrow? Oh, and let's not tell L, the mutual friend.
How convenient that I was shopping for a new dress as we were setting this up.
Sunday, March 31 (Easter)
BDJ and I have set up 7:00 tonight as our meeting time. As has been the case the previous few days, the text messages have been flying. By all accounts, we are both very excited for this date.
However, BDJ isn't the only one texting me. J3, the boy toy, decides tonight would be a good night for some action. I actually had had a dream of sorts where I was on a date with BDJ, and J3 texted. In the dream, hadn't changed J3's text tone, which was (in real life) a movie announcer-type voice saying, "You have a text from your... booty call." The dream scared me enough that I changed J3's text tone. So I let J3 know that I had a date, and that this, I felt, was something significant. It wasn't an easy conversation, because although we were only FWB, I was essentially dumping him. Whatever. He's young and cute, he'll bounce back with no problem.
Meanwhile, BDJ and I decide meeting earlier than 7:00 would be good. I put on the new linen & eyelet Little Black Dress and my fabulous 5" fuchsia suede heels and nervously head on out. The in-person connection turns out to be just as good as the email and text connection, perhaps even better so. A beer at one place, then we headed to dinner at another, and then we went to his house for a "quiet place to talk."
Monday, April 1
8:00 am, BDJ drops me off at my car. What has happened in the previous 12 hours, give or take, was nothing short of amazing. As always, I will not kiss and tell, but know that sleep deprivation can be an evil mistress.
Two important things happened during the evening. First, we agreed that the connection was so right, that even though it was only our first date, we wanted to focus on this and this alone. BDJ, "Blind Date J," is now my boyfriend, and shall henceforth be called the BF. Second, because of that, I both cancelled and deactivated my Match.com membership. (Cancelling means at the end of my pre-paid subscription it will not renew, but I can still use the site fully until the end of the subscription. Deactivating means my profile is hidden, members cannot communicate with me, and I will no longer receive emails with matches.) If you think that seems a little extreme or knee-jerk, know that I can reactivate it within a year if I so choose.
Tuesday, April 2
On our first date, the BF and I set up dinner and "dessert" on Wednesday as date #2. Tuesday morning as we're texting, he says "9 more hours!" I had to reply: "I hate to disappoint you, but it's actually 33 more hours. Today is only Tuesday." Mutual interest can cause things to change, and I ended up packing a bag and preparing to see him after work on Tuesday. Instead of Wednesday. Thankfully, I'd gotten over 9 hours of sleep the night before!
Now the BF knows all about J3, the boy toy. In fact, the BF calls J3 "Gerber," referring to his youthful age. Even on our first date, the BF jokingly wanted to text J3 and let him know that I was off the market, but I wouldn't let him. So, when my text tone sounded on Tuesday as we were getting dinner ready, we both got quite the laugh when the display showed J3.
Sunday then Tuesday. Persistent little thing. Well, at least very horny.
When I told the BF who it was, he said, "Tell him I say hi!" So, I did. Evil me sent this reply to his "Hey, what's up?" text: "Hey there! My boyfriend says hi."
I never got a response. Which is good.
Wednesday, April 3
Before I get to the date, today was the day I started gradually going public with the relationship. I had posted a Facebook status the night before about being ridiculously happy and lucky, and one of our mutual friends commented on it. So, I messaged her telling her why I was so happy... and who was making me so happy. I'll admit, I was a little uncertain about telling her who, because what if her response was, "HIM? Why are you dating that jerk?" My fears were unfounded, though, as she gave him a glowing endorsement and said she was over-the-moon happy for us both.
Tonight was the night we had originally set up for our second date, which was now our third, and at the same time just felt in many ways like our 300th -- and I mean that in a good way. While we still have a lot to get to know about each other, it really feels to me like I've known him so much longer than I have.
Maybe those romance writers have something right after all.
Simple dinner, bottle of wine, and then our musical geek-ness came out as we started sharing recordings and stories. Right now, I'm one up on the choral geek scale from him; we got into a rather intense discussion about a recording and what the piece was. (It was on a cassette tape -- yes, cassette -- and there was no listing of what was on it other than what Honor Choir it was.) After going round and round and both of us pulling up YouTube on our phones, I won. Don't doubt me when it comes to Mozart v. Vivaldi!
During that time, another mutual friend called, responding to a text message I'd sent him. I intentionally dropped the word "boyfriend" while on the phone with him, and he wasted no time in grilling me. Getting the green light from the BF, I told the friend who I was dating. He was ecstatic, gave us his blessing, all good things. Now the BF and I are debating as to how long it will be before the entire KC choral community knows we're dating.
Frivolity aside, the evening also included some very deep discussions. I've let him into some of the dark corners of my psyche and my self esteem issues; he opened up in great detail about previous hurts and struggles. I've not only even told him about this blog, but he's read the entries I've written about him. This is a connection that runs deep.
So, I left my spare toothbrush at his house. I think it looks better in his toothbrush holder than it does in my travel toiletries bag.
Thursday, April 4
Both the BF and I can be pranksters. We've been talking ever since we met about how to prank our friend L. He suggested we get cheap, fake "wedding rings" and announce we eloped. I said that would probably give her a heart attack. We discussed sending her messages about getting "cold feet" after our emailing and texting, or that I had been talking to some of my singer friends and was getting bad reports about him and I was concerned for my professional reputation, but we didn't do either of those.
I did send her an email that was about confirming the evening, but also "letting her know" that I had "recently met someone" that I felt a "really deep connection with." I went on to say that I was going to try to stay open-minded about this meeting with [BDJ] for good reasons, asked her not to ask about this "new guy," and encouraged her to not feel bad should there be no connection between me and [BDJ], because I really appreciated all that she had done.
I ran the draft past the BF, who loved it. He then decided that since I'll be getting there before him -- part of our friend L's plot, we discovered -- when he arrives he'll go for maximum shock value and just kiss me hello. I told him I was great with that, because no matter how much acting training I have had, I probably won't be able to hide the big, stupid, glowing grin on my face when I see him.
Friday, April 5 -- the "Blind Date"
Well... we didn't get the shock factor we'd been hoping for. No stunned reactions from our friends when we kissed hello. But, as the evening went on, their shock gradually became apparent because the evening was obviously going in a different direction than they had planned. They had expected to be facilitating conversation with two people who were just meeting, and instead they were on a double date with another couple.
The hardest part was the time there prior to his arrival. L, her husband, and I are sitting outside on a beautiful Spring evening. We have a pitcher of sangria and are ordering our tapas. Happy Hour and it's discounted prices were winding to a close, and "BDJ" (the BF) was not yet there. L's and her husband are trying to figure out if and what they should order for "BDJ," and complaining that he "isn't a very good texter." Meanwhile, I'm drawing on all my acting training to keep a straight, even disinterested, face, because I know the answers to all their questions. I could place an order for him, easily, and my phone is going nuts with messages, all messages coming from him, keeping me posted on where he was.
L did grill me, some, about what had happened. She then shared with me two things she and her husband had said after connecting us via email. Right now, I will only share one of those, which is that they somehow knew we'd meet before Friday.
Three pitchers of sangria, some tapas, some great conversation, then another cocktail at a private club, and a very enjoyable evening was had by all. Pictures of "the happy couple," as L calls us, were taken and posted on Facebook. And as we all know, once something is "Facebook official," then it's really, truly official.
So now that the relationship is out in the open, this blog will quietly wind down. If and when major, interesting, or humorous things happen, I may post. If, for some reason, I need the therapy that this blog has given me during the time I was on Match, I'll post. Otherwise, thank you, dear readers, for your love, humor, and support!! It's been an ... interesting ... 10 months to say the least!
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