The Second Date
I almost don't know where to begin. So, I'll take the advice of Julie Andrews via Maria von Trapp and just start at the very beginning, because it is a very good place to start.
We both had rough days and/or long weeks. My day wasn't actually that bad, but it's been a long, busy week. His day was rough. Our original plans were to meet at a movie theater and see "The Other Woman," a comedy that just opened today. I texted him letting him know I'd be hauling butt as soon as I could after teaching my Zumba class and would get to the theater around 7:00 - unless he wanted to change plans.
He did. He invited me over for wine at his place. I have to admit I was a little skeptical at first. Was he just inviting me over to put on the hardcore hustle? He told me he'd already had a drink and was rather relaxed. Was this going to be another guy who thought I was an easy mark for a good time and nothing more? I thought and mused and ultimately I ended up going over for that glass of wine.
Cue comedy of errors. He sent me his address. I plugged it into Google maps on my phone. I followed Google maps. Google maps led me to a lovely business park.
Try again, Google maps.
I re-entered his address. Google maps led me 2 miles further down the main road I was on. As I was approaching a right hand turn, suddenly it showed me driving where there was no road and telling me to turn where there was no place to turn. I made a legal U-turn and turned where I was supposed to. Into a neighborhood that was not his style. Right street, but the numbers on the homes were nowhere near his.
I re-entered the address. Again. It re-routed me. To the exact same place I was.
Not even close, Google maps.
I went to Apple maps - infamous Yahoo-driven Apple maps - and typed in his address. It routed me right to his house. Okay, it also did a weird thing showing my little blue dot veering off into never-never land, but at least the directions it gave me were accurate. So 20 minutes after I should have been at his place, I arrived.
We had a glass of wine and chatted and just unwound a little. We watched some TV, and then he decided he wanted to go to a movie after all. So we hopped in the car and off we went.
"The Other Woman" was basically sold out. This theater does assigned seating, and the only available seats were singles randomly scattered around the theater. "Transcendence" was our other option. No problem getting seats and - bonus! - it was in a theater where dining and table service was offered. Sweet! Dinner and a movie.
Dark theaters and dates can be an interesting combination. I've been messaging back and forth with "my yenta" as I've been writing this. I've picked up more than once that Bachelor #2 has had some rejection in the past, and none-too-kind at that. He said he's only been dumped once, but you don't have to be dumped to be rejected. Combine that with body image stigma that comes with major weight loss, something I know all too well, and I can understand the shifting between confident and insecure. So I told M, my yenta, that I need to be clear with my indications.
She replied that he was probably thankful for that, and I can confirm he was. Some clear indications from me resulted in other clear indications from him. Ah, movie theater cuddling. Which with someone who is 6'5" is not quite as easy as it sounds.
We're settling in, no question about it. The question isn't will there be more dates, but when is the next date. We aren't using the relationship terminology or anything yet. We're taking it nice and slow, which is a very welcome change after you-know-who. The attraction is something I'm still trying to figure out, particularly the physical. Sometimes I look at him and think, meh. Other times I'm much, much more positive. Much more. He wasn't blessed with a great profile, but facing him from the front... and besides, for me the big allure and chemistry comes with intelligence, personality, and those intangible connections. We have those.
And there is something rather attractive about a man who just wants to hold you for a bit at the end of a date and then give you a sweet, gentle kiss goodnight. Even if I, in 5" platform wedges on a slight hill higher than him, come just high enough so he can rest his chin on the crown of my head.
All in all, I'm a rather content woman right now. He's a bit silly and his Gemini tendencies sometimes pop out in conversation like he has ADD (squirrel!) but he's also a really good guy. No games, no false pretenses, no ridiculously inflated ego. So ever onward we go!
We both had rough days and/or long weeks. My day wasn't actually that bad, but it's been a long, busy week. His day was rough. Our original plans were to meet at a movie theater and see "The Other Woman," a comedy that just opened today. I texted him letting him know I'd be hauling butt as soon as I could after teaching my Zumba class and would get to the theater around 7:00 - unless he wanted to change plans.
He did. He invited me over for wine at his place. I have to admit I was a little skeptical at first. Was he just inviting me over to put on the hardcore hustle? He told me he'd already had a drink and was rather relaxed. Was this going to be another guy who thought I was an easy mark for a good time and nothing more? I thought and mused and ultimately I ended up going over for that glass of wine.
Cue comedy of errors. He sent me his address. I plugged it into Google maps on my phone. I followed Google maps. Google maps led me to a lovely business park.
Try again, Google maps.
I re-entered his address. Google maps led me 2 miles further down the main road I was on. As I was approaching a right hand turn, suddenly it showed me driving where there was no road and telling me to turn where there was no place to turn. I made a legal U-turn and turned where I was supposed to. Into a neighborhood that was not his style. Right street, but the numbers on the homes were nowhere near his.
I re-entered the address. Again. It re-routed me. To the exact same place I was.
Not even close, Google maps.
I went to Apple maps - infamous Yahoo-driven Apple maps - and typed in his address. It routed me right to his house. Okay, it also did a weird thing showing my little blue dot veering off into never-never land, but at least the directions it gave me were accurate. So 20 minutes after I should have been at his place, I arrived.
We had a glass of wine and chatted and just unwound a little. We watched some TV, and then he decided he wanted to go to a movie after all. So we hopped in the car and off we went.
"The Other Woman" was basically sold out. This theater does assigned seating, and the only available seats were singles randomly scattered around the theater. "Transcendence" was our other option. No problem getting seats and - bonus! - it was in a theater where dining and table service was offered. Sweet! Dinner and a movie.
Dark theaters and dates can be an interesting combination. I've been messaging back and forth with "my yenta" as I've been writing this. I've picked up more than once that Bachelor #2 has had some rejection in the past, and none-too-kind at that. He said he's only been dumped once, but you don't have to be dumped to be rejected. Combine that with body image stigma that comes with major weight loss, something I know all too well, and I can understand the shifting between confident and insecure. So I told M, my yenta, that I need to be clear with my indications.
She replied that he was probably thankful for that, and I can confirm he was. Some clear indications from me resulted in other clear indications from him. Ah, movie theater cuddling. Which with someone who is 6'5" is not quite as easy as it sounds.
We're settling in, no question about it. The question isn't will there be more dates, but when is the next date. We aren't using the relationship terminology or anything yet. We're taking it nice and slow, which is a very welcome change after you-know-who. The attraction is something I'm still trying to figure out, particularly the physical. Sometimes I look at him and think, meh. Other times I'm much, much more positive. Much more. He wasn't blessed with a great profile, but facing him from the front... and besides, for me the big allure and chemistry comes with intelligence, personality, and those intangible connections. We have those.
And there is something rather attractive about a man who just wants to hold you for a bit at the end of a date and then give you a sweet, gentle kiss goodnight. Even if I, in 5" platform wedges on a slight hill higher than him, come just high enough so he can rest his chin on the crown of my head.
All in all, I'm a rather content woman right now. He's a bit silly and his Gemini tendencies sometimes pop out in conversation like he has ADD (squirrel!) but he's also a really good guy. No games, no false pretenses, no ridiculously inflated ego. So ever onward we go!
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