Dear Universe: Stop.
Right now, I'm supposed to be having lunch with #6, G, because we're supposed to be on date #2. Except I'm sitting at my computer, 30 minutes away from the restaurant we'd agreed to meet at, wearing jeans shorts and the t-shirt I taught two fitness classes in this morning, watching my cat chase bugs on the patio through my office window.
At least I have a beer next to me.
G called about 1.5 hours before we were supposed to meet. He actually called, first on Face Time and then as a regular phone call, but I was teaching. The Cliff Notes version of his voicemail was that he'd put his car for sale on Craigslist and it sold unexpectedly rapidly, leaving him with a load of cash and no car (other than his motorcycle). He needed to remedy the car situation ASAP, understandably. What I don't understand is why he saw the person buying his car today, knowing he had this date, but I've also sold cars that way and I know that is someone is cash-in-hand, you take them when you can get them.
At first, I was rather pissed. I didn't know if I should cry or go for a strenuous workout to sweat out the anger. I hadn't worked out with either of my classes today because I was trying to stay as sweat-free as possible; I wouldn't be near a shower between the classes and the date. I ended up doing neither, because I do have to go run a rehearsal tonight and frankly I don't feel like showering a second time. Besides, the drive home helped give me cool-down time. So we are now playing phone tag to set up, yet again, date #2. In his voicemail, he even said that he wanted to try to find an evening, which to me is more... formal? more date-like? than a lunch date.
I think he knows he's got to do something if this is going to continue, if I'm going to still be sweet and overlook the fact that apparently in his personal life he's a hot mess. How on earth he can successfully run a restaurant or catering business is a little beyond me right now, but I also know plenty of people whose professional life is rock solid and their home life a disaster. I fall into that category.
Meanwhile, D is still in the picture, although not romantically. We've been communicating every day, multiple texts. We've largely kept it to the matter at hand - his composition - particularly last night when I was dealing with a couple of things with him while nursing a migraine. But this time, there was no question about the "we," since he flat-out said "We'll figure out how to work on it together" and that in the meantime he'd continue to work on it. I've let him know that I am comfortable with whatever he is comfortable with, meaning in person or via email methods. I do know it will be a challenge, at least the first time, to be around him. I have to respect the post-break up boundaries, which I certainly can do and have done with other guys. The trick is to do it without being stand-offish, distant, or bitchy. I struggle because with my good friends, I tend to be a touchy-feely-huggy kind of person. Can't do that with an ex until you've come to that unspoken agreement where that contact is okay.
It just seems like the universe is having a field day with me. First let's complicate things with Bachelor #6: will he ever go beyond the texting every couple of days? He does, and hey! Date #2! Then let's introduce crazy army guy and launch creepy drama! How are we going to get out of this? Why, we bring back the ex, of course! The one she still cares about! Mwahahaha! And on top of that, we know her weak spot, so we'll make sure she gets into a position where she will be hearing from him regularly! Oh, now let's screw with that date with #6, shall we? Tuesday? No good! Reschedule it for Wednesday! But wait -- last minute change! *maniacal laughter*
Good Lord, my life IS a soap opera.
I wouldn't be surprised if some of my faithful religious friends are viewing all this as God clearing the path back to the ex. Every other guy is getting knocked out in some way, and Match has been quiet. The only consistent communication is coming from D. Ergo, God is trying to point me in a certain direction.
But... I'm too jaded. I'm too cynical. I know better than to get up false hope or to look for pots of gold where there are likely to be none. It isn't that I'm not open to God's plan or will or whatever your theology states. I just know that sometimes paths seem to be clearly God when they aren't. It's easy to think that D has an ulterior motive for sending me the piece and asking me to work on it. Why now? When he asked, he did say "I know there's no good time to send this to you, but..." Perhaps he was just feeling assured that I'd be open to it after the birthday card thing. Heck, I know what it is like to want to reach out to someone but be unsure how they will react, and in his case his last couple of relationship endings have resulted in the woman being a super bitch even though the split was initially okay. But I have to keep in mind that guys tend to be more simple than women give them credit for, and chances are his motive is straight-forward: he wanted a transcription and I'm the only person he knows who has those skills.
So we move forward, one day at a time. Well, more like one text and one phone call at a time. Sometimes I wonder if it's really worth it, but then there are those moments that when they do happen, you wouldn't trade them for the world. Life isn't about the big things, no matter what we think. It's really about all those little memories.
Besides, I fully intend to be that lady in the nursing home who might have been a spinster, but boy, does she have some stories to tell!
At least I have a beer next to me.
G called about 1.5 hours before we were supposed to meet. He actually called, first on Face Time and then as a regular phone call, but I was teaching. The Cliff Notes version of his voicemail was that he'd put his car for sale on Craigslist and it sold unexpectedly rapidly, leaving him with a load of cash and no car (other than his motorcycle). He needed to remedy the car situation ASAP, understandably. What I don't understand is why he saw the person buying his car today, knowing he had this date, but I've also sold cars that way and I know that is someone is cash-in-hand, you take them when you can get them.
At first, I was rather pissed. I didn't know if I should cry or go for a strenuous workout to sweat out the anger. I hadn't worked out with either of my classes today because I was trying to stay as sweat-free as possible; I wouldn't be near a shower between the classes and the date. I ended up doing neither, because I do have to go run a rehearsal tonight and frankly I don't feel like showering a second time. Besides, the drive home helped give me cool-down time. So we are now playing phone tag to set up, yet again, date #2. In his voicemail, he even said that he wanted to try to find an evening, which to me is more... formal? more date-like? than a lunch date.
I think he knows he's got to do something if this is going to continue, if I'm going to still be sweet and overlook the fact that apparently in his personal life he's a hot mess. How on earth he can successfully run a restaurant or catering business is a little beyond me right now, but I also know plenty of people whose professional life is rock solid and their home life a disaster. I fall into that category.
Meanwhile, D is still in the picture, although not romantically. We've been communicating every day, multiple texts. We've largely kept it to the matter at hand - his composition - particularly last night when I was dealing with a couple of things with him while nursing a migraine. But this time, there was no question about the "we," since he flat-out said "We'll figure out how to work on it together" and that in the meantime he'd continue to work on it. I've let him know that I am comfortable with whatever he is comfortable with, meaning in person or via email methods. I do know it will be a challenge, at least the first time, to be around him. I have to respect the post-break up boundaries, which I certainly can do and have done with other guys. The trick is to do it without being stand-offish, distant, or bitchy. I struggle because with my good friends, I tend to be a touchy-feely-huggy kind of person. Can't do that with an ex until you've come to that unspoken agreement where that contact is okay.
It just seems like the universe is having a field day with me. First let's complicate things with Bachelor #6: will he ever go beyond the texting every couple of days? He does, and hey! Date #2! Then let's introduce crazy army guy and launch creepy drama! How are we going to get out of this? Why, we bring back the ex, of course! The one she still cares about! Mwahahaha! And on top of that, we know her weak spot, so we'll make sure she gets into a position where she will be hearing from him regularly! Oh, now let's screw with that date with #6, shall we? Tuesday? No good! Reschedule it for Wednesday! But wait -- last minute change! *maniacal laughter*
Good Lord, my life IS a soap opera.
I wouldn't be surprised if some of my faithful religious friends are viewing all this as God clearing the path back to the ex. Every other guy is getting knocked out in some way, and Match has been quiet. The only consistent communication is coming from D. Ergo, God is trying to point me in a certain direction.
But... I'm too jaded. I'm too cynical. I know better than to get up false hope or to look for pots of gold where there are likely to be none. It isn't that I'm not open to God's plan or will or whatever your theology states. I just know that sometimes paths seem to be clearly God when they aren't. It's easy to think that D has an ulterior motive for sending me the piece and asking me to work on it. Why now? When he asked, he did say "I know there's no good time to send this to you, but..." Perhaps he was just feeling assured that I'd be open to it after the birthday card thing. Heck, I know what it is like to want to reach out to someone but be unsure how they will react, and in his case his last couple of relationship endings have resulted in the woman being a super bitch even though the split was initially okay. But I have to keep in mind that guys tend to be more simple than women give them credit for, and chances are his motive is straight-forward: he wanted a transcription and I'm the only person he knows who has those skills.
So we move forward, one day at a time. Well, more like one text and one phone call at a time. Sometimes I wonder if it's really worth it, but then there are those moments that when they do happen, you wouldn't trade them for the world. Life isn't about the big things, no matter what we think. It's really about all those little memories.
Besides, I fully intend to be that lady in the nursing home who might have been a spinster, but boy, does she have some stories to tell!
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