Why Do We Bother?
Love is a very difficult and awkward thing. Even more so are relationships. Now right now, things are as they have been with Mr. P and myself -- no major changes in either direction. Yet in my world around me, I am seeing my friends struggle with their own relationships. It is almost enough to make me say, "Why do I bother?"
I have lived, mostly happy, for 36 years without a partner. Yes, I've been lonely at times, lately more often than not. It's not about sex. While sex is certainly a big part of any successful relationship, sex is not the foundation. Honestly, one can get sex anytime they want it; there are plenty of websites out there where you can find a one night stand, a hook-up, at any time. Being lonely is about having the desire for someone to share the mundane with, someone that you can call or text whenever something strikes your fancy, someone who will hold you when you've had a bad day or cheer you on when things are going great.
In the past couple of weeks, I have talked with two friends who have confided in me details of their marriages -- marriages that are now on the rocks, in full-on separation. In one case, the wife gave the husband the ultimatum, and he ended up moving out so both could have their space. In the other case, the wife made the choice to leave. Both of these women I would've previously classified as being in "stable," if not "happy," marriages. It's been somewhat hard; my heart goes out to them. It also makes me feel a little guilty for being so excited about my budding... whatever this is.
No matter what the doctors or scientists might say, the heart -- the emotional heart -- is the most fragile part of our bodies, of our beings. When we find someone to love, we place in their hands this extremely delicate entity. It is the demonstration of ultimate trust. Without that trust, we do not really have a true relationship. And with a single action, that heart -- and that trust -- can be shattered into a thousand pieces. No matter how skilled the craftsman, a broken heart is never the same.
Why do we open ourselves up to such intimacy, and such a danger of despair? Because we were not meant to walk this world alone. We were meant to be with someone, and in my opinion, a someone that God has set aside for us, a someone who society has no right to pass judgment upon. What a fantastic yet beautiful risk we take when we place our delicate hearts in the hands of someone else.
I do hope someday to find that person, the one that God has chosen for me. I hope that this person is ready to treat my delicate heart with the same love and tenderness that I will treat his. And if he doesn't, it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
I have lived, mostly happy, for 36 years without a partner. Yes, I've been lonely at times, lately more often than not. It's not about sex. While sex is certainly a big part of any successful relationship, sex is not the foundation. Honestly, one can get sex anytime they want it; there are plenty of websites out there where you can find a one night stand, a hook-up, at any time. Being lonely is about having the desire for someone to share the mundane with, someone that you can call or text whenever something strikes your fancy, someone who will hold you when you've had a bad day or cheer you on when things are going great.
In the past couple of weeks, I have talked with two friends who have confided in me details of their marriages -- marriages that are now on the rocks, in full-on separation. In one case, the wife gave the husband the ultimatum, and he ended up moving out so both could have their space. In the other case, the wife made the choice to leave. Both of these women I would've previously classified as being in "stable," if not "happy," marriages. It's been somewhat hard; my heart goes out to them. It also makes me feel a little guilty for being so excited about my budding... whatever this is.
No matter what the doctors or scientists might say, the heart -- the emotional heart -- is the most fragile part of our bodies, of our beings. When we find someone to love, we place in their hands this extremely delicate entity. It is the demonstration of ultimate trust. Without that trust, we do not really have a true relationship. And with a single action, that heart -- and that trust -- can be shattered into a thousand pieces. No matter how skilled the craftsman, a broken heart is never the same.
Why do we open ourselves up to such intimacy, and such a danger of despair? Because we were not meant to walk this world alone. We were meant to be with someone, and in my opinion, a someone that God has set aside for us, a someone who society has no right to pass judgment upon. What a fantastic yet beautiful risk we take when we place our delicate hearts in the hands of someone else.
I do hope someday to find that person, the one that God has chosen for me. I hope that this person is ready to treat my delicate heart with the same love and tenderness that I will treat his. And if he doesn't, it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
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