My Gut...

A woman's instinct is something that cannot be scientifically quantified.  We are, by nature, extremely emotional beings, and perhaps this is why we are more sensitive to the actions and demeanor of others.  This, in turn, allows us to pick up on the subtle clues that others may not even be aware they are sending.

It can also turn us into emotional wrecks.

Piggy-backing on this morning's post, right now I am in a funk.  Logic and emotions are waging a vicious battle in my brain, and I'm having a horrid time shaking off the feeling that I need to move on because my gut is convinced that P is.  Now, there is absolutely no logical reason for this, no messages, no indicators.  Just my gut, and it has been known to be wrong.

I texted him on my way home from work.  The entire text read "Just sayin hi."  I haven't gotten a reply yet, and that was a hour and a half ago.  Part of me is freaking out over this, and part of me is well aware it isn't the first time it has taken him hours to reply.  Also, that wasn't necessarily a text that demanded a reply, although one would certainly have been nice.  Deep breaths.

So I decided to go out on Match, do what I could to keep my guarantee.  (It turns out I misinterpreted some icons and it looks like my hiatus did cost me my guarantee. C'est la vie.)  Match has an IM feature, and guess who was on-line -- at least, according to Match.  Yep, P.  Guess who didn't respond to an IM.  Yep, P.

Here's where I do have to share a disclaimer.  If you are on Match via mobile, such as on your iPhone, you will show up as "on-line," although you really aren't.  I know this because at one point we were discussing our profiles and he said he had no idea what his looked like to other people... so I pulled out my iPhone and pulled up his profile.  It showed me then that he was "available for IM" but he really wasn't.

Now here's really where the intersection of logic and emotion results in a crazy accident (although not as crazy as the one that made me late to work).  Unless he's met someone else -- entirely possible -- what on earth and heaven has changed since Wednesday?  He was very gung-ho after our date.  Did he reflect and ultimately cool off?  Then why has he been responding to texts?  Why am I so determined to push this envelope?  Why do I, at 36, not have the patience to go a day with him in town and not contact him?

I talked to my mother about this.  Bless her heart, my mother had extremely limited experience with dating before meeting my father, so she's not exactly my yenta.  Still, she's my mom.  She told me that after she met my father, this was exactly how she felt -- at least the disappointment when there was no reply, the fear that he wouldn't want to see her again, etc.  Certainly to an extent dating is different now; technology has made communication practically instantaneous so expectations have changed accordingly.  However, the boy-meets-girl, girl-gets-obsessed scenario hasn't changed since Adam and Eve, really.

I think I hear the ice cream calling me from the freezer.  Sigh.