I Feel Like I'm Back in Middle School
Teenage angst. That's the stuff that what's-her-name, the author of those "Twilight" books, Stephanie Meyer? has made a gazillion dollars off of. And it's the stuff that I thought I left behind when I became a 30-something.
Apparently not. Now that I'm seriously interested in a guy, I'm being reminded of all the times where I had a crush and I waited practically by the phone to see if they would call me. (Because, of course, this was before email, Facebook, and text messaging. Heck, caller ID wasn't even a common thing.) Do I call him? If I do, will I come across pushy? Or needy? Or desperate? Or is he one of those guys who wants the woman to be more aggressive? Should I wait for him to contact me? Is he playing "hard to get," as the advice websites say?
Oh, the dilemmas.
First off, let me say that P has been very good about communication. Granted, he tends to text at unusual times, but I'm preferring to look at this in the positive. For example, today's text conversation went like this:
P: Do you wake up when you get texts?
Me: Usually. At least for a couple minutes.
P: Oops.
Me: I can always choose to ignore them and go back to sleep.
Me: Or, I reply. Don't worry about waking me, please.
P: Lol. Well I'm going to roll over and go back to sleep before my whirlwind trip. Talk to you soon.
Odd? Not if you consider that was held at 3:45 in the morning. Some people may see being awakened at 3:45 as a pain in the arse. Perhaps it's my infatuation level, but I'm preferring to see it as he's having a touch of insomnia and who does he think of? Me. Ergo, this is a good sign!
I haven't heard from him the rest of today, but I know that he was working all day and then flying out this afternoon to go to Seattle to visit his twin brother. He's said several times he'll be in touch, so I'm going to let him have his boys weekend and if he decides to text or call me... well, if it's in the middle of the night he's two hours earlier than me so 3:45 for him would be 5:45 for me and not that far before my alarm is going off! And of course, here's hoping I don't crumble and send him a "thinking of you" text, although that probably wouldn't be the end of the world.
Here's where I should probably share more about the date. Being a theater person, I tend to be sensitive to body language. Our date started with a somewhat awkward hug, but in many ways I prefer an awkward hug to a handshake, because, really, it's a date. As the date progressed, he kept finding ways to enter my personal space, particularly face-to-face, and his chair kept getting closer to mine. The date ended with another hug, but this one much less awkward and with the body language of "I am interested in you." And of course, there was all the verbal "when I get back from my trip, I'll be in touch (because I want to see you again)" stuff, which I eagerly affirmed.
So that, along with our "morning after" conversation, is part of why I feel so positive towards this developing into something.
In the midst of all this, I'm finding myself in another unknown situation -- having to tell others guys "no, thank you." One who contacted me would've gotten that reply whether or not P was in the picture. Frankly, a profile devoid of ANY grammar or punctuation is going to be rejected by me. That's who I am, and that isn't going to change. Another was a guy who showed up in my matches and I said "maybe," and he decided to contact me. He's a gym rat, a weights guy, who dislikes cardio. That's a great start with someone who teaches Zumba. We've exchanged a couple of very brief emails, and tonight I told him that I'd just met someone and wanted to see where it was going to go and that I wasn't fond of "seeing" multiple guys at a time, but I tried to leave the door open. He may shut it completely, and I won't be disappointed. And of course there was "cheesy pick-up line guy," who got a "that's very sweet of you, but I just met someone" response.
Am I shallow for writing him back directly instead of using Match's pre-written "no thank you" emails, simply so I could satisfy the contact requirement of my 6 month guarantee? Possibly. See, Match's guarantee requires you to 1) keep your profile visible, 2) have pictures, and 3) be in contact with at least 5 different members in a 30 day period in order to keep the "find someone in 6 months or get another 6 months free" guarantee. If things work out with P, I'll consider the $75 or whatever it was I spent on a 6 month membership money very well spent.
Until then, I'm going to try to be a mature lady about this... and not obsessively wait by the phone for his texts.
Apparently not. Now that I'm seriously interested in a guy, I'm being reminded of all the times where I had a crush and I waited practically by the phone to see if they would call me. (Because, of course, this was before email, Facebook, and text messaging. Heck, caller ID wasn't even a common thing.) Do I call him? If I do, will I come across pushy? Or needy? Or desperate? Or is he one of those guys who wants the woman to be more aggressive? Should I wait for him to contact me? Is he playing "hard to get," as the advice websites say?
Oh, the dilemmas.
First off, let me say that P has been very good about communication. Granted, he tends to text at unusual times, but I'm preferring to look at this in the positive. For example, today's text conversation went like this:
P: Do you wake up when you get texts?
Me: Usually. At least for a couple minutes.
P: Oops.
Me: I can always choose to ignore them and go back to sleep.
Me: Or, I reply. Don't worry about waking me, please.
P: Lol. Well I'm going to roll over and go back to sleep before my whirlwind trip. Talk to you soon.
Odd? Not if you consider that was held at 3:45 in the morning. Some people may see being awakened at 3:45 as a pain in the arse. Perhaps it's my infatuation level, but I'm preferring to see it as he's having a touch of insomnia and who does he think of? Me. Ergo, this is a good sign!
I haven't heard from him the rest of today, but I know that he was working all day and then flying out this afternoon to go to Seattle to visit his twin brother. He's said several times he'll be in touch, so I'm going to let him have his boys weekend and if he decides to text or call me... well, if it's in the middle of the night he's two hours earlier than me so 3:45 for him would be 5:45 for me and not that far before my alarm is going off! And of course, here's hoping I don't crumble and send him a "thinking of you" text, although that probably wouldn't be the end of the world.
Here's where I should probably share more about the date. Being a theater person, I tend to be sensitive to body language. Our date started with a somewhat awkward hug, but in many ways I prefer an awkward hug to a handshake, because, really, it's a date. As the date progressed, he kept finding ways to enter my personal space, particularly face-to-face, and his chair kept getting closer to mine. The date ended with another hug, but this one much less awkward and with the body language of "I am interested in you." And of course, there was all the verbal "when I get back from my trip, I'll be in touch (because I want to see you again)" stuff, which I eagerly affirmed.
So that, along with our "morning after" conversation, is part of why I feel so positive towards this developing into something.
In the midst of all this, I'm finding myself in another unknown situation -- having to tell others guys "no, thank you." One who contacted me would've gotten that reply whether or not P was in the picture. Frankly, a profile devoid of ANY grammar or punctuation is going to be rejected by me. That's who I am, and that isn't going to change. Another was a guy who showed up in my matches and I said "maybe," and he decided to contact me. He's a gym rat, a weights guy, who dislikes cardio. That's a great start with someone who teaches Zumba. We've exchanged a couple of very brief emails, and tonight I told him that I'd just met someone and wanted to see where it was going to go and that I wasn't fond of "seeing" multiple guys at a time, but I tried to leave the door open. He may shut it completely, and I won't be disappointed. And of course there was "cheesy pick-up line guy," who got a "that's very sweet of you, but I just met someone" response.
Am I shallow for writing him back directly instead of using Match's pre-written "no thank you" emails, simply so I could satisfy the contact requirement of my 6 month guarantee? Possibly. See, Match's guarantee requires you to 1) keep your profile visible, 2) have pictures, and 3) be in contact with at least 5 different members in a 30 day period in order to keep the "find someone in 6 months or get another 6 months free" guarantee. If things work out with P, I'll consider the $75 or whatever it was I spent on a 6 month membership money very well spent.
Until then, I'm going to try to be a mature lady about this... and not obsessively wait by the phone for his texts.
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