3 Out of 4
In many things, 3 out of 4 is a pretty good percentage. Anyone playing baseball would love to go 3 for 4 at the plate, batting .750. The typical basketball player would love to be shooting 75%, especially if we're talking 3 pointers.
Sometimes, 3 out of 4 is only average. Getting 3 out of 4 questions correct on an exam, for one. Or, hearing about a new drug that 3 out of 4 doctors agree would be effective. (For me, at least, that's sort of like 3 out of 4 doctors agreeing that you don't have cancer. I believe the term I'm looking for is reasonable doubt.)
And every now and then, 3 out of 4 is just pushy.
So far, I've received 4 emails from Bachelor #7, K. I've never had to wait more than 8 or 10 hours for a reply. And 3 of his 4 emails have reiterated the point in no uncertain terms that he wants to go on a coffee date. It is something that he is "really looking forward to."
Hmmmm.
I have to be frank. I'm just not that into him, as Greg Behrens would say. I do realize I could be missing out on a big connection because my head is overwhelmed with hormones and sex drive. When I first started communicating with Bachelor #1, T, every email, every text message put a stupid grin on my face. With Bachelors #2 and #3, getting texts and messages from them made me happy. With P, every time I hear his text message tone, my heart starts racing and a twinkle comes to my eye. Even when we started out communicating on Match, seeing I had an email from him was all it took to make my day, and I found myself checking my personal email obsessively during work to see if I had a reply from him.
I just haven't ever felt that way with K.
I'll probably end up going on the date, unless things shift between me and P into the more serious realm. Right now, I feel like I'm in a position where it is easier to do that and then say, "it was nice to meet you, but I'm just not feeling the connection" instead of just stopping communication with him now. Perhaps it's my inner optimist coming through, or my overall "I'm way too nice" personality. It's just a cup of coffee and an hour or two of my time.
I'm probably also reacting to something that happened to me almost 10 years ago. I was living in Miami at the time and had reactivated my "play" screen name on AOL. This was the screen name that I used exclusively for my personal ad and for meeting guys, a trick I picked up from an ex-lover. I'd met someone through that and we'd progressed to the talking on the phone stage. It only took two phone calls before he was calling me a "fucking slut tease" because here I'd posted this profile and ad, but wouldn't just come and jump him immediately. It was the first time -- and really the only time so far -- that someone has called me something so nasty when it came to sex and relationships.
That one experience, especially since my practical experience with guys is somewhat limited, has left me hypersensitive to leading a guy on. I fear that I may have been doing that with K, simply because of my own questions and insecurities about P. I've been around, working on dating with more than 4 guys, but it feels like I've got my own 3-for-4 thing going. 3 out of 4 guys agree I'm not a slut tease.
I've said it before, I'll say it again. At this rate, I should just get it tattooed on my body somewhere.
No one said this would be easy.
Sometimes, 3 out of 4 is only average. Getting 3 out of 4 questions correct on an exam, for one. Or, hearing about a new drug that 3 out of 4 doctors agree would be effective. (For me, at least, that's sort of like 3 out of 4 doctors agreeing that you don't have cancer. I believe the term I'm looking for is reasonable doubt.)
And every now and then, 3 out of 4 is just pushy.
So far, I've received 4 emails from Bachelor #7, K. I've never had to wait more than 8 or 10 hours for a reply. And 3 of his 4 emails have reiterated the point in no uncertain terms that he wants to go on a coffee date. It is something that he is "really looking forward to."
Hmmmm.
I have to be frank. I'm just not that into him, as Greg Behrens would say. I do realize I could be missing out on a big connection because my head is overwhelmed with hormones and sex drive. When I first started communicating with Bachelor #1, T, every email, every text message put a stupid grin on my face. With Bachelors #2 and #3, getting texts and messages from them made me happy. With P, every time I hear his text message tone, my heart starts racing and a twinkle comes to my eye. Even when we started out communicating on Match, seeing I had an email from him was all it took to make my day, and I found myself checking my personal email obsessively during work to see if I had a reply from him.
I just haven't ever felt that way with K.
I'll probably end up going on the date, unless things shift between me and P into the more serious realm. Right now, I feel like I'm in a position where it is easier to do that and then say, "it was nice to meet you, but I'm just not feeling the connection" instead of just stopping communication with him now. Perhaps it's my inner optimist coming through, or my overall "I'm way too nice" personality. It's just a cup of coffee and an hour or two of my time.
I'm probably also reacting to something that happened to me almost 10 years ago. I was living in Miami at the time and had reactivated my "play" screen name on AOL. This was the screen name that I used exclusively for my personal ad and for meeting guys, a trick I picked up from an ex-lover. I'd met someone through that and we'd progressed to the talking on the phone stage. It only took two phone calls before he was calling me a "fucking slut tease" because here I'd posted this profile and ad, but wouldn't just come and jump him immediately. It was the first time -- and really the only time so far -- that someone has called me something so nasty when it came to sex and relationships.
That one experience, especially since my practical experience with guys is somewhat limited, has left me hypersensitive to leading a guy on. I fear that I may have been doing that with K, simply because of my own questions and insecurities about P. I've been around, working on dating with more than 4 guys, but it feels like I've got my own 3-for-4 thing going. 3 out of 4 guys agree I'm not a slut tease.
I've said it before, I'll say it again. At this rate, I should just get it tattooed on my body somewhere.
No one said this would be easy.
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