Excuse Me As I LOL
I've been spending part of my evening sitting on my balcony doing "research." At least, that's what I call playing around on sites like Cosmopolitan.com, seeing what deep insights they have into men, sex, relationships, etc. Good for a giggle, especially after a glass of Shiraz.
The first "article" I checked out was something about what men want to see women wear in bed. After going through the 12 slides, I concluded the answer was: pretty much anything goes. Each answer included a quote from a guy, but there wasn't any statistical support or anything. One of the slides was "a Derek Jeter jersey and nothing else." Okay... what if your man isn't a Yankee's fan? What if your man isn't into sports at all? (That would be my current situation.) Real helpful, Cosmo, real helpful! Other suggestions: absolutely nothing (duh), boxers & a tank, corset & garters (soooo comfortable), a tight T, silky underwear, something of his, and a nice nightgown.
I think I strained a muscle or two rolling my eyes.
Then I started playing around on the quizzes. Here's where it got really humorous.
The first time I took the quiz that supposedly assessed my guy radar, if I was able to tell if a guy was into me, I got "blind babe." That, I think, was pretty much on the mark. But there was one question that I really couldn't decide on which answer to choose, so I retook the quiz, changing that one answer. That put me in the "on the mark!" category.
If you've been keeping up with this blog, you should be laughing right now.
Then there was the "Single Man Trivia" quiz. This was longer and actually based on an empirical survey. It was all true/false questions about guys... you know, "51% of men prefer blondes." (Which, by the way, is false. The group surveyed listed brunettes as their preferred hair color. Rock on, baby!!) On that, I scored 11 out of 12. I was declared an "expert" in understanding single men, that my "rare insight" should make me the go-to person for all my friends.
If you weren't laughing before, I hope you are doing so now. Because I am!
Moments of levity aside, here's a quick update on my love life.
After Friday's night getting-in-touch-with-my-inner-whore romp with P, that is cruising along just fine. To put it nicely, he was very impressed with my talents and it is pretty clear that round 2 is inevitable. In fact, there was a pretty racy round of sexting earlier today that had me, at one point, thinking it might be tonight but he's since dropped off the radar. I'm refusing to get all mopey and assuming the worst, because every time I do it turns out I was waaaaay off the mark. (Remember, I'm supposed to be all insightful when it comes to guys. HA HA HA!) But, it's not easy once that "what if he's on a date with another woman" thought pops into your head. I have, however, taken a certain amount of consolation in our post-coital interactions after reading an article on a more reliable website. First of all, according to this article, sociologists believe that men need sex to help them determine an emotional connection -- the conquest then becomes that which he desires to protect mindset -- which means that for P, sex was likely a strong way to ensure my feelings for him/assuage his insecurities, and secondly, all of his post-romp body language in our positioning, etc., was extremely positive. So, even if he IS on another date, at least he knows what he's missing.
Then there's Bachelor #7, K. His long, long, long email (did I mention it was long?) including links to some videos of his (he had a brief career doing stand-up, apparently) I've read but not really dug into just yet. I sent him a quick reply -- it's been 3 days -- saying I've read it but haven't had time to check out the links and such, that it's been a crazy weekend and I hope to get to it soon. The only reason I did that at all was because in his email, he said if "he never heard from me again after this email, he'd understand." Great. One of the self-deprecating wounded types.
Oh, and now we have Bachelor #8. This is one that has me shaking my head. He was one of the very first connections I made on Match. He winked, I winked back. Crickets. I commented on one of his pictures. Mars rover zapped some rocks. He emailed me, the entire message being "Your cute." (I believe I have referred to this before as libido-crushing grammar.) I never replied, mostly because I'd met P by then. He "favorited" me, and today he winked again, because after a certain period of time Match eliminates your communications with guys if you haven't been keeping it active and it allows you to wink at folks again that you may have previously winked at. (It also means that the only way I can now access P's profile is by going through my personal email inbox and finding his old messages.) Not sure what I'll do with this one, although I'll probably wink back in the next day or two, depending on what happens with P.
Oh, and we have a new "wink" from a guy who will not be getting a reply. Sorry, thanks for playing, we have a lovely consolation prize for you at the door.
So ends another day in the life of a single woman in KC... headed to bed, alone... but with some interesting thoughts and recent memories to keep me company.
The first "article" I checked out was something about what men want to see women wear in bed. After going through the 12 slides, I concluded the answer was: pretty much anything goes. Each answer included a quote from a guy, but there wasn't any statistical support or anything. One of the slides was "a Derek Jeter jersey and nothing else." Okay... what if your man isn't a Yankee's fan? What if your man isn't into sports at all? (That would be my current situation.) Real helpful, Cosmo, real helpful! Other suggestions: absolutely nothing (duh), boxers & a tank, corset & garters (soooo comfortable), a tight T, silky underwear, something of his, and a nice nightgown.
I think I strained a muscle or two rolling my eyes.
Then I started playing around on the quizzes. Here's where it got really humorous.
The first time I took the quiz that supposedly assessed my guy radar, if I was able to tell if a guy was into me, I got "blind babe." That, I think, was pretty much on the mark. But there was one question that I really couldn't decide on which answer to choose, so I retook the quiz, changing that one answer. That put me in the "on the mark!" category.
If you've been keeping up with this blog, you should be laughing right now.
Then there was the "Single Man Trivia" quiz. This was longer and actually based on an empirical survey. It was all true/false questions about guys... you know, "51% of men prefer blondes." (Which, by the way, is false. The group surveyed listed brunettes as their preferred hair color. Rock on, baby!!) On that, I scored 11 out of 12. I was declared an "expert" in understanding single men, that my "rare insight" should make me the go-to person for all my friends.
If you weren't laughing before, I hope you are doing so now. Because I am!
Moments of levity aside, here's a quick update on my love life.
After Friday's night getting-in-touch-with-my-inner-whore romp with P, that is cruising along just fine. To put it nicely, he was very impressed with my talents and it is pretty clear that round 2 is inevitable. In fact, there was a pretty racy round of sexting earlier today that had me, at one point, thinking it might be tonight but he's since dropped off the radar. I'm refusing to get all mopey and assuming the worst, because every time I do it turns out I was waaaaay off the mark. (Remember, I'm supposed to be all insightful when it comes to guys. HA HA HA!) But, it's not easy once that "what if he's on a date with another woman" thought pops into your head. I have, however, taken a certain amount of consolation in our post-coital interactions after reading an article on a more reliable website. First of all, according to this article, sociologists believe that men need sex to help them determine an emotional connection -- the conquest then becomes that which he desires to protect mindset -- which means that for P, sex was likely a strong way to ensure my feelings for him/assuage his insecurities, and secondly, all of his post-romp body language in our positioning, etc., was extremely positive. So, even if he IS on another date, at least he knows what he's missing.
Then there's Bachelor #7, K. His long, long, long email (did I mention it was long?) including links to some videos of his (he had a brief career doing stand-up, apparently) I've read but not really dug into just yet. I sent him a quick reply -- it's been 3 days -- saying I've read it but haven't had time to check out the links and such, that it's been a crazy weekend and I hope to get to it soon. The only reason I did that at all was because in his email, he said if "he never heard from me again after this email, he'd understand." Great. One of the self-deprecating wounded types.
Oh, and now we have Bachelor #8. This is one that has me shaking my head. He was one of the very first connections I made on Match. He winked, I winked back. Crickets. I commented on one of his pictures. Mars rover zapped some rocks. He emailed me, the entire message being "Your cute." (I believe I have referred to this before as libido-crushing grammar.) I never replied, mostly because I'd met P by then. He "favorited" me, and today he winked again, because after a certain period of time Match eliminates your communications with guys if you haven't been keeping it active and it allows you to wink at folks again that you may have previously winked at. (It also means that the only way I can now access P's profile is by going through my personal email inbox and finding his old messages.) Not sure what I'll do with this one, although I'll probably wink back in the next day or two, depending on what happens with P.
Oh, and we have a new "wink" from a guy who will not be getting a reply. Sorry, thanks for playing, we have a lovely consolation prize for you at the door.
So ends another day in the life of a single woman in KC... headed to bed, alone... but with some interesting thoughts and recent memories to keep me company.
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