Possible Hiatus
There's a pretty good chance I'll be taking a hiatus from this blog for a while. No, I'm not dropping off the dating radar like I did a couple months ago, on the edge of disillusionment and burn-out from multiple bad dates and emails and the like. This would be for a different reason.
I started this blog initially as a way to chronicle the various dates I went on and the men I "met" through the site. I envisioned this to be a series of humorous, snarky posts about the bad profiles, the cheesy pick-up lines in emails, the mediocre coffee or drink dates, with maybe a bright spot or two along the way. Frankly, because of my history with men, I flat out expected my 6 month membership to Match to run its course without me finding anyone. I'd struck out with a local online dating service in Houston, and again a decade later here in KC with eHarmony. Why should Match be any different, thought ever-cynical me.
Then I got a "wink" from P, which changed the course of things in ways I wasn't expecting.
I just got home from spending some time with him. Yes, there was physical intimacy involved, but we also had a really good conversation. The key point from that conversation, as far as this blog is concerned, is that we both agreed that we need to spend more time together. Clothed. In addition to less-than-clothed, of course. I raised the point; he agreed without any hesitation.
I'm not going to go into my usual analytical depths about our time together, the body language, and all that. From the start, we've had a certain synergy with the sex, and that continues. Just when I was thinking I was going to have to speak up and ask for various things, he somehow knew it and responded accordingly. But that aside, I'm much more encouraged by the conversation, honestly.
It wasn't just post-coital, "let's keep the woman happy" chit chat. This was conversation as intense as our first date. Conversation where he could express his strong opinions, and I would hold my own, with the subjects as varied as they were that night over 6 weeks ago. While we haven't had the "relationship" talk, at this point I feel very comfortable with where things are and I don't feel weird when I refer to him as my boyfriend.
Am I his girlfriend? That's for him to decide.
We'll see when we have dinner or something later this week. I texted him when I got home (as usual) and also said "I know our schedules are nuts, but let's see if we can find time maybe next weekend for dinner or something." He immediately replied in the positive.
I can't quite explain well why I feel so good about this. Over the past week I've seen the communication pendulum swing from regular conversation to hardcore sexting and back, all of which has ultimately been a good thing. The in-person communication, though... I think that is what is really doing it for me. It's not huge things, nothing that would change the world as we know it, but just gradual shifts into that comfort zone of two people who genuinely want to know each other and who care. Things like asking how my school year is going, and caring about the answer.
If I do end up taking a hiatus, I'll be sure to let you know and I will still post occasionally about goofy relationship stuff. After all, even in a "relationship," it is still "dating."
I started this blog initially as a way to chronicle the various dates I went on and the men I "met" through the site. I envisioned this to be a series of humorous, snarky posts about the bad profiles, the cheesy pick-up lines in emails, the mediocre coffee or drink dates, with maybe a bright spot or two along the way. Frankly, because of my history with men, I flat out expected my 6 month membership to Match to run its course without me finding anyone. I'd struck out with a local online dating service in Houston, and again a decade later here in KC with eHarmony. Why should Match be any different, thought ever-cynical me.
Then I got a "wink" from P, which changed the course of things in ways I wasn't expecting.
I just got home from spending some time with him. Yes, there was physical intimacy involved, but we also had a really good conversation. The key point from that conversation, as far as this blog is concerned, is that we both agreed that we need to spend more time together. Clothed. In addition to less-than-clothed, of course. I raised the point; he agreed without any hesitation.
I'm not going to go into my usual analytical depths about our time together, the body language, and all that. From the start, we've had a certain synergy with the sex, and that continues. Just when I was thinking I was going to have to speak up and ask for various things, he somehow knew it and responded accordingly. But that aside, I'm much more encouraged by the conversation, honestly.
It wasn't just post-coital, "let's keep the woman happy" chit chat. This was conversation as intense as our first date. Conversation where he could express his strong opinions, and I would hold my own, with the subjects as varied as they were that night over 6 weeks ago. While we haven't had the "relationship" talk, at this point I feel very comfortable with where things are and I don't feel weird when I refer to him as my boyfriend.
Am I his girlfriend? That's for him to decide.
We'll see when we have dinner or something later this week. I texted him when I got home (as usual) and also said "I know our schedules are nuts, but let's see if we can find time maybe next weekend for dinner or something." He immediately replied in the positive.
I can't quite explain well why I feel so good about this. Over the past week I've seen the communication pendulum swing from regular conversation to hardcore sexting and back, all of which has ultimately been a good thing. The in-person communication, though... I think that is what is really doing it for me. It's not huge things, nothing that would change the world as we know it, but just gradual shifts into that comfort zone of two people who genuinely want to know each other and who care. Things like asking how my school year is going, and caring about the answer.
If I do end up taking a hiatus, I'll be sure to let you know and I will still post occasionally about goofy relationship stuff. After all, even in a "relationship," it is still "dating."
Comments
Post a Comment
We are all adults here. Comments are welcome, but they are also moderated because there has been a marked increase in spam, trolling, and generally snarky and nasty comments being submitted. Different opinions are welcome when expressed maturely; rude comments and links will not be published.