Just a Quick Update
Good evening, friends! Just a quick update since I haven't posted in a couple of days.
First of all, I have not heard again from K. Admittedly, I haven't emailed him, either. While it's a little perplexing that I haven't heard from him since he seemed all into me and all that, since I'm not really interested in anything further with him it's okay that I haven't heard from him. It keeps my life simpler.
When it comes to P, that is moving along as it has been. We've actually been able to go now several days with decent text conversations that have been ultimately devoid of sexting. Crazy, I know! And while I might be making a mountain out of a molehill (me?!) there have been a couple of texts from him where he's lifted the shield just a wee bit.
See, he's not big on talking about himself, letting other people in. He doesn't talk about his day other than general non-sequiturs like "It was a sh!tty day at work." Again, we come to that whole insecurities thing. I am also learning and coming to peace with the fact that he's direct and to the point in his communication. He's not going to make small talk and exchange pleasantries, and if he doesn't have anything to say, he's not going to say something just to say something. So when I text him having a bit of an emotional moment, and he replies that he, too, has those times where he feels the same way... well, to me, at least, the fact that he's admitted he isn't always "macho man in control" is endearing.
And I do realize I'm still at that point where I'm going to think even his snotty Kleenex is adorable.
Or, maybe not, but you get my point.
Will I get to see him this week? I asked him yesterday what my chances of seeing him were, and his reply was "slim" because he has his son all week. Not that his son being around has stopped us before, but that wasn't on a school night.
Here's where I'm going to diverge for just a moment. I had a great e-conversation this week with an old high school friend about dating someone with a child. From that, I learned that I haven't been terribly clear to outsiders about my views on children and such. So here is a quick nutshell, Reader's Digest, Cliff Notes version.
I am generally unable to conceive naturally due to a couple of medical conditions. I've been told that it isn't impossible for me to get pregnant, but that it would probably require medical intervention. I don't desire being pregnant enough to go through all of that, frankly.
But....I do like kids. It's one reason I am a teacher. Since there are so many kids out there who need homes, I don't see, for me at least, why I should endure fertility drugs or IVF when adoption and foster care are a possibility. And there's also being with someone who comes with a pre-made family.
The long and the short is that while my biological clock isn't banging away for me to have kids, I would not exclude dating someone who has kids because I wouldn't mind and might even enjoy being a mom... even a step-mom.
I'm not mooning over wedding dresses or anything when it comes to P. It's been all of 6 weeks since our first date, and the course our "relationship" has taken hasn't exactly been "normal." We aren't even exclusive at this point. I do understand that complications of dating someone who has joint custody of their child, that there is a former spouse who will always be around and involved. When it came to P, I knew that before I responded to his "wink." I've set my search settings to include those with children, and I (basically) know what I am getting in to.
Every situation is different. Every child is different. So far, P's son has been perfectly normal around me; meaning, he's been somewhat shy, quiet, and reserved. Absolutely what I would expect from a well-adjusted 10 year old boy. Granted, I haven't spent much time around him, and ultimately how much time I do spend around him is up to his dad. But that is just another bridge to be crossed, should the path go there at all.
That said, let's see if I even get to see P this week!
First of all, I have not heard again from K. Admittedly, I haven't emailed him, either. While it's a little perplexing that I haven't heard from him since he seemed all into me and all that, since I'm not really interested in anything further with him it's okay that I haven't heard from him. It keeps my life simpler.
When it comes to P, that is moving along as it has been. We've actually been able to go now several days with decent text conversations that have been ultimately devoid of sexting. Crazy, I know! And while I might be making a mountain out of a molehill (me?!) there have been a couple of texts from him where he's lifted the shield just a wee bit.
See, he's not big on talking about himself, letting other people in. He doesn't talk about his day other than general non-sequiturs like "It was a sh!tty day at work." Again, we come to that whole insecurities thing. I am also learning and coming to peace with the fact that he's direct and to the point in his communication. He's not going to make small talk and exchange pleasantries, and if he doesn't have anything to say, he's not going to say something just to say something. So when I text him having a bit of an emotional moment, and he replies that he, too, has those times where he feels the same way... well, to me, at least, the fact that he's admitted he isn't always "macho man in control" is endearing.
And I do realize I'm still at that point where I'm going to think even his snotty Kleenex is adorable.
Or, maybe not, but you get my point.
Will I get to see him this week? I asked him yesterday what my chances of seeing him were, and his reply was "slim" because he has his son all week. Not that his son being around has stopped us before, but that wasn't on a school night.
Here's where I'm going to diverge for just a moment. I had a great e-conversation this week with an old high school friend about dating someone with a child. From that, I learned that I haven't been terribly clear to outsiders about my views on children and such. So here is a quick nutshell, Reader's Digest, Cliff Notes version.
I am generally unable to conceive naturally due to a couple of medical conditions. I've been told that it isn't impossible for me to get pregnant, but that it would probably require medical intervention. I don't desire being pregnant enough to go through all of that, frankly.
But....I do like kids. It's one reason I am a teacher. Since there are so many kids out there who need homes, I don't see, for me at least, why I should endure fertility drugs or IVF when adoption and foster care are a possibility. And there's also being with someone who comes with a pre-made family.
The long and the short is that while my biological clock isn't banging away for me to have kids, I would not exclude dating someone who has kids because I wouldn't mind and might even enjoy being a mom... even a step-mom.
I'm not mooning over wedding dresses or anything when it comes to P. It's been all of 6 weeks since our first date, and the course our "relationship" has taken hasn't exactly been "normal." We aren't even exclusive at this point. I do understand that complications of dating someone who has joint custody of their child, that there is a former spouse who will always be around and involved. When it came to P, I knew that before I responded to his "wink." I've set my search settings to include those with children, and I (basically) know what I am getting in to.
Every situation is different. Every child is different. So far, P's son has been perfectly normal around me; meaning, he's been somewhat shy, quiet, and reserved. Absolutely what I would expect from a well-adjusted 10 year old boy. Granted, I haven't spent much time around him, and ultimately how much time I do spend around him is up to his dad. But that is just another bridge to be crossed, should the path go there at all.
That said, let's see if I even get to see P this week!
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