Four Hours
Four hours is how long it took K to reply.
We're meeting for coffee on Saturday at 4:00.
This feels particularly weird not just because of my complex and bizarre feelings for P, but because I feel like I just don't know K. We've exchanged only a small handful of emails, no phone numbers (and I do not make the first move there). Yes, I know this is why you go out on a date with someone, to get to know them. Words are failing me today trying to describe why this date feels weirder than others. I think part of it is because I don't feel like I want to know K, I'm not curious about him.
I'm sure it's because my perspective is clouded by P. And I do still feel like I'm slinking around on P, although I have no reason to believe he hasn't been out seeing other women (nor do I have a reason to believe he has). I feel a bit like I'm living that line from the Enrique Iglesias song "Baby, I Like It" where he says, "your boyfriend's on vacation and he doesn't have to know..." Actually, on the "has he or has he not" front, what I know is that P's been active on Match since we started dating. I also know that... let's phrase it by saying he's told me I have been prevalent in his thoughts during some of his private moments. So even if he is seeing others, I'm still leading the pack for the time being.
But back to K.
I've taken some time to re-read K's emails via Match. Part of me finds it very humorous that on two accounts, I don't meet his search criteria: age and height. Yet he is very anxious for this date. I finally took the time to watch a YouTube video he sent me that he has from his comedy days. I hadn't read his description of it very carefully, so at first it didn't make a whole lot of sense. Turns out it was a spin-off of sorts from a one man show he used to do, and he sent it to me because I love 80s & 90s hair bands. Was it funny? Meh. I thought a couple things humorous, but a couple things... well, some people might find it funny but I didn't. We all have different senses of humor. For me, if you're going to do satire, you need to really go all the way. Half-assed satire just looks like you're poking fun at someone while they're down.
He's really into golf. Really. We all need hobbies, I suppose. P's a Trekkie. (Oy vey.) At least golf requires physical exertion, something P could stand to do a little more of. (I'm saying this as a fitness professional, not in a snarky way about his physical appearance. His cardiovascular health could use a little TLC.) Still, I am not a golfer.
I do find K's choice of coffee houses interesting. K lists himself as a liberal Catholic. (P is "Christian/Other." We have yet to have a deep conversation about religion.) The coffee house K chose for our date is run by a religious organization. It's not a church coffee house or anything like that, but it was founded as a place for people to be able to do ministry while in a casual and "relevant" environment. (Side note: YouTube "Contemporvent Worship." Get a good LOL if praise & worship is your thing.) It's also a place that has live music almost every weekend. I'm not sure if he picked it because it's an Indie kind of place, because of the music (although we won't be there when someone is playing), or because of the religious aspect -- or any combination of those things. I just find it interesting.
Oh, and it's 7 blocks up the street from the Starbucks where P and I had our first date. Yeah, I LOL'ed at that once I realized it. Apparently, my first date cruising territory is becoming coffee houses along a certain stretch of road in Overland Park. Rest assured, though, I won't mention that I went on a date a few blocks from there. I don't need to open the Pandora's Box of "so what happened?" Not that it would necessarily be a bad thing to say "we're still seeing each other, but we're not exclusive," although I certainly wouldn't say, "oh, we're sleeping together." If he has problems with the former, then that's just another indicator that he wasn't meant to be.
I'm gradually coming to better terms with this dating multiple people thing. I've been pleasantly surprised by the support from my friends about it -- and about getting it on with P even though we aren't an exclusive couple. Today while teaching my "Active Older Adults Fitness Class," a 71 year old lady told me I should date and "try out" (wink wink nudge nudge) as many men as possible. She said when she started dating her husband, she was dating another person at the same time. Somehow, I think 50+ years ago, that was more scandalous than it would be today. Food for thought, certainly!
One last digression... new bachelors who are winking at me on Match. Today's contestant is a 44 year old divorcee with 2 kids. Perhaps I'm cynical, but when you are "recently separated and divorced" and say in your profile that you "are a very intimate person, and would like a mate who is the same way," that screams to me "I WANT A HOOK UP!" I appreciate you taking the initiative, but I will not be replying in kind, thanks for playing. There's just not enough I find attractive in your profile.
Given the latest interested gentlemen, I'm thinking I need to reassess my primary profile picture on Match. It's a PG version of the one I sent P saying "find time for me soon." We know how that ended up. So perhaps having a primary picture that kind of oozes sexuality isn't the best choice...
We're meeting for coffee on Saturday at 4:00.
This feels particularly weird not just because of my complex and bizarre feelings for P, but because I feel like I just don't know K. We've exchanged only a small handful of emails, no phone numbers (and I do not make the first move there). Yes, I know this is why you go out on a date with someone, to get to know them. Words are failing me today trying to describe why this date feels weirder than others. I think part of it is because I don't feel like I want to know K, I'm not curious about him.
I'm sure it's because my perspective is clouded by P. And I do still feel like I'm slinking around on P, although I have no reason to believe he hasn't been out seeing other women (nor do I have a reason to believe he has). I feel a bit like I'm living that line from the Enrique Iglesias song "Baby, I Like It" where he says, "your boyfriend's on vacation and he doesn't have to know..." Actually, on the "has he or has he not" front, what I know is that P's been active on Match since we started dating. I also know that... let's phrase it by saying he's told me I have been prevalent in his thoughts during some of his private moments. So even if he is seeing others, I'm still leading the pack for the time being.
But back to K.
I've taken some time to re-read K's emails via Match. Part of me finds it very humorous that on two accounts, I don't meet his search criteria: age and height. Yet he is very anxious for this date. I finally took the time to watch a YouTube video he sent me that he has from his comedy days. I hadn't read his description of it very carefully, so at first it didn't make a whole lot of sense. Turns out it was a spin-off of sorts from a one man show he used to do, and he sent it to me because I love 80s & 90s hair bands. Was it funny? Meh. I thought a couple things humorous, but a couple things... well, some people might find it funny but I didn't. We all have different senses of humor. For me, if you're going to do satire, you need to really go all the way. Half-assed satire just looks like you're poking fun at someone while they're down.
He's really into golf. Really. We all need hobbies, I suppose. P's a Trekkie. (Oy vey.) At least golf requires physical exertion, something P could stand to do a little more of. (I'm saying this as a fitness professional, not in a snarky way about his physical appearance. His cardiovascular health could use a little TLC.) Still, I am not a golfer.
I do find K's choice of coffee houses interesting. K lists himself as a liberal Catholic. (P is "Christian/Other." We have yet to have a deep conversation about religion.) The coffee house K chose for our date is run by a religious organization. It's not a church coffee house or anything like that, but it was founded as a place for people to be able to do ministry while in a casual and "relevant" environment. (Side note: YouTube "Contemporvent Worship." Get a good LOL if praise & worship is your thing.) It's also a place that has live music almost every weekend. I'm not sure if he picked it because it's an Indie kind of place, because of the music (although we won't be there when someone is playing), or because of the religious aspect -- or any combination of those things. I just find it interesting.
Oh, and it's 7 blocks up the street from the Starbucks where P and I had our first date. Yeah, I LOL'ed at that once I realized it. Apparently, my first date cruising territory is becoming coffee houses along a certain stretch of road in Overland Park. Rest assured, though, I won't mention that I went on a date a few blocks from there. I don't need to open the Pandora's Box of "so what happened?" Not that it would necessarily be a bad thing to say "we're still seeing each other, but we're not exclusive," although I certainly wouldn't say, "oh, we're sleeping together." If he has problems with the former, then that's just another indicator that he wasn't meant to be.
I'm gradually coming to better terms with this dating multiple people thing. I've been pleasantly surprised by the support from my friends about it -- and about getting it on with P even though we aren't an exclusive couple. Today while teaching my "Active Older Adults Fitness Class," a 71 year old lady told me I should date and "try out" (wink wink nudge nudge) as many men as possible. She said when she started dating her husband, she was dating another person at the same time. Somehow, I think 50+ years ago, that was more scandalous than it would be today. Food for thought, certainly!
One last digression... new bachelors who are winking at me on Match. Today's contestant is a 44 year old divorcee with 2 kids. Perhaps I'm cynical, but when you are "recently separated and divorced" and say in your profile that you "are a very intimate person, and would like a mate who is the same way," that screams to me "I WANT A HOOK UP!" I appreciate you taking the initiative, but I will not be replying in kind, thanks for playing. There's just not enough I find attractive in your profile.
Given the latest interested gentlemen, I'm thinking I need to reassess my primary profile picture on Match. It's a PG version of the one I sent P saying "find time for me soon." We know how that ended up. So perhaps having a primary picture that kind of oozes sexuality isn't the best choice...
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