The Queen of Rationalization
I can rationalize just about anything. That cute dress, those awesome shoes (especially the shoes), the extra 10 minutes of sleep, why I don't need to clean the kitchen just yet... you name it, I can probably come up with a very persuasive rationalization for my side. Except, perhaps, when it comes to dating.
It was my intention to leave P alone until he decided to reach out to me. Then, I rationalized to myself that if by Saturday (tomorrow) I hadn't heard from him, a short little check-in text would be okay. After all, at that point it would've been almost 3 full days. When my friend M -- this being the girlfriend from MN -- got wind of this, well, she lovingly slapped me via text message.
Which means after she reads this post, I'll really get slapped.
However, no matter how experienced the advice giver is, and no matter how well-intentioned, if you aren't the one in the situation you don't have all the information. Yes, M has met P, but she hasn't spent that much time with him. While I'm not setting any records for our time together, we have had a great one-on-one date -- 2.5 hours without a single conversation lag -- and we had quite the conversations at the games and via text. And her and I are different personalities. What works for her is not necessarily a reflection of my personality, and vice versa. Even though it isn't always accurate, my gut, my instinct said to text P against M's advice.
Ultimately, my rationalization to text P tonight after rehearsal came down to one thought: sometimes, you've just got to know. I figured I would send a very brief text, just checking in. No declarations of adoration, no racy suggestions, no arguably nosy questions. The entire text read: "Hey there... you still alive?" If he didn't answer, or if he took hours to answer, that would be my answer. My answer to move on. My answer to say, yes dear, he's not interested in what you are interested in, so let's move on to finding someone else who is.
There's one other element of the rationalization... there's sort of another iron in the fire. A new entry. More on that in a moment.
It took P all of, oh, less than 10 minutes to reply. We actually had a brief conversation, which I ended because he's currently driving and while I might be dumb enough to, on occasion, text and drive I certainly don't want to be starring in one of those "this is the text he was reading when he broadsided a random cow crossing the highway and died" commercials. From here on out, though, it's up to him. I was a brief specter in his evening, a little reminder, who was then *poof* gone.
Now that other iron...
I had invited P to this weekend's concerts, offering him my comp ticket. I never heard back. So, I gave the ticket to a friend I've known for a couple of years who I knew was coming to the concert. This friend and I have always, from day one, been very comfortable with each other, even flirty. (To be fair and honest, he's that way with a lot of women.)
Hours after I confirm his comp with our administrator, I was chatting with a mutual friend, someone who has been one of his closest friends. She was asking for an update on my love life -- she hasn't had much time to read this lately -- and when I told her about the downfall in communication and my uncertainty, and that I was probably going to be moving on, she said, "What about ________?" This being the friend who I gave my comp to, of course.
"What about him? Isn't he seeing someone?"
"Not anymore. You should consider him."
Hmmmm. Long story short, she gives me approval to be with him, and she's opinionated about these sorts of things. This being a local thing, off of Match, and with dozens of mutual friends involved, unless something actually happens I will remain quite mum about him on this blog. At this point, all I will say is that I would be interested in exploring opportunities, should they occur. And at least today, the texts have been a-flying. But I'm not one to hold my breath on this.
If they both end up at the concert -- unlikely, but stranger things have been known to happen -- well, at least I'll have some interesting material for this blog. It may be a totally moot point. After all, it's about 24 hours away, and we know what can happen in 24 hours!
It was my intention to leave P alone until he decided to reach out to me. Then, I rationalized to myself that if by Saturday (tomorrow) I hadn't heard from him, a short little check-in text would be okay. After all, at that point it would've been almost 3 full days. When my friend M -- this being the girlfriend from MN -- got wind of this, well, she lovingly slapped me via text message.
Which means after she reads this post, I'll really get slapped.
However, no matter how experienced the advice giver is, and no matter how well-intentioned, if you aren't the one in the situation you don't have all the information. Yes, M has met P, but she hasn't spent that much time with him. While I'm not setting any records for our time together, we have had a great one-on-one date -- 2.5 hours without a single conversation lag -- and we had quite the conversations at the games and via text. And her and I are different personalities. What works for her is not necessarily a reflection of my personality, and vice versa. Even though it isn't always accurate, my gut, my instinct said to text P against M's advice.
Ultimately, my rationalization to text P tonight after rehearsal came down to one thought: sometimes, you've just got to know. I figured I would send a very brief text, just checking in. No declarations of adoration, no racy suggestions, no arguably nosy questions. The entire text read: "Hey there... you still alive?" If he didn't answer, or if he took hours to answer, that would be my answer. My answer to move on. My answer to say, yes dear, he's not interested in what you are interested in, so let's move on to finding someone else who is.
There's one other element of the rationalization... there's sort of another iron in the fire. A new entry. More on that in a moment.
It took P all of, oh, less than 10 minutes to reply. We actually had a brief conversation, which I ended because he's currently driving and while I might be dumb enough to, on occasion, text and drive I certainly don't want to be starring in one of those "this is the text he was reading when he broadsided a random cow crossing the highway and died" commercials. From here on out, though, it's up to him. I was a brief specter in his evening, a little reminder, who was then *poof* gone.
Now that other iron...
I had invited P to this weekend's concerts, offering him my comp ticket. I never heard back. So, I gave the ticket to a friend I've known for a couple of years who I knew was coming to the concert. This friend and I have always, from day one, been very comfortable with each other, even flirty. (To be fair and honest, he's that way with a lot of women.)
Hours after I confirm his comp with our administrator, I was chatting with a mutual friend, someone who has been one of his closest friends. She was asking for an update on my love life -- she hasn't had much time to read this lately -- and when I told her about the downfall in communication and my uncertainty, and that I was probably going to be moving on, she said, "What about ________?" This being the friend who I gave my comp to, of course.
"What about him? Isn't he seeing someone?"
"Not anymore. You should consider him."
Hmmmm. Long story short, she gives me approval to be with him, and she's opinionated about these sorts of things. This being a local thing, off of Match, and with dozens of mutual friends involved, unless something actually happens I will remain quite mum about him on this blog. At this point, all I will say is that I would be interested in exploring opportunities, should they occur. And at least today, the texts have been a-flying. But I'm not one to hold my breath on this.
If they both end up at the concert -- unlikely, but stranger things have been known to happen -- well, at least I'll have some interesting material for this blog. It may be a totally moot point. After all, it's about 24 hours away, and we know what can happen in 24 hours!
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