Should I Stay or Should I Go?
With all due respect to The Clash, that phrase went through my head for a good 45 minutes or so tonight.
Relationships are full of stereotypes. This is nothing new or groundbreaking, I know. Stereotypes have their roots somewhere. Leave it to me to find a guy who goes against the stereotypes, or at least one in particular.
"Which stereotype?" you ask.
The stereotype where, after sex, girls want to cuddle and guys just want to roll over and go to sleep, I reply.
"Wait, sex?" you say.
Um, yeah.
So after a month or so of emailing, texting, a couple of dates, meeting his son, and sexting like rabbits (if rabbits could sext), the much anticipated booty call finally happened. I laid out the cards of "find time for me soon." "Soon" ended up being about 4 hours later.
But I'm not here to blog about what happened between two consenting adults. This is not a XXX rated blog, or even an X rated one. We're male and female, and beyond that, use your own imagination if you dare. I'm pondering what happened after.
For whatever reason, we didn't make it beyond his living room. When we were done, he went and collapsed on one of the couches, and then asked me to come over and cuddle. Yep, cuddle. For the next hour and a half or so, at his leading we did the "girl thing" of cuddling, hand-holding, and talking after sex when ironically this girl just wanted to sleep. But as men do, he did eventually drift off... and snored in my ear and drooled in my hair.
Romantic.
Having to work in the morning, and finding trying to share a couch incredibly uncomfortable, I finally got up, pulled myself together, and came home. This of course after a goodly amount of time of laying there thinking, "should I stay? should I go?" The fact that all I wanted to do is sleep doesn't surprise me; long story short it has to do with my PCOS. What did surprise me was his reaction. I guess I was expecting it to be all about the sex for him, and it was more intimate than that. I also didn't necessarily want to leave. Discomfort on the couch aside, I hadn't gone over prepared to spend the night and go to work the next morning... you know, clothing and toothbrush and stuff like that, which is why I did leave.
So where do we go from here? At this point, I have no idea. I've let him know I'm up for a second round, but what it means beyond that I am unsure. I know what I want, but is it what he wants -- that being a relationship? Only time will tell. I'm not going to rush or push things. I just know how remarkably comfortable I feel around him, both clothed and naked. Given my body issues, that says something. And if for the time being, it's mostly about sex, I'm actually okay with that.
In the meantime, I have to figure out what to do about K, Bachelor #7, whose extremely long email -- and second request for a coffee date -- is awaiting a reply in my Match inbox. Am I attracted to K? So far, physically, no, but we do enjoy a lot of things in common and he's very articulate. Some chemistry takes time to develop... as long as I'm not trying to make a mountain out of a molehill just to "get back" at P or something dumb like that. That would be using both men, and that's just not classy.
Because, we all know a woman who goes on a booty call with a guy she's been around all of 3 times is super classy. But heck, I didn't do the walk of shame -- I held my head high!
Relationships are full of stereotypes. This is nothing new or groundbreaking, I know. Stereotypes have their roots somewhere. Leave it to me to find a guy who goes against the stereotypes, or at least one in particular.
"Which stereotype?" you ask.
The stereotype where, after sex, girls want to cuddle and guys just want to roll over and go to sleep, I reply.
"Wait, sex?" you say.
Um, yeah.
So after a month or so of emailing, texting, a couple of dates, meeting his son, and sexting like rabbits (if rabbits could sext), the much anticipated booty call finally happened. I laid out the cards of "find time for me soon." "Soon" ended up being about 4 hours later.
But I'm not here to blog about what happened between two consenting adults. This is not a XXX rated blog, or even an X rated one. We're male and female, and beyond that, use your own imagination if you dare. I'm pondering what happened after.
For whatever reason, we didn't make it beyond his living room. When we were done, he went and collapsed on one of the couches, and then asked me to come over and cuddle. Yep, cuddle. For the next hour and a half or so, at his leading we did the "girl thing" of cuddling, hand-holding, and talking after sex when ironically this girl just wanted to sleep. But as men do, he did eventually drift off... and snored in my ear and drooled in my hair.
Romantic.
Having to work in the morning, and finding trying to share a couch incredibly uncomfortable, I finally got up, pulled myself together, and came home. This of course after a goodly amount of time of laying there thinking, "should I stay? should I go?" The fact that all I wanted to do is sleep doesn't surprise me; long story short it has to do with my PCOS. What did surprise me was his reaction. I guess I was expecting it to be all about the sex for him, and it was more intimate than that. I also didn't necessarily want to leave. Discomfort on the couch aside, I hadn't gone over prepared to spend the night and go to work the next morning... you know, clothing and toothbrush and stuff like that, which is why I did leave.
So where do we go from here? At this point, I have no idea. I've let him know I'm up for a second round, but what it means beyond that I am unsure. I know what I want, but is it what he wants -- that being a relationship? Only time will tell. I'm not going to rush or push things. I just know how remarkably comfortable I feel around him, both clothed and naked. Given my body issues, that says something. And if for the time being, it's mostly about sex, I'm actually okay with that.
In the meantime, I have to figure out what to do about K, Bachelor #7, whose extremely long email -- and second request for a coffee date -- is awaiting a reply in my Match inbox. Am I attracted to K? So far, physically, no, but we do enjoy a lot of things in common and he's very articulate. Some chemistry takes time to develop... as long as I'm not trying to make a mountain out of a molehill just to "get back" at P or something dumb like that. That would be using both men, and that's just not classy.
Because, we all know a woman who goes on a booty call with a guy she's been around all of 3 times is super classy. But heck, I didn't do the walk of shame -- I held my head high!
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