Catnip and Other Musings
Catnip is a plant whose aroma is tantalizing to many cats. Not all cats are affected by catnip, but enough are to give the plant its name. Cats who are affected by catnip will drool, roll in it, and basically get stoned. It really can be hilarious. In my household, Tabitha goes apesh!t bonkers for catnip. The way my apartment in Miami was set up, she'd stashed some nip in the corner behind my low TV stand. She'd go back there, I'd hear her licking the plastic of the bag, and then she'd come out and be stoned for the next 30 minutes or so. Simon, on the other hand, couldn't care less.
Catnip is also the term my friend James gave to women who are routinely sought out by guys. Never in my life have I ever felt like catnip. Until this weekend, I suppose.
I already mentioned the two winks I received while I was on my date with #12, J. I reciprocated one of those winks, the one to the guy who I think was #4 but, should this go any further, will probably end up dubbed with a new number. He decided to email me today. I will probably respond; it's only an email.
Let's throw into the mix another wink -- the third of the weekend. This one I also reciprocated. He showed up in my matches last night, and I ranked him as "maybe interested" not because I wasn't interested in what I read and saw, but because based on his profile I wasn't all that sure I was really what he was looking for. We'll see if this goes anywhere. Probably not, but hey, what's a wink?
And remember #9, SLB? Guess who finally replied to the email, gave me his name, and asked for my number. I'll have to think about this one, frankly.
Oh, wait. We have yet another wink. This one... I'll have to think about.
For those keeping score at home, that's 4 winks and 2 emails in less than 24 hours. Then again, my busy Match inbox could be explained by the fact that most people have more time on the weekends for personal pursuits. Still, I'm seriously starting to consider that spreadsheet; I actually had to look back at a previous post to see what number SLB was. .
In the center of this whirling dervish called my dating life is #12, J. Little by little I'm starting to see more of who he is, and maybe he isn't quite as "white bread Minnesota" as I thought. (This is the point where this post will go into me trying to sort stuff out, only to ultimately disregard my brain and follow my heart. Or, at least my hormones.)
Yes, he was nervous. First dates are nerve-wracking, especially when you've been off the market for a long time. Although at certain points I did have to lead some -- I really did feel like the teacher more than once, gently leading and encouraging the student to do what I knew they could do -- when it came to the things that are bigger points, he did take all the initiative. He took the first steps towards touching, hand-holding, resting his hand on my knee/leg. He initiated the kiss. (To be technically correct, kisses. There were two. But the first one didn't really count.)
Today I texted him thanking him again for a really nice evening, and I also thanked him for "being a much better kisser than my ex bf." He replied that he also had a good time, and was kind of surprised I was ranking him over my ex based on "such a limited sample size." In the text conversation that followed, he revealed some telling things about him and what he thinks of me, and it reminded me of something that happened the day before.
He'd sent the email with the subject line "Hey, you're hot/cute, wanna meet?" I've remarked about him pulling out little things and remembering them, and that's where that line came from. He pressed me to actually answer the question: did I want to meet him? My response to that was, "Depends. Do you think I'm hot or cute?"
Talk about putting the boy on a hot plate.
His reply is what definitely tipped the scales in his favor. He said, "the perfect combination of the two." How can you turn down a date request from a guy who thinks you're both hot and cute?
In our text conversation today, I learned that he's a very competitive person. As he said, had he known he was in a "competition" [with my ex], he would've "tried to give a bigger sample size." Oh, really? He also told me that he'd looked up the whole ABD/DMA thing "so his email would stand out." Apparently, I'm something he really wants to pursue, and he's willing to make some waves for it.
Interesting.
I'm still trying to sort through how I really feel about him. Is what I feel my hormonal, physical reaction to simply another human being interested in me? More than once before I've allowed myself to get into situations with guys not because I found them attractive, but because they found me attractive. After getting a brief reminiscence of intimacy with P, enough to remind me of what it is really like and to whet my appetite once again, am I just responding to the fact that a nice, sweet guy wants to hold my hand, put his arm around me, and kiss me? Is this one of those deeper chemistry will develop over time things? Are my cerebral concerns -- his very recent divorce, his teenage kids, the fact he prefers country music (hey, it's me) -- as valid as the weight I'm giving them?
As a friend of mine has once said, just because nice guys finish last doesn't mean they lose.
I don't feel all happy giddy like I did after my date with P, but perhaps this is me being "once bitten, twice shy." I do know I want to see J again, especially now that I've seen more of his flirtatious side. If I can get him to crack a joke in person, then we'll really be in business!
Until then... I have some winks and emails to reply to. I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket just yet. Been there, done that, have the faint scar on the top of my foot to show for it.
Catnip is also the term my friend James gave to women who are routinely sought out by guys. Never in my life have I ever felt like catnip. Until this weekend, I suppose.
I already mentioned the two winks I received while I was on my date with #12, J. I reciprocated one of those winks, the one to the guy who I think was #4 but, should this go any further, will probably end up dubbed with a new number. He decided to email me today. I will probably respond; it's only an email.
Let's throw into the mix another wink -- the third of the weekend. This one I also reciprocated. He showed up in my matches last night, and I ranked him as "maybe interested" not because I wasn't interested in what I read and saw, but because based on his profile I wasn't all that sure I was really what he was looking for. We'll see if this goes anywhere. Probably not, but hey, what's a wink?
And remember #9, SLB? Guess who finally replied to the email, gave me his name, and asked for my number. I'll have to think about this one, frankly.
Oh, wait. We have yet another wink. This one... I'll have to think about.
For those keeping score at home, that's 4 winks and 2 emails in less than 24 hours. Then again, my busy Match inbox could be explained by the fact that most people have more time on the weekends for personal pursuits. Still, I'm seriously starting to consider that spreadsheet; I actually had to look back at a previous post to see what number SLB was. .
In the center of this whirling dervish called my dating life is #12, J. Little by little I'm starting to see more of who he is, and maybe he isn't quite as "white bread Minnesota" as I thought. (This is the point where this post will go into me trying to sort stuff out, only to ultimately disregard my brain and follow my heart. Or, at least my hormones.)
Yes, he was nervous. First dates are nerve-wracking, especially when you've been off the market for a long time. Although at certain points I did have to lead some -- I really did feel like the teacher more than once, gently leading and encouraging the student to do what I knew they could do -- when it came to the things that are bigger points, he did take all the initiative. He took the first steps towards touching, hand-holding, resting his hand on my knee/leg. He initiated the kiss. (To be technically correct, kisses. There were two. But the first one didn't really count.)
Today I texted him thanking him again for a really nice evening, and I also thanked him for "being a much better kisser than my ex bf." He replied that he also had a good time, and was kind of surprised I was ranking him over my ex based on "such a limited sample size." In the text conversation that followed, he revealed some telling things about him and what he thinks of me, and it reminded me of something that happened the day before.
He'd sent the email with the subject line "Hey, you're hot/cute, wanna meet?" I've remarked about him pulling out little things and remembering them, and that's where that line came from. He pressed me to actually answer the question: did I want to meet him? My response to that was, "Depends. Do you think I'm hot or cute?"
Talk about putting the boy on a hot plate.
His reply is what definitely tipped the scales in his favor. He said, "the perfect combination of the two." How can you turn down a date request from a guy who thinks you're both hot and cute?
In our text conversation today, I learned that he's a very competitive person. As he said, had he known he was in a "competition" [with my ex], he would've "tried to give a bigger sample size." Oh, really? He also told me that he'd looked up the whole ABD/DMA thing "so his email would stand out." Apparently, I'm something he really wants to pursue, and he's willing to make some waves for it.
Interesting.
I'm still trying to sort through how I really feel about him. Is what I feel my hormonal, physical reaction to simply another human being interested in me? More than once before I've allowed myself to get into situations with guys not because I found them attractive, but because they found me attractive. After getting a brief reminiscence of intimacy with P, enough to remind me of what it is really like and to whet my appetite once again, am I just responding to the fact that a nice, sweet guy wants to hold my hand, put his arm around me, and kiss me? Is this one of those deeper chemistry will develop over time things? Are my cerebral concerns -- his very recent divorce, his teenage kids, the fact he prefers country music (hey, it's me) -- as valid as the weight I'm giving them?
As a friend of mine has once said, just because nice guys finish last doesn't mean they lose.
I don't feel all happy giddy like I did after my date with P, but perhaps this is me being "once bitten, twice shy." I do know I want to see J again, especially now that I've seen more of his flirtatious side. If I can get him to crack a joke in person, then we'll really be in business!
Until then... I have some winks and emails to reply to. I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket just yet. Been there, done that, have the faint scar on the top of my foot to show for it.
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