One Less Candidate
Okay, sports fans. Take out your score cards, and scratch #9, SLB. He's being traded to another team for another yet-to-be-named player.
Here's what happened. I'd replied to his email saying, "give me your number first, and then you'll get mine." His reply was rude and snarky. He said things like, "If you don't want to give me your number, just say so" and "that whole 'you go first' thing is SO high school."
Because 41 year old guys should say things like "SO high school."
He was marginal to begin with. His rude attitude, and the fact that he still refuses to give me his number (although he claims he would be reciprocal) has me saying, "no thank you." I mean, really. If a guy really wants a girl's number, should he insult and berate her? I don't think so.
Maybe I'm too uppity. I do have a college degree. And a masters degree. And I've completed all the coursework for a doctorate.
He finished high school. Not even "some college." Just high school.
I started to draft several replies, and dumped all of them. I think I'm just going to do what has annoyed me about other folks on Match, and just not reply. I was raised with the adage if I couldn't say something nice, I should keep my mouth shut. With several other guys vying for my attention, why should I spend any time worrying about my reply to a guy I'm really not that interested in?
Besides, I have a nice, gentle, sweet -- and, apparently competitive -- gentleman who treats me a lot better than that. And several other guys whose gentleman level is still being discerned via text messages and Match emails.
Speaking of said gentleman, tonight saw yet another interesting development. We'd been texting this afternoon, as I'd said, and his last text ended with "I'll text or email you later." Text or email? Okay, fine.
Instead, he called. We ended up spending over 4 hours -- yes, you read that correctly -- on the phone. We talked about the date, about my impressions of his profile, our respective histories. I learned a lot about the divorce and what led up to it (can you say baggage?), and I learned that he spent as much of the movie apparently looking at my hair, which he "loves," as he did watching the movie. He said the physical gestures "just felt natural" and that he thought I was really the "perfect person for [his] first date after the divorce."
We covered a lot of personal ground, really. I now know what I am getting myself into, should this really go further. We did agree to a second date, time at some nebulous point in the future. Most importantly, we had a good conversation about being open. I don't mean when it comes to talking about ourselves or whatever, but that we were still going to date other people. At least, until we decided to date exclusively.
I was really glad for that conversation. It means I can continue to chat with and meet guys, and I can do so fairly guilt-free. It also takes away the question of, "is he running around on me?"
After 4 hours and 21 minutes on the phone, I know what I'm getting into. I have a better understanding of his personality. We actually flirted, really flirted. I think he walked a little bit outside his comfort zone when talking about sending racy pics to phones among other sexual topics, but it's good for him. I learned important things about what he finds attractive or sexy; this is information that I can use to my advantage is either a good or bad way.
Even more pressing to the matter of being in our mid-to-late 30s and dating is that we know more about each other's baggage. He told me a lot about his divorce. I know where to tread extra lightly.
Lots to think about, lots to ponder.
Here's what happened. I'd replied to his email saying, "give me your number first, and then you'll get mine." His reply was rude and snarky. He said things like, "If you don't want to give me your number, just say so" and "that whole 'you go first' thing is SO high school."
Because 41 year old guys should say things like "SO high school."
He was marginal to begin with. His rude attitude, and the fact that he still refuses to give me his number (although he claims he would be reciprocal) has me saying, "no thank you." I mean, really. If a guy really wants a girl's number, should he insult and berate her? I don't think so.
Maybe I'm too uppity. I do have a college degree. And a masters degree. And I've completed all the coursework for a doctorate.
He finished high school. Not even "some college." Just high school.
I started to draft several replies, and dumped all of them. I think I'm just going to do what has annoyed me about other folks on Match, and just not reply. I was raised with the adage if I couldn't say something nice, I should keep my mouth shut. With several other guys vying for my attention, why should I spend any time worrying about my reply to a guy I'm really not that interested in?
Besides, I have a nice, gentle, sweet -- and, apparently competitive -- gentleman who treats me a lot better than that. And several other guys whose gentleman level is still being discerned via text messages and Match emails.
Speaking of said gentleman, tonight saw yet another interesting development. We'd been texting this afternoon, as I'd said, and his last text ended with "I'll text or email you later." Text or email? Okay, fine.
Instead, he called. We ended up spending over 4 hours -- yes, you read that correctly -- on the phone. We talked about the date, about my impressions of his profile, our respective histories. I learned a lot about the divorce and what led up to it (can you say baggage?), and I learned that he spent as much of the movie apparently looking at my hair, which he "loves," as he did watching the movie. He said the physical gestures "just felt natural" and that he thought I was really the "perfect person for [his] first date after the divorce."
We covered a lot of personal ground, really. I now know what I am getting myself into, should this really go further. We did agree to a second date, time at some nebulous point in the future. Most importantly, we had a good conversation about being open. I don't mean when it comes to talking about ourselves or whatever, but that we were still going to date other people. At least, until we decided to date exclusively.
I was really glad for that conversation. It means I can continue to chat with and meet guys, and I can do so fairly guilt-free. It also takes away the question of, "is he running around on me?"
After 4 hours and 21 minutes on the phone, I know what I'm getting into. I have a better understanding of his personality. We actually flirted, really flirted. I think he walked a little bit outside his comfort zone when talking about sending racy pics to phones among other sexual topics, but it's good for him. I learned important things about what he finds attractive or sexy; this is information that I can use to my advantage is either a good or bad way.
Even more pressing to the matter of being in our mid-to-late 30s and dating is that we know more about each other's baggage. He told me a lot about his divorce. I know where to tread extra lightly.
Lots to think about, lots to ponder.
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