Everybody is Somebody's First
In the great and grand world of dating, every first date you go on is going to be a first of something for both parties. Tonight's date with J was my first, believe it or not, stereotypical dinner and a movie date. Yep. 36 years on this earth, and, as best as I can remember (and I don't have all that many first dates to sort through) this was my first time doing dinner and a movie -- out. I've done dinner and a movie in. But, I don't think that was a first date. Maybe it was; that whole relationship was far from normal.
But I digress.
Tonight was a much bigger first for J. It was his first date since his divorce.
Lucky me.
He's by nature a shy guy. He states that upfront in his profile. So far, I've seen little glimpses of his personality, but most of the time he stays safely in his shell. I'm sure he's afraid to make a mistake, afraid to get shot down, rejected. I can be such a strong personality that I'm probably a bit like an exotic creature to him.
For a shy guy, he's great with eye contact. Over dinner, he rarely took his eyes off of me. In a romance novel, that sounds, well, romantic. In real life, it can border on the edge of creepy. In his case, not so much, just because he's such a quiet and unassuming guy. When dealing with a shy person, conversation can sometimes be a little difficult, but overall he made a good attempt in spite of being incredibly nervous.
Incredibly. Nervous.
Once our meals were complete, it was I who said, "so now what?" and not in that, "well, this has been lovely but I have shows on my DVR to catch up on" way. He'd previously said dinner and then plans from there, and I was letting him know I was good with that. We selected a movie -- the James Patterson action film "Alex Cross" -- and headed on over to the theater.
Once there, he finally began to relax. Some. As we were walking from the car to the ticket counter, he pulled me close to him in one of those one arm walking hug things. Was I about to experience "his game?" Hmmm.
Yep. I was. Once settled in the theater, the contact went from arms casually touching on the mutually shared armrest to more intentional contact. One thing led to another, and essentially we spent most of the movie either holding hands, or with his hand resting on my knee/leg. So I was not surprised in the least when he kissed me goodnight.
At least he's a better kisser than P.
Here's where I am right at this moment -- which is, of course, subject to change! He's a nice guy. He's sweet, gentle, unassuming, stable. A girl would generally feel safe with him. He's a native of northern Minnesota, closer to the Canadian border than the Twin Cities, so he has a lot of the stereotypical midwestern boy about him. Simple things, simple food, fairly simple life (save a divorce and 3 kids, only 1 of which is actually his biologically).
For me, he's a step away from boring.
I'm his return foray into dating, and I'm admittedly exotic by bland midwestern standards with the tattoos and the salsa dancing and the sparkly leopard print stilettos. Right now, safe and comfortable isn't necessarily a bad thing for me. P was very stimulating both intellectually and with that uncontrollable sexual response, but he was almost too intense. He knew what he wanted, he asked for it, he was direct.
Maybe I'm underestimating J, but I have a feeling physical intimacy -- should we even get there -- will be sweet, gentle, and predictable. Everything P wasn't, basically.
I do have to give J some bonus points. He has called already, before I got home. He wanted to make sure I got home safely, for starters. Then he confessed to me how nervous he was (duh) and apologized profusely for not telling me how lovely I looked this evening, because he really thought I looked lovely.
Oh, bless his heart.
Will I go on a second date with him? Probably. No reason not to. He knows, though, I'm going to make him ask. Am I going to keep looking? Absolutely. During the date I received two text notifications of winks from guys on Match. The downside is both of them have winked before. One went unreciprocated, and will so again. The second we exchanged an email or two, but that was right before my hiatus. I think he's number 4. I'll probably wink back and see where this one goes, but since he's a non-drinking conservative, it probably won't go all that far! (I didn't think people from Greece were allowed to be non-drinkers. Hmm.)
Ever onward we go...
But I digress.
Tonight was a much bigger first for J. It was his first date since his divorce.
Lucky me.
He's by nature a shy guy. He states that upfront in his profile. So far, I've seen little glimpses of his personality, but most of the time he stays safely in his shell. I'm sure he's afraid to make a mistake, afraid to get shot down, rejected. I can be such a strong personality that I'm probably a bit like an exotic creature to him.
For a shy guy, he's great with eye contact. Over dinner, he rarely took his eyes off of me. In a romance novel, that sounds, well, romantic. In real life, it can border on the edge of creepy. In his case, not so much, just because he's such a quiet and unassuming guy. When dealing with a shy person, conversation can sometimes be a little difficult, but overall he made a good attempt in spite of being incredibly nervous.
Incredibly. Nervous.
Once our meals were complete, it was I who said, "so now what?" and not in that, "well, this has been lovely but I have shows on my DVR to catch up on" way. He'd previously said dinner and then plans from there, and I was letting him know I was good with that. We selected a movie -- the James Patterson action film "Alex Cross" -- and headed on over to the theater.
Once there, he finally began to relax. Some. As we were walking from the car to the ticket counter, he pulled me close to him in one of those one arm walking hug things. Was I about to experience "his game?" Hmmm.
Yep. I was. Once settled in the theater, the contact went from arms casually touching on the mutually shared armrest to more intentional contact. One thing led to another, and essentially we spent most of the movie either holding hands, or with his hand resting on my knee/leg. So I was not surprised in the least when he kissed me goodnight.
At least he's a better kisser than P.
Here's where I am right at this moment -- which is, of course, subject to change! He's a nice guy. He's sweet, gentle, unassuming, stable. A girl would generally feel safe with him. He's a native of northern Minnesota, closer to the Canadian border than the Twin Cities, so he has a lot of the stereotypical midwestern boy about him. Simple things, simple food, fairly simple life (save a divorce and 3 kids, only 1 of which is actually his biologically).
For me, he's a step away from boring.
I'm his return foray into dating, and I'm admittedly exotic by bland midwestern standards with the tattoos and the salsa dancing and the sparkly leopard print stilettos. Right now, safe and comfortable isn't necessarily a bad thing for me. P was very stimulating both intellectually and with that uncontrollable sexual response, but he was almost too intense. He knew what he wanted, he asked for it, he was direct.
Maybe I'm underestimating J, but I have a feeling physical intimacy -- should we even get there -- will be sweet, gentle, and predictable. Everything P wasn't, basically.
I do have to give J some bonus points. He has called already, before I got home. He wanted to make sure I got home safely, for starters. Then he confessed to me how nervous he was (duh) and apologized profusely for not telling me how lovely I looked this evening, because he really thought I looked lovely.
Oh, bless his heart.
Will I go on a second date with him? Probably. No reason not to. He knows, though, I'm going to make him ask. Am I going to keep looking? Absolutely. During the date I received two text notifications of winks from guys on Match. The downside is both of them have winked before. One went unreciprocated, and will so again. The second we exchanged an email or two, but that was right before my hiatus. I think he's number 4. I'll probably wink back and see where this one goes, but since he's a non-drinking conservative, it probably won't go all that far! (I didn't think people from Greece were allowed to be non-drinkers. Hmm.)
Ever onward we go...
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