Up, Down, Moving Along...
Over the past 24-48 hours, I think I've gone through most every emotion imaginable. I've been stressed, relieved, concerned, peaceful, happy, sad, depressed, ambivalent, and all over my so-called love life. This morning, I was ready to send P an ultimatum text: a "If you want me gone, just f*cking say so" kind of text. But, I didn't. Even I still have enough functioning and rational brain cells to know I'm overreacting.
Then I went and taught my adorable "Active Older Adults Strength and Fitness" class. Those two 70-something ladies are a hoot. I work them out while they give me advice on dating. They are my real-life Dowager Countesses of Grantham. By the end of the class, they had me feeling pretty good -- well, at least laughing about -- my "relationship" with P.
Swing swing swing goes the pendulum. Up and down goes the rollercoaster. Clang clang clang goes the trolley. Oh, wait.
There are a few things that I sometimes force myself to do even though they fill me with terror. Inexplicably, checking my snail mail is one of them. So is pulling up my bank account online. Add to that list pulling up P's profile on Match. But I took a deep breath and forced myself to do that.
Buh-bye happy mood.
When we first started talking, one reason he gave me his number was because his account was about to expire. A few weeks later, he added to his profile the words "Expiring soon!" As of today, he's apparently renewed his membership and he's definitely removed the words "expiring soon" from his profile. So, he is still very active on the site.
On the other hand, I've hardly been out on the site over the past couple of weeks. Until today.
So here I was again, feeling all blue and angry and ready to tell P to fuck off, and I decided to update my own profile. Nothing drastic. Just changing back to a different primary picture, tweaking a few words here and there, that sort of stuff. I went through my "daily matches," nothing too amazing there, and then I noticed something else: the number of guys who have "favorited" me has gone up.
I've blogged about that before, the "being favorited" thing. And until today, I hadn't "favorited" anyone myself. But I went and looked at who had "favorited" me.
The most recent gentleman definitely sparked my interest. Articulate, intelligent... and hot. Holy cow oh my good gracious hallelujah Jesus, he's hot. And he favorited me. Hmm. So, I've "winked" at him. What I know from his profile is that he's 41, in medical sales (he lists his income, but really, I'm not a gold-digger), a divorced dad of 2 girls that he has apparently has full custody of. He also has full custody of quite the six pack, too.
Shallow, shallow me.
He's also very clear that he wants a friendship before anything else, and that it seems that women he's met from the site have been pushy for a long term relationship. Something I will definitely have to keep in mind, should things progress at all.
So what does this mean for P? Right now, I have no idea. Should he call or text, wanting to spend time together, yes, I'd reply and want to be with him. If things progress positively with this new guy, though, well... we shall see. Unlike #7, K, so far I'm surprisingly all agog over this one. And even though he's "favorited" me, he ultimately may not respond. It wouldn't be the first time that's happened on Match!
We date because we have to figure out for ourselves what is best for us. First impressions can be right, and they can be wrong. As people get comfortable with each other, our true selves come out -- for better or for worse. In spite of all of my drama on this blog, overall I have to say it's been a fun couple of months with P. If we are indeed winding down and moving on, so be it. I don't regret anything I've done, and, at least as of right now, he doesn't feel like "the one who got away." And if we aren't coming to an end, then... we aren't.
Hey there, old friend Time. Looks like it's all up to you, now.
Then I went and taught my adorable "Active Older Adults Strength and Fitness" class. Those two 70-something ladies are a hoot. I work them out while they give me advice on dating. They are my real-life Dowager Countesses of Grantham. By the end of the class, they had me feeling pretty good -- well, at least laughing about -- my "relationship" with P.
Swing swing swing goes the pendulum. Up and down goes the rollercoaster. Clang clang clang goes the trolley. Oh, wait.
There are a few things that I sometimes force myself to do even though they fill me with terror. Inexplicably, checking my snail mail is one of them. So is pulling up my bank account online. Add to that list pulling up P's profile on Match. But I took a deep breath and forced myself to do that.
Buh-bye happy mood.
When we first started talking, one reason he gave me his number was because his account was about to expire. A few weeks later, he added to his profile the words "Expiring soon!" As of today, he's apparently renewed his membership and he's definitely removed the words "expiring soon" from his profile. So, he is still very active on the site.
On the other hand, I've hardly been out on the site over the past couple of weeks. Until today.
So here I was again, feeling all blue and angry and ready to tell P to fuck off, and I decided to update my own profile. Nothing drastic. Just changing back to a different primary picture, tweaking a few words here and there, that sort of stuff. I went through my "daily matches," nothing too amazing there, and then I noticed something else: the number of guys who have "favorited" me has gone up.
I've blogged about that before, the "being favorited" thing. And until today, I hadn't "favorited" anyone myself. But I went and looked at who had "favorited" me.
The most recent gentleman definitely sparked my interest. Articulate, intelligent... and hot. Holy cow oh my good gracious hallelujah Jesus, he's hot. And he favorited me. Hmm. So, I've "winked" at him. What I know from his profile is that he's 41, in medical sales (he lists his income, but really, I'm not a gold-digger), a divorced dad of 2 girls that he has apparently has full custody of. He also has full custody of quite the six pack, too.
Shallow, shallow me.
He's also very clear that he wants a friendship before anything else, and that it seems that women he's met from the site have been pushy for a long term relationship. Something I will definitely have to keep in mind, should things progress at all.
So what does this mean for P? Right now, I have no idea. Should he call or text, wanting to spend time together, yes, I'd reply and want to be with him. If things progress positively with this new guy, though, well... we shall see. Unlike #7, K, so far I'm surprisingly all agog over this one. And even though he's "favorited" me, he ultimately may not respond. It wouldn't be the first time that's happened on Match!
We date because we have to figure out for ourselves what is best for us. First impressions can be right, and they can be wrong. As people get comfortable with each other, our true selves come out -- for better or for worse. In spite of all of my drama on this blog, overall I have to say it's been a fun couple of months with P. If we are indeed winding down and moving on, so be it. I don't regret anything I've done, and, at least as of right now, he doesn't feel like "the one who got away." And if we aren't coming to an end, then... we aren't.
Hey there, old friend Time. Looks like it's all up to you, now.
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